Rebel Heart [#1]

TWENTY-TWO - (I)Resistible

WARNING: Sexual content ahead. If not comfortable, skip it.

Fuck this. Fuck my father. Fuck Mr Robot. Fuck everyone and everything.

I am tired of being let down even when I don't let many people in. First John, then Luca comes to confuse me with all of this attraction, then Shane worsens everything by declaring his love. Now dear old missing dad comes back from the dead and instead of apologizing for abandoning his family he requires me to come under his wing and learn to take over his business. Whatever that business is because it seems as sketchy as they come.

I needed to blow off some steam so, decided for a run. I left everything at home but the keys. I ran and I ran until I physically couldn't anymore. I think it was the longest run I've had in the past few months, to the point I had to catch the bus back to the area I live in. Now with the sun setting, I'm sitting at the Rivershore reflecting on every single thing that has come to disrupt me this year.

I haven't been back to this spot in a couple of weeks since my uneasy feeling of being watched started and since I don't have it now because it was probably Mr None-of-your-business, I decided to come here today. I need to think and put my head in order all over again. I have been back for a month and I'm already wishing I could go back to work.

Even though I haven't been with Luca sexually again, we have been talking quite often and there was a lot of sexual tension when he took me to dinner the other day. I don't want to get attached but the truth is the guy's handsome, the sex is amazing and somehow, I feel like I can trust him. Even though he's quite secretive with his life.

He helped free the little bit of me that was still trapped in John's drama, to the point that I barely even spare him a thought, not even for a second of my day. I feel free and I start to question if I really should avoid being with someone that makes me feel good and at ease just because of Shane.

But I know I owe him that, the respect for his feelings. And then there's father, leaving a young woman in her mid-twenties with a little girl in her arms to fend for herself while he was out there doing God knows what. He ended up filthy rich and not once decided to call and ask if we needed something. If I hadn't worked my ass working and studying to get a scholarship and help save some money, I wouldn't even be able to do what I love for a living.

"Thank God you're here." The familiar vice makes me whip my head around to look at the source of the voice and make sure my ears are not deceiving me.

"Why do you always end up disturbing my peace?" I say as he comes closer to sear next to me.

"Well, I called you to know if you were up for dinner but your phone was turned off. Throughout the entire day, then I called Shane to know what was going on and he told me he wasn't home. He tried and didn't succeed to reach you, not even the house phone so we got worried." He paused before continuing. "I remembered you came here and decided to just check it out before going to the police to report you as missing."