Two Existentialists | S.R.

65

Hi all! Sorry for being so MIA, I've been studying for my GRE (I'm planning to apply to grad school for a PhD in neuroscience) and been working crazy hours at my healthcare job and my semester just started so it's safe to say I am slowly decomposing. However, here's the next chapter!

-

Spencer grinned as he picked you up and tossed you onto the bed lightly. "Oh, you're going to get it!"

"Spencer, stop," you shrieked, laughing hysterically as he kissed your face softly.

"Never," he murmured, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head.

"We'll have to if we want to see them," you murmured, looking down sadly. Spencer frowned and caressed your face, kissing your forehead gently.

"It's not your fault pretty girl."

"It is my fault, she was supposed to be safe."

"It's not your fault," Spencer reinforced, sitting up and pulling you along with him. "I need you to understand that."

"Spencer, we've been down this road before. You say it's not my fault, I know it clearly is."

Spencer sighed and didn't fight you any further. He simply stood up and held his hand out to you, giving you a small smile. You intertwined your fingers with his and got off the bed, grabbing one of his many cardigans and wrapping it around yourself before you left the house.

-

You entered the hospital, clinging to Spencer as you walked into the unit. Your little baby boy was fussing in his crib, Spencer reaching down and holding him in his arms, rocking him gently.** "How are you doing Lee?" he asked in his baby voice, cooing gently at the infant.

"My favorite boys," you said softly, making Spencer look up and press a kiss to your temple.

"Want to hold him?"

"He looks happy in your arms," you whispered, gently stroking your sons cheek. "I'll hold him later."

The doctor walked in and knocked on the door gently. You turned and smiled politely, waiting for her to give you an update. "Lee is doing well, his heart murmur faded completely so you can take him home, here's the discharge papers," she explained.

Your smile widened, looking at Spencer as he grinned at the baby in his arms. "You're coming home with us little angel."

"And Annabel?" you asked, the doctor frowning slightly.

"It's best if you just go up," she said, turning on her heel and exiting the room. You followed, making your way up to the 8th floor. The nurses smiled and ushered you into the unit, guiding you to the room in which your little girl lay asleep attached to a breathing machine and about 30 other tubes, whose purposes you couldn't begin to understand. You frowned, tears welling in your eyes, seeing as you couldn't hold your little angel, couldn't take her home.

It was your job to keep her safe and you didn't. She wasn't supposed to be born prematurely. Her lungs were supposed to be fully developed, her heart was supposed to be strong. So, how could she have been born so early, so unprepared for the world?

Spencer could see your brain spinning, thoughts ricocheting within it. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling your back to his chest, kissing you cheek. "Love, she'll be fine. The doctor said she should be home with us in a week or two. And Lee is coming today. It's all ok."

You nodded, wiping your tears away. "But Spence, it could have been so much worse."

"It could have, but it wasn't."

"She's a trained hit woman Spencer, she doesn't miss."

"She would never try to kill you, especially when you were pregnant. Besides, she shot blanks."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know that when i was getting shot at in the Georgetown parking lot. I wouldn't dive to the ground like that for no reason," you remarked, your tone snarky.

"Baby, I know," Spencer said gently, making you relax in his hold. "I didn't mean to insinuate that you did any of this on purpose."

"I'm sorry, I'm just so mad at myself."

"If you're going to be mad at anyone, be mad at the crazy woman rotting in a prison cell."

"Yeah, but she escaped before Spencer. What's to stop her from doing it again?"

"Her security level, not even a fly enters that room that we don't know about. She's never leaving that place again. And she's never coming close to you or my babies either. Over my dead body."

"I don't even want to think about you being dead, never ever say that, even if it is a figure of speech," you muttered, shaking your head frantically at the thought. Spencer nodded, kissing the top of your head before releasing you and moving to the incubator.

He reached his hand inside, Annabel, grabbing his finger immediately. Spencer grinned and looked up, his eyes meeting yours. "She's so strong, just like her mom."

-

I'm sorry for taking 9 million years to update. I hope this didn't hurt anyone too badly.