Two Existentialists | S.R.

26

I wrote this while procrastinating studying for my physics test, enjoy.

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Four weeks later you landed in Las Vegas. "I hope she likes me," you muttered, causing Spencer to groan.

"For the last time, my beautiful angel, she will love you. Trust me, no one could hate you," he assured you, kissing your hand. You nodded, taking a breath.

"I believe you Spence."

The nerves came back as you arrived at the facility. "Come here," Spencer whispered, pulling you into his arms. "Relax."

"I'm fine," you lied.

"I'm an FBI behavior profiler, Y/N. I'd know something was wrong even if I wasn't in love with you," he said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "Now, you ok?"

You nodded, kissing his cheek. "I'm always ok when I'm with you Spencer."

He smiled, walking inside, with you in tow. You entered the fifth floor, seeing Spencer light up as he saw his mom. "Spencer!" his mom said excitedly, pulling him into a hug. "I missed you, my little genius," she continued, holding his face in her hands. "You gained weight, thank god. I really thought you'd stay stick thin forever, it's that's coffee," she rambled.

You smiled, seeing where Spencer got the habit. She saw you and grinned, pushing Spencer aside. "You brought her! I'm so happy to meet you!" She said, pulling you into a hug.

"It's really nice to meet you, Mrs. Reid," you said lightly.

"It's Diana to you. You're beautiful, Spencer, you hit the jackpot with this one," she praised, throwing her arm around you. "And you're smart from what I hear?"

"Not as smart as Spencer," you replied.

"No ones as smart as him. But you seem like a good counter for him," she continued, dragging you along to the couch. You looked at Spencer who shook his head, laughing. He was right, as per usual.

"Now, Y/N, tell me, do you want kids?" Diana asked. Your smile fell as you bit your lip, not knowing how to answer. Of course you wanted kids, you wanted 3 or 4. But did Spencer? You knew he was scared about passing on the schizophrenia gene. Would he be mad if you said yes? Would he no longer love you?

Your brain went into overdrive, Spencer seeing you tense. He leaned over and grabbed your hand and kissed it. "Mom, don't induce a panic attack for her now," he reasoned.

You looked at him and sighed. Did he want kids? You hadn't had this conversation. But you'd only been dating for 6 months. It was too early for these talks.

"Spencer, I just want to know if I'll have a grandchild. Besides, her brain and yours together, your kids would cure cancer." You laughed, leaning into Spencer.

"I haven't decided yet," you lied. Diana nodded, letting go of the subject for now. A few hours later, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, returning to hear Spencer muttering something.

"Mom, I don't want to scare her away."

"Spencer, you're 28. I like her. Just do it already," she argued.

"I will eventually, I promise," he said, opening the door to see you standing there.

"Hey Spence! It's getting late, should we head to the hotel?" You asked, biting your lip. He nodded and hugged his mom goodbye. She gave you a hug too, whispering how happy she was that Spencer had found you.

"I wouldn't mind kids, especially if they're with the right person," Spencer said softly as you got into bed. You raised an eyebrow at him. He smiled and kissed your forehead.

"Neither would I, Dr. Reid," you replied, falling asleep in his arms as you'd become accustomed to.

The next day you went back and visited Diana again before saying goodbye and heading back to D.C. you groaned, knowing that this meant life was back to normal and you'd have to pick between Georgetown and MIT. And you were dreading it.

You paced in Spencer's apartment, waiting for him to get home. He had to go in to work for an emergency. You were stressed, you couldn't make up your mind. Spencer walked into the apartment, a worried look on his face.

"Spence? What happened? What's wrong?" you asked. He looked up and shook his head.

"Nothing, it's all good. Why are you pacing?"

"Decision day is approaching," you muttered.

"Y/N, baby, don't take this the wrong way, but you need to pick MIT," he said, holding your waist. You frowned, looking at him sadly.

"Why would you say that? You want me to move away, don't you?"

"Silly girl, I would love for you to stay here in D.C. but, you and I both know that won't happen."

"But Spencer, I don't want to leave you,"

"You need to pick MIT," he urged, causing you to groan.

"But WHY?" You asked, frustrated.

"Because!" He screamed, his anger instantly fading as you took a step back.** He reached for you, his eyes searching yours for fear. "Because, you've dreamed of MIT forever," he said softly.

"But Spence, that was before I met you," you countered, stepping closer, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Spencer Reid, if I could spend every day with you, it would be worth it."

"You need to pick MIT, angel. Because, if you don't, you'll regret it."

"But what if I don't regret it?"

"But if you do, you'll blame me. And I never want to be the reason you're unhappy," he said simply, kissing you with all the love he had. "I love you, and if MIT is where you need to be, then I'll fly out there every weekend."

"Spence," you began. He shushed you, his thumb over your lips.

"And if you really love it, I'll take up that teaching job. Because I'd do anything for you."

You met his eyes, yours blazoned with love. "You can't leave the FBI for me, it's your job and you love it."

"I love you more. And I'd sacrifice everything for you. Besides, it's only 4 years. You can come to DC for the summers and I can come to Boston and Providence in the winter. It'll work," he said reassuringly. You began to tear up.

"Spencer Reid, will there ever be a day you don't make me cry?" You asked, hugging him tightly. He held you close, kissing the top of your head.

"Happy tears?" He asked, titling your chin up.

"Happy tears," you reaffirmed, kissing him.