Two Existentialists | S.R.

50

You woke up to an empty bed. "Spence?" You called as you walked down the stairs. You didn't hear a response so you walked into the kitchen, seeing his keys gone. Where was he?

You picked up your phone, blinking at the screen. That couldn't be right. It was the 17th yesterday. How was it the 19th? You shook your head, probably just imagining things.

You called Spencer, his line ringing a few times before he picked up. "Hi my love, what's up?"

"Spence? Why do you sound so tired? Where are you?"

"Baby. I'm in Alaska. I've been here for 2 days. Are you ok?"

"2 days? Wait? No"

"Y/N?"Spencer asked worriedly.

You frowned, a shiver running up your spine. You clutched a kitchen knife, your back to the wall. "Spence, I don't feel safe right now. Can you come home? Please? I'm scared and I don't want to explain it over the phone because you'll think I'm crazy. Please?"you rambled.

"Ok baby, I'll catch the next flight out. You know where my gun is right?"

"Yeah," you whispered.

"Ok, go get it, there's a bullet in the chamber. Don't use it unless you need to and, no kill shots. I'm calling Will, he's off today. He'll be over in the meantime, just to stay with you."

"Thank you Spence. I'm sorry for being like this."

"Never say sorry. I love you," he replied, hanging up and leaving you to the eerie silence that was your townhouse. You stood up, gripping the knife as you went back up the stairs and opened the safe, retrieving Spencer's gun. You went back downstairs and sat next to the kitchen door, waiting for Will.

He tapped the door 3 times before using your hidden key to come in. "Y/N, it's me, please put down the gun. Spencer sent me over."

You looked up and smiled, placing the gun on the ground and standing up, going to close the front door quickly. "Thanks for coming. I'm having the weirdest week and I just didn't feel safe alone."

"Anything for family of the BAU. We're family too, at this point," he said, making you nod.

You sat down in your living room, chatting about random things for the next couple of hours. Spencer eventually got home, 8 hours later.

He rushed inside and hugged you tightly, kissing the top of your head. "I'm so sorry it took so long."

"I'm just happy you're back,"you muttered, melting into his arms, finally being able to breathe again.

"Thanks for coming Will. I owe you one."

"Anything for my son's godparents. I'll lock the door behind me," he said, waving before leaving. You waited to hear the door lock before pulling away from Spencer, pulling him by his hand into the kitchen.

You pulled out a sheet of paper. "Ok, this is going to sound insane but just hear me out. Ok?"

"Anything for you," he whispered, making a small smile appear on your lips.

"Alright. You left for Alaska 2 days ago right? The 17th?"

"No. The 16th."

"But it's the 19th."

"It was still the 18th in Alaska when you called."

"Ok, so you left on the 16th. What time?"

"11 pm. You were asleep so I wrote you a note and left."

"And have you spoken to me since then?"

"Yeah, you called me every day. But it was really short conversations. They were strange."

"Ok, I know I sounded insane on the phone. But somethings wrong." Spencer nodded, looking at you worriedly. "You left on the 16th. I have no recollection of this. I never got a note. On the 17th I woke up, went to work, stayed late, came home and fell asleep. I had a terrible nightmare inception thing where Derek called me and said you were dead and I woke up and you came home and then you attacked me and then I woke up again and you were there to comfort me. Which isn't possible if you were in Alaska. But, it gets stranger. I don't remember the 18th."

"Baby, what do you mean? Nightmare inception?  Comforting you? What?"

"I mean, I have no recollection of what happened yesterday. I had multiple insane dreams. Who knows if you comforting me was another dream. I'm so confused."

Spencer shook his head, looking at the paper with your scribbles. "This makes no sense," he muttered.** You nodded, biting your lip.

"Spence, do you think I'm going crazy?"

"No baby," he soothed. "How about we stay in for the next few days until the team gets back and then we'll take it in for them to consult."

"I don't want everyone to think I'm crazy."

"You're not crazy. We'll figure this out. Now, I'm kinda exhausted from flying and I'm sure you're exhausted from your day, so, how about we get some sleep."

You nodded and followed his up the stairs, your mind still reeling. Spencer wrapped you in his arms but you couldn't sleep, your brain obsessing over everything.

-

I woke up today, took my physics final, and then chose violence. I'm sorry.