After Dusk || Im Changkyun

25. Old Habits

Chapter Twenty Five

"Oh Choa is a renowned fashion designer, known for her own brand of luxury clothes, DI, and her work with many different organizations. She divorced her husband, an also very well known Scientist, after a marriage of 18 years and has been working up to the top since. They had one son, yet his identity was never revealed to the public."
You'd been scrolling through all of the articles about this one woman while Changkyun slept soundly beside you. You shouldn't be curious about all of this. You knew he was private about his family life, and from the looks of it, his parents got divorced right after he'd left. He'd said briefly that his parents never really got along, but he never mentioned a divorce.
He probably didn't know himself. He didn't seem to want anything to do with his family.
You leaned your head on the headboard of the bed, slouching down to your pillow while looking at Changkyun, who was still dozed off. You winced slightly at the sharp pain that shot through your head, it slightly throbbing as you stared at your phone. You shook your head, trying to ignore it but the feeling still lingered.
It was probably just because you haven't eaten in a while.
Well, a few days.
Old habits take a while to die.
And you'd be fine. You've been like this for the last two days.
He'd be mad if he found out you were looking into this. You feel like he would. He'd spent so long separating himself from them, he probably didn't want you diving into his past behind his back. Every time you even slightly mentioned anything about his childhood, he'd simply wince or try to change the subject as smoothly as he could. But you wanted to know why Changkyun had always been so quiet. You wanted to know why Changkyun ended up like Changkyun. You loved him for him, but you knew that if things were different, he wouldn't be as cold or reserved as he was now. You were curious to what could've been different.
From what June had told you from the time they were in middle school together, he was a replica of what he was now, minus the fact that he didn't look like he hated everyone on the outside. June had promised to find her yearbooks, saying that since Changkyun was in the grade below her, she didn't really know him much.
However, you did learn that he skipped a grade.
He may be an idiot but he didn't lack in his academics. He spent an entire night explaining quantum mechanics and thermodynamics to you over the phone while he was at work because you couldn't fall asleep. You swore you never talked to him while he was actually doing work.
You questioned what actually made him money.
You'd looked into his mother. As he said, she did own a luxury fashion brand. Ironically, they made some of the clothes you wore on that day. Though highly unlikely, there was a chance that Changkyun's mother was there at the show as well.
Though if you'd ran into her, Changkyun probably wouldn't have been able to get over it all that quickly. The days after, you could tell that Rena was still on his mind. You know he said that he said that he learned he didn't actually love her but they were together for three years. If both of them didn't love the other, there would've been no reason for them to have been dating for all that long.
He almost proposed for gods sake.
No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't shake that one fact out of your head.
You stared at the picture of Changkyun's mother. He hadn't ever told you her name but you didn't need it to be able to find her. Changkyun was a spitting image of her. They almost had the same face, from the nose to mouth. They were both beautiful, but there was only one thing that was different. It was his eyes.
His eyes were his father's.
You bet he hated that.
You just wanted to know what happened. Where it went wrong for him. And you know that he wouldn't tell you. You hadn't asked, but you were way too scared to.
So, you'd just have to find out for yourself.
You got up from the bed, sparing one last glance at the sleeping Changkyun, who was slowly mumbling something in his sleep, which made you smile.
You wonder what he was dreaming about.
You had to wake him up soon. He shouldn't sleep through the day or else he'll be up all night.
You still couldn't believe you saw each other for the first time in like a week and he fell asleep while you were engaging in a very important conversation with him.
You were talking about whether or not Ollie could understand what you were saying.
You hoped he didn't because Changkyun and Yuta definitely didn't have the funnest of nicknames for him.
You walked out into your living room, throwing yourself onto the couch, staring at the fridge longingly.
You wanted to eat but you had an interview tomorrow.
You could hold out for one more day.
You finally got rid of the tabs with information about both of Changkyun's parents. There was a total of 12 tabs with completely different articles and interviews.
Yet none of them knew that Changkyun was their son. You guess that they'd did a very good job at keeping his identity sealed for those sixteen years and continued to keep it even after he left them. You finally turned your phone off of Do Not Disturb, not wanting Ten to text you about his cats or Suhyun to text you about watching the same exact show for the fifteenth time.
Ironically, the only texts you had were from Suhyun. All it was a link to a certain video from Twitter.
You curiously clicked it. Suhyun only ever sent you videos of puppies running and trying to get you to put Ollie in a costume.
It was an interview. A small clip from one at least. You instinctively brought your phone closer to your face as soon as you clicked on the link, ignoring the stabbing feeling in your temples.
"Jungwoo, let's move on to a question that the people have been itching to ask you." The interviewer flipped his cue cards and Jungwoo simply nodded, his hands carefully placed on his lap. It looked like he'd taken a few photos for them, judging by his slicked up black hair and loose stripped dress shirt with a zipped shirt underneath.
"You recently finished filming for your new drama, am I correct?"
"Yes. We finished the filming for Reasons To Live in early November. It will be coming out in March. Please look forward to it." He responded with a grin, looking straight at the camera he was sat in front of. He was so formal in front of a camera when he was on his own, it was strange to watch. The interviewer adjusted his cue cards again, looking directly at Jungwoo who seemed oddly jittery for some reason.
It was something you'd learned from Yuta.
He tapped his finger on the back of his palm whenever he got nervous.
"The fans happened to notice the chemistry you showed with you and your co-star, Choi Y/N. Is there any chance that there is something more between you and her?"
Your eyes widened at the screen, your eyes instantly traveling to your room to see if Changkyun had woken up or was doing that thing where he just watched you in silence.
Sometimes it was really annoying having a mysterious vampire boyfriend.
"To keep it brief, we're close. We have many mutual friends and it led us to become very good friends very quickly. But..." he trailed off, making the interviewer lean forward in his seat and making you tilt your head confusedly.
"I did catch feelings for her."
You dropped your phone on the floor, scrambling to pick it up and looking towards the door again. It was still closed.
It was very safe to say that Changkyun was the jealous type.
You found it cute.
And you just had no one to be jealous of. It's not like he had many female friends. There was June but obviously, there was no reason for you to be jealous of her relationship with Changkyun. Unless you decided to be jealous of Jooheon and Minhyuk for getting to cuddle him while he slept when he was younger.
Or Rena, if you really decided to go that low.
You returned your attention back to your phone.
"I fell quite hard for her charms but simply played it off as me being friendly. I don't think she ever noticed."
You didn't.
"However, I knew very well that I wasn't the one for her and that she wasn't the one for me. Yet, getting over her was hard. Once I finally accepted it, I'd say I changed a bit, becoming distant from everyone, but it didn't take long for me to get over her. A friend helped me see that."
Jungwoo chuckled quietly, looking away from the camera and down at his hands.
"It was weird. I'd never really felt something like that about someone. I'd had a few middle school crushes but I don't know, she was different."
He took a deep breath, turning to the camera and smiled at it. It was a genuine Jungwoo smile.
You swore you hadn't seen one of those in a while.
"Hey, Y/N. You probably want to call me and talk to me about it all but you really don't need to. It's okay. I'm okay. Let's stay good friends, huh? I like having you to lean on when I need you. You're the best!" He threw a thumbs up at the camera, waving at it and then the clip ended.
You put your phone down, leaning back on the couch as you stared at the black screen in front of you.
In no way, shape, or form were you expecting to here that in your life.
Jungwoo likes you.
Liked you.
Suddenly all of it made sense now. Avoiding you after coming back from Italy, the held back speaking, the awkward vibes.
You were not expecting to hear that today. Or ever.
You felt bad.
There were so many signs and you just brushed them off. Maybe you could've provided some closure?
Your head still kinda hurt.
"What are you thinking about?" You threw yourself onto the ground, curling up into a ball at the sound of the deep voice beside you.
Why did floors always have to be so cold?
"I don't even know what to do. You get scared at my voice." Changkyun sighed, his voice still tired so you could assume that he had just woken up.
You hated having a mysterious vampire boyfriend.
His hair was still messy, little black spikes sticking up from his head like a little porcupine. He joined you on the ground, lying down beside you with no words said. You uncurled from your ball, lying on your back and staring silently at the ceiling above you.
You heard Changkyun's phone dinging from his pocket and he chuckled, turning on his side to face you as he told,
"Your mother enjoys texting me. Have I told you that before? She always asks me if I ate and how you're doing when you don't respond to her."
You too turned on your side, completely mortified as you looked at the giggly, sleep high Changkyun. Yet despite that, he managed to wink at you as he said,
"Or her future grandchildren."
"I'm sorry. She gets so excited about you. I've never been in a serious relationship before."
He scooched closer to you.
"I'm aware. I am in fact 'son in law.' It's no longer 'future,' I just am her son in law now." He moved his head, laying it on your arm and you giggled, wanting to get him off of you but he wouldn't budge.
"You can't sleep any longer. Might as well go into a coma." You poked his forehead, making him whine softly.
"Your mother would let me sleep. I'm her precious son in law." He breathed out, making you look at him, who was still lying on your arm. He was staring weirdly at you so you raised an eyebrow.
"You look tired." He mumbled to which you snapped,
"You're the one that looks tired." You pointed to his eyes that were slowly closing. You slid your arm out from underneath him, sitting up straight, feeling the random head rush that struck your head.
"Let me do as I want, Eggo." He lifted his head and laid it on your lap, closing his eyes and cuddling your hand as if it were a stuffed animal.
"I am tired." He complained to which you scoffed,
"You fell asleep while I was speaking and you slept for three hours." You rolled your eyes, flicking him on the forehead once again. You moved yourself, making his head crash to the floor but you were quick to slide your hand before it hit the wood.
"Why must you do this to me, Eggeles." He lifted his entire self up, throwing himself back on the couch. You giggled, watching him squirm back and forth like a vampire exposed to the light.
There was no light other than the ones from your ceiling. You shifted yourself closer to him, straightening his hair out with your hands and watching him dazily smile at the feeling.
"Your Highness, the Great Hypocrite, do you mind getting up and actually living life?" You tugged on his arm, wanting his laziness to fade so that he could actually be productive. He wasn't going to gain much from sleeping throughout the day, even if it was his first free day in a week. If he slept during the day, it wouldn't help him tomorrow.
"I swear to god, I feel like I'm trying to get my son up for school. Im Changkyun, get the hell up!" You continued to tug on his arm but he was too massive for you to even be able to get him to move an inch.
There was only one choice.
You tried getting up, but you were only barely able to get off the ground before your legs gave out on you and you completely crashed to the ground. Changkyun's eyes fluttered open, he looked at you worriedly as he asked,
"Hey, are you okay?"
You just nodded your head but he didn't seem to buy it. It happened all the time, you didn't know why he looked so shocked at your clumsy self.
You got back on your feet, walking to the kitchen so you could grab your trusty pink spatula. You made your way back to the man that was sprawled out at the bottom of your couch, his eyes closed again as he rested. You felt bad but not bad enough to show mercy. You were doing this for his own good.
"Don't make me do this, Daniel. You can just get up. You can sleep early today if you're that tired but don't sleep at... 6:33 PM." You scolded, having to look at the clock to be able to check the time.
"But, Eggo." He whined even more, kicking his legs like a toddler, still not bothering to open his eyes.
"No." You asserted loud and clear, trying to get him to move still. He continued to whine.
"Eggeles?"
"No."
"Baby?"
"No."
"Babe?"
"No."
"Babygirl?"
"No."
"Kitten?"
"No."
"Darling?"
"No."
"The love of my life?"
"No."
"Y/N."
"You can try every nickname in that little book in your head and none of them are going to work. Get up."
You hit him repeatedly with the spatula, watching him try to block you with his own hands but failing since your reflexes were far faster than yours. Eventually, after receiving quite a beating, he held his arms up in surrender, getting up as you grinned with satisfaction.
"I swear, I thought calling you by your name would work." He groaned, dragging himself over to the coffee pot and pouring himself a rather generous cup of coffee.
"You can't sweet talk me no matter how hard you try."
You placed the spatula down on the kitchen counter. He looked at you challengingly, obviously wanting to test that notion but you could see him holding himself back as he turned to your balcony.
Cute.
Changkyun closed the blinds of all the windows and you looked at him curiously. It wasn't fully dark yet. Once they were all closed, he sat down on the couch, letting Ollie, who had waddled in from one of the other rooms, jump up on his lap.
"I don't like the light." He simply stated, petting Ollie slowly.
It was safe to say that Ollie had liked him a bit more now. Well, he stopped trying to bite him at least.
"The sun is literally setting." You slapped your own face, not believing what he just said. You headed towards your coat rack, leaning your head against the wall beside it.
"You need Vitamin D." You sighed to which he shook his head.
"All I need his Vitamin U." Changkyun teased, to which Ollie swiftly barked, almost like he agreed. You glared at the both of them.
Honestly, unbelievable.
You felt a weird pit forming in your stomach, the kind of feeling that you just couldn't explain. It hurt. In a strange sort of way.
"Well, I think I actually need Vitamin D. I'm going to go take a walk or something."
The sun was barely out but you needed a smooth transition.
Changkyun jumped up, looking at you confusedly.
"Do you want me to go with you? It's getting dark. You don't look so well." He said the last part so quietly that you barely even heard. You scoffed at him, grabbing your bag that always laid on one of the chairs bedside your small dining table.
"You should go home. You have places to be tomorrow. Plus, we can't go out together."
"I don't really though, Eggo. We can find a w-"
"I am a grown woman. I can take a walk on my own." You argued, making him shut up instantly. You stole a coat from the rack, zipping it up and throwing on a random beanie that was on it too. Changkyun waddled over to you, carrying Ollie, who had fallen asleep again, in his arms.
"Take Ollie with you. Saera will pick him up and bring him to Doyoung's. Jaehyun and Jungwoo are getting bored so they want something to play with. As if living with Haechan isn't enough." You giggled. Those boys really don't need a pet. They have each other. It's basically like living in a zoo.
"Where are you going though?" He placed his hand on your arm, pulling you back as you began to leave. He peeked outside the slightly opened door, making sure that no one was there.
"Careful." He muttered, looking behind you one more time before closing the door. He turned back to you, raising an eyebrow at you, urging you to speak.
"I'll go wherever the night takes me. I'm a free soul. I haven't been free for a very long time, you know?" You smiled sadly, and you watched Changkyun's eyes soften at your words, placing Ollie on the ground. He gently flicked your forehead, resting his other head on your shoulder.
"I know, I'm not trying to hold you back. Just tell me where you're going, idiot." He rolled his eyes, bending down slightly to meet yours.
"If you get scared of anything, like your shadow, or your hair, just call me. I'll remind you that you're just being stupid and I'll even find a way to discreetly pick you up without anyone noticing. We can't have anyone knowing about us, can we?" You laughed while shaking your head.
You could ignore the vague insults just this once.
"Call me when you get back, okay?" He playfully butted his head with yours, finally letting you go and taking a step back. You caressed your forehead, glaring at the man that chuckling tenderly at you. You nodded, sparing him one last smile.
"I will, weirdo."
You went into your pocket, pulling out your mask and putting it on but before you could leave he tugged you back into the apartment and pulled down your mask. He stared at you intensely, examining your entire face and it was starting to make you a bit scared.
"Is there something on my face?"
"Are you sure you're okay, Y/N?"
That was it? He stared at you like you were some specimen just to ask you that?
"I'm just a little sleepy. It's not new, Changkyun." You removed his arm from you and walked out the door, bidding the unimpressed man goodbye.
You didn't know where you were going but you just wanted to go somewhere. You craved the fresh air. Conveniently, one of your floor mates who you did not know whatsoever was heading into the elevator so you didn't have to walk down the stairs again. Changkyun had always asked why you didn't like going down elevators on your own and you simply shrugged. You didn't know the answer.
He found it "sadly cute" and you found it "sadly inconvenient".
The sun had already completely set by the time you had it outside. The sky was pitch black, the only light coming from it was the stars that shined gently, but they were no comparison to the lights of the city, which were looking kind of blurry to you. You breathed in the air, a small smile spreading to your lips behind your mask.
Unlike your old apartment and Suhyun's apartment, this building was right at the heart of the city. As soon as you stepped outside the glass doors, you were already in the most lively part of everything around you.
You'd never been a city person but there were some things you'd learned to enjoy.
You held your head low, hoping to not meet eyes with anyone around you. You walked farther into the city, grinning as soon as you saw the large video ad of Jungwoo and Yuta playing on one of the buildings. You had zero clue what they were advertising but they sure did look good doing it.
Those were your friends.
Despite what Jungwoo said, you were definitely going to be texting him later.
You looked to your right, seeing a new store being opened right in the middle of all the designer stores. You'd never really gone into that part of the shopping center. You would go farther but you didn't feel like going too far from home. It just didn't feel right to today. Instead of shopping, you preferred eating food at the various restaurants. You wondered what was opening up this time though.
You hummed along to the song that was playing from one of the many stores around you, ignoring the quiet ringing noise that was echoing through your ears. You didn't know what song it was but it sounded quite nice.
You held your purse close to you, walking slowly until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jumped, screaming out only for someone to slap a hand over your mouth and drag you out of the crowd. You tried fighting back but their hand didn't stay over your mouth for long.
"Choi Y/N, that's you right?" The person said and you hid your face behind your hands, shaking furiously.
Changkyun was right.
You should've had him tag along.
"Stop looking so scared. Did you already forget me?" You uncovered your face, finding some familiarity in the voice that you were blindly listening to. You were met with a woman who was guiltily smiling at you.
"Jinhee?" You questioned, to which she nodded.
"I could recognize you from a mile away, Y/N." She laughed, still examining your shaken up self.
Jinhee worked at your old company. She was one of the style staff, and when you meant one you meant one of three.
You may have been the company's only money maker but they never did splurge on you.
Very obviously.
"I'm sorry for scaring you. You're getting popular and I doubt you would've been able to speak without someone recognizing your voice. Even though you're so... covered up." She gestured towards your entire outfit. You giggled, knowing that you probably looked really sketchy like this.
"I'm glad you left. You seem to be doing so much better now." Jinhee ensured, looking out to the crowd to see if anyone was listening to your conversation.
She too knew how all of this worked.
"Your old manager." She began, to which your entire heart stopped. That was the last person in this world you wanted to think about.
"Kyum, I think? I don't pay attention to the managing team."
"Kyung." You corrected, avoiding her eyes and pulling your mask up your nose even more. You suddenly were feeling oddly sick.
"He's been mentioning you a lot. I just saw him about ten minutes ago as well. I don't know, he seems to miss you or something. He was your manager for six years after all."
You nodded, your eyes darting around the large crown hopelessly, praying not to spot a larger man. Her voice started,
"Are you in a hurry? You probably are. I'll go now. It was really nice seeing you though, Y/N. Good luck!"
"No, Jinhee, wait!" You exclaimed but she'd already disappeared into the crowd. You tried running after her, but she was already gone.
It was kind of nice talking to someone you knew back then. She was one of the only nice people you had to lean on all those years ago. You weren't close, she was far older than you were and you obviously didn't have much time to speak.
You were busy getting dragged into a basement half the time.
Kinda funny, right?
You winced as the sick feeling in your stomach returned. The lights around you went hazy, everything around you just felt blurry. You rubbed your temples gently, walking as fast and as straight as you could to get back to the apartment building. You were glad you didn't stray too far away. You slapped your face gently.
You've gotta snap out of it.
You dragged yourself through the doors, not forgetting to greet the doorman despite the fact that you seriously couldn't see him very clearly.
Maybe you did need glasses.
You turned to the elevator.
You didn't want to do this.
You literally threw yourself into the elevator, hearing the receptionist calling out to you but you seriously couldn't tell what he was saying.
Come on, Y/N.
Snap the hell out of it.
You clutched onto the bars that were on the walls of the elevator, pressing a floor number, and holding yourself up in hopes of not crashing to the floor. You didn't know why you suddenly felt so weak.
The feeling of the elevator going up definitely didn't make the feeling in your stomach any better. It felt as if your entire soul was lifting out of your body and it was painful in a different sort of way.
The elevator doors opened and you burst past the person standing in front of them, not even bothering to check the floor you were on. You staggered across the hallways that were seeming to get longer and longer with every aching step that you took.
What on earth was going on with you?
You tried putting in your key, but it didn't go in. You slouched down the door, beginning to just knock on it for no reason. You clutched onto the doorknob, pulling yourself back up and yelping as the door actually opened, revealing a tall man.
"Y/N?" What you thought was Hyungwon chuckled,
"I'm confident that you're not here for us but this is Wonho's apartment. Changkyun's is three doors down. I'd think you'd know your own boyfriend's house number." His voice was strangely distant. You looked up at him and his brows instantly furrowed.
"Y/N, are you okay?" Kihyun peeked from behind the tall man. At least you thought it was Kihyun. Every single face in front of you seemed like a blur. Hyungwon grabbed your arm and pulled you inside, closing the door behind him.
"Woah, Y/N, hi. I didn't know we were having a party at my place today." Wonho's recognizable voice joked. Hyungwon's hand was still placed on your shoulder, basically dragging you across the room. You think you saw a hand hit him, to which his grip on you loosened and you dropped to the ground.
"I don't think she's okay."
"Yeah, no duh, Wonho." Kihyun snapped back, rolling his eyes at the man before his attention returned to you.
"I'll go get, Kyun."
"What help would he be?" Wonho chimed as what you thought was Hyungwon left, feeling his footsteps go in the direction go where he came from. You could tell from the vibrations. Wonho's arms wrapped around you, lifting you up like an object and placing you onto the couch. You didn't exactly have the energy to mind. Another hand went flying, but this time at the large man.
Kihyun seemed to be out for blood.
"She's not a goddamn mug. You could've helped her up normally."
"That's how I pick up you though."
"Does she look like me?"
"Well your noses are kinda-"
"Honestly, shut up!" Kihyun yelled, hitting him again but harder. He caressed his muscles but Kihyun flicked them with zero mercy, immediately turning and then bending down in front of the couch where you limply lied. He gently tapped your hand with his finger, looking up at your eyelids that were slowly drooping.
"Are you good?" He asked. You nodded at his blurred figure, trying to keep your eyes open but as each second passed everything was getting harder to comprehend.
"You sure don't look good. You were literally on my floor."
"Wonho!"
"Okay! Sorry."
You rested your hand on the arm of the couch, lifting yourself, only for your body to stagger back down. You couldn't tell if the door opened again or if you were hearing things but you tried getting up again, to which a new pair of arms softly brought you down. You eased at the familiar touch, letting your head rest weakly on their chest.
Changkyun looked at you with both disappointment and worry, laughing bitterly as he muttered,
"I knew you didn't look okay."

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Excuse this random bipolar filler chap
Also happy changkyun day!
One more thing
hey idiots
Jungwoo isn't part of the mafia and know I hate you both
They know who they are ;)