After Dusk || Im Changkyun

17. You Have Me

Chapter Seventeen

"How much do you know?"
"I know you're stalling, Eggo. You can't fool me." Changkyun pulled you closer to him, which seemed almost impossible cause it felt there was no part of your body that wasn't touching him.
"What I know makes sense but there are parts of the story that seem empty." Changkyun sighed into your hair,
"It'll feel better telling me. I'm sure of it."
You nodded slowly, still incredibly hesitant to the entire idea. You needed a moment but he'd already been holding you tightly for so long. You felt bad for making him wait for you to start spilling and you knew very well that it would be good for you, but you were scared.
You were so scared.
You couldn't believe you're telling all these people before you'd even uttered a word to Yuta. It didn't feel right at all. He should've been the first to know but he wasn't. You bit your lower lip, taking a deep breath before you started talking.
"I was still at SM, when things were starting. My younger sister, Lila, she was a trainee at my old company, EU Media."
"I didn't know you had a sister." Changkyun said quietly to which you responded,
"Most don't. I don't talk about her. I'd be surprised if I'd ever mentioned her to Doyoung or Sooyoung. Taeyong only knew about her because he saw a family picture hanging in my mother's house one time. And that was pretty recent."
You relaxed into his embrace, finally feeling comfortable.
But just on the outside.
"She was always very sickly. She has this condition. It's called pneumothorax, when air leaks into the space between your lungs and your chest wall. She's had it since she was little and it was really serious, so she was always in and out of the hospital. My father was a doctor, yes, but he didn't specialize pulmonology so there was nothing he could specifically do to help her."
The hospital became like your second home. Not only did your father work there, but your sister was there so often that you almost became part of the staff. You could navigate the entire hospital if anyone ever asked you too.
"A lot of our money went to her treatment and the other part mostly went to charity. My mother swore to donate money every month to any charity that needed it. But we still had more than enough to live. My father was a doctor after all."
You smiled, remembering your father again. You'd been doing that an awful lot here.
"When he passed, it hit us all hard. My sister was pretty young, she was 12 and I had just turned 14. My mother didn't work, but the money my dad had left us was far more than enough."
Changkyun carefully moved his hand, resting it on yours just like how you had for him not too long ago.
"When I was little, he always used to tell me that my face was made for a screen. He wanted to become an actor when he was younger, but he never had the courage to pursue that dream of his. My mother and him used to spend so much time acting out parts in dramas together, they'd always make us laugh. So, when Yuta decided to audition for SM not too long after his death, I joined him. My mother said I needed something to get my mind off of it. The idea of being an idol had never really stood out to me but I needed something to do. So, I became an SM trainee. I don't even know how I passed the audition."
You awkwardly chuckled. If you asked Yuta, you'd bet he'd still have the video. You hope he'd never show that to anyone if he did, though knowing him, he probably would.
"It was hard. It was definitely hard. But I met some of my closest friends there, so I enjoyed every moment of it, even if it meant no food for a few days. I stayed there for about two and a half years. Lila became a trainee at EU the year after I started at SM." You took a staggering breath as you began to finally get into the parts you preferred not to talk about. Changkyun noticed, beginning to draw small shapes onto the back of your softly shaking hand.
"It was normal at first. For the first year, it seemed okay. She'd train, come back, train, come back, sometimes stay a bit longer. It was at the start of her second year where I started to notice things. She wouldn't come home often and she was always holding onto her chest like how she used to whenever she would find it hard to breathe. One day, I followed her to the company without her knowing and it was just all the trainers and managers shouting at her and the other trainees for the smallest of things. When she came home that night, I confronted her about it all."
You had walked into your shared bedroom and sat her down on the lower bunk which was hers.
"She told me not to tell anyone and I stupidly agreed. It was progressively getting worse for her and I just wasn't doing anything about it. I was 16 at the time and I didn't know what to do. And then her left lung collapsed agai-"
You stopped suddenly, hesitating again. You pressed your free hand to your heart, feeling the random zap of pain that shot out from it.
"Hey, hey, take your time. We have time. Don't force it out of yourself." He began to gently stroke your hair in a comforting sort of way. You'd never really had people play with your hair but it kind of felt nice. Almost calming.
"She stayed in the hospital for another year, almost all of our money was going to her hospital fees. She wasn't getting any better, so they needed to send her out of the country. To London specifically, apparently the treatment there is far better. Our money was slowly draining from hospital bills and my mother was working two full time jobs at once. I was working about five part time while becoming a trainee and trying to find a way to leave SM and get myself into EU. I was so stupid. There was something in my 16 year old self that wanted vengeance, so I walked into the worst situation I could and I could've avoided it the entire time."
You scoffed.
"Same as my sister, the first year was completely normal. Also, I was in their acting department, so I didn't really have much to do. I spent most of time working jobs. Eventually, I ended up auditioning for a small role and I got it. It was one of the main character's younger sisters. She showed up like five times throughout the show for very short periods of time but it was enough. The company started pushing me to go for more auditions and they gave me my first and only manager while I was in that company."
You shuddered at the thought of your manager. There were no happy memories when you thought of him.
"He was the CEO's son. Apparently, he'd insisted on staying by my side. He was in his mid to late twenties when he started managing me, and he had a girlfriend, which I found surprising but obviously never said out loud. And initially, I thought he was pretty nice, he seemed chill and he'd take me to where I needed to be whenever I needed to be there. That was until I think his girlfriend left him for some reason. I don't remember the reason but it snapped something in him. He became rather... aggressive to say the least."
Changkyun's grip on your hand suddenly tightened and it almost felt like he was cutting off the blood circulation from the rest of your body to your hand.
It definitely kept them from trembling.
"It escalated fairly quickly. It went from shouting, to provoking, to touching faster than I could blink. At first, I didn't think much of it. I kind of felt bad that his girlfriend left him so I didn't mind too much. I've never stopped anyone from taking their anger out on me."
One of Changkyun's arms unwrapped itself from your back and you immediately felt the cold wind that was flowing in from the open windows. He grabbed that kiddie cup of orange and handed it to you, coaxing you to drink it. But before you could even do anything he looked down at your now shaking hands, playfully rolling his eyes at you before resting the straw at your lips.
"For an actress, you seriously can't hide those."
You slowly drank the juice, thanking Changkyun quietly to which he just nodded with a gentle smile. He took both of your hands in his, facing you and placing your intertwined hands on his lap.
"Continue."
Another deep breath.
"He used to follow me. Even when I wasn't at the company building. He found out all the places I worked at, where I lived, almost everything about my life. As time passed, he became more and more aggressive. I tried to leave, but every time I was shut down before I could even make it to management. And each time I tried, the punishments would get more severe."
"What do you mean?" He inched closer to you and you shivered at the feeling of the breeze from the open windows hitting your exposed skin. Changkyun adjusted his position unintentionally, moving so the wind would hit his back.
It's like he knew that you didn't want him to let go of your hand.
Your breath hitched and your hand instinctively made it to your heart, Changkyun's resting on top of yours. He scooted closer again, bending down slightly so that his softened eyes met your nervous ones.
"Relax." He comfortingly squeezed your hand as he tenderly chuckled,
"Your heart is racing faster than I can rap."
You scoffed.
"Bragging much?"
"Only with you, baby."
You raised an eyebrow at him, but mentally you were trying to figure out what in Gods grace had just came out of Im Changkyun's mouth. He somehow noticed.
"Get used to it."
He winked playfully but there was something in his gaze that urged you to keep going. You were getting to the uncomfortable stuff.
"First, it was not being able to eat. He'd take my food from me and make me starve, but eventually he noticed that I didn't react to it. Next, it went to making excuses so I wouldn't be able to go out with friends. Whenever I'd have plans, he'd make up a schedule I didn't have to go to and he'd keep me locked up in a room in the basement. Eventually, the belt finally came into play."
Your eyes darted to every little object in the room, avoiding the gaze of the man sitting in front of you. You were scared that you were going to break down crying if you looked into his eyes. By the way you could feel Changkyun's arms hover over different parts of you, switching every two seconds, you could tell he didn't know what to do. Eventually, his hand rested on the back of your head, moving closer to you and carefully placing your head on his chest.
"If its more comfortable to not look at me, just lay here."
You eased into the cotton fabric of his shirt, breathing out and breathing back in the scent of his cologne. Unlike most people, you never minded the smell of cologne. It didn't give you a headache if there was too much. Personally, you found it quite calming.
You'd been around way too many guys in your life.
You sighed deeply, holding onto the fabric of his shirt as you began getting into the things you really didn't want to.
"The basement room... no one would come down there. Not a lot of people knew it existed." You bitterly chuckled,
"I used to get dragged down there. He didn't care if I slipped while being pulled down the stairs or if he tugged me so hard that I wasn't even touching the ground. I'd be pushed onto this old creaky wooden chair, being held down by his thick arms. He'd pull out his belt and he'd tie me down to the chair so tightly that the leather would rub against my skin, making cuts all across my waist."
"Oh my god." Changkyun muttered, making you lift your head up slightly to see the absolutely mortified expression that was on his face.
"What?" You whispered up at him and he slowly looked down at you, eyes completely widened.
"How did you say that so casually? Do you not realize how bad that is?" He exclaimed quietly, his arm snaking around your shoulder, gently patting your back.
"Well, it was my life for so long, Changkyun. It doesn't phase me as much as it should."
"I'm so sorry." He brushed the hair that was beginning to come into your eyes and tuck it behind your ear. You shook your head.
"It's all in the past now. I'm okay. I don't have to go back there." You assured, but he didn't seem to be convinced.
"You didn't sue? You didn't get a restraining order? Nothing legal?" He continuously listed out more things and you shook your head at each thing he said.
"I didn't want to. Once I finally made it to management and made a few threats, I finally had my contract terminated. Sure, that took some legal things, but suing? Restraining? I didn't have the time for that. Plus, I didn't want to cause any more problems. I was dealing with everything on my own, so I didn't have the heart to continue to do more. I just wanted to get out as fast as I could."
Changkyun comfortingly pat your back and hid your face into his shirt again. You hadn't cried whatsoever talking to him, which surprised you quite a bit since you were bawling your eyes while you were reciting the same thing to Taeyong.
Maybe it was because you could cry in front of him, and something about crying in front of Changkyun just felt wrong.
You conscience wouldn't let you do it.
So you were suppressing your tears.
"Eggo, this is really serious. Illegal even. He could serve time in j-"
"I know. But I can't go back there alone."
"Who said you'd be doing it alone?"
His hands rested on both of your shoulders, pulling you from his chest and craning his neck down so the gap between your faces was practically non existent.
Butterflies.
"You have me, and Taeyong because I know he's been doing some stuff behind your back." He started, immediately interjecting with another comment as soon as he saw the expression of your face.
"Don't tell him I told you that."
You already had your suspicions and you knew that you couldn't stop him from doing whatever the heck he was doing.
"You'll have Yuta as soon as you tell him. Take this from a guy's point of view. He's going to be upset at first, but he's going to ignore it, okay? He's your best friend. He'd put you before him in a heart beat."
You roughly sighed.
You knew.
But you were so paranoid.
"Stop being paranoid."
You snapped your head towards Changkyun, your eyes widened as he softly chuckled, his already flushed cheeks getting redder.
"I can read you like a book, Eggo."
"Oh, shut up, Danny."
You both just sat there, laughing with each other for a bit. After a rather serious conversation, a confession, and another serious conversation. A little bit of laughter was just what you both needed. Changkyun got up from the booth, straightening out his clothes and holding a hand out for you to grab.
"We've been gone for way too long." He picked up your phone that was placed at the edge of a table. He turned it off of Do Not Disturb to uncover a whole ton of notifications. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on to see the notifications flooding in.
He slipped both of your phones into his pocket.
Fricking men's pockets.
They'll never understand how lucky they are.
He held out his hand for you and you took it without hesitation, watching as he broke out into a beaming smile. He giddily weaved his fingers through yours, swinging your intertwined hands like a child.
Maybe he was a just a little drunk.
It would explain the redness in his face. Changkyun pulled out the rental car keys from his other pocket and you immediately took them from him. He simply poured.
"There is no way you're driving. You're drunk."
"Drunk on you."
You slightly gagged hearing his line but you couldn't stop the corners of your lips tugging up.
You kinda loved it.
You could definitely get used to it.
"I can't believe we're going to die on our first day."
"First day?"
Changkyun narrowed his eyes and you just tilted your head up to meet his challenging eyes.
He wasn't that much taller than you.
"Our first day together." He pulled you out into brick streets. The street lights were shining and in the darkness the colors of the buildings seemed more vibrant.
"You're my Eggo and I'm your Mr. Annoying Hypocrite."
You choked on air.
"I should really change that contact name, shouldn't I?"
Changkyun placed a finger on his temple, thinking for a few seconds before he turned back to you with a cheeky expression.
"Mi Amore with a heart at the end."
"You know what? I think I'm gonna stick with Mr. Annoying Hypocrite. It suits you."
You rolled your eyes at him, playfully punching him in the arm. He opened the car door for you and you graciously smiled as you slid into the seat and got the car started.
He pulled out your phone from his pocket, stealing your finger and placing it onto your home button.
"What are you doing?"
He fiddled around with both of your phones as you drove through the somehow not empty roads of Milan. Despite the ungodly hours, the city was just as lively as it was in the morning.
You stopped at a red light and Changkyun put the phones in front of your face. You giggled happily as you read the contact names on both of your phones out loud.
"Baby Eggo and Danny Bear."

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Happy New Years!!
To all my lovely readers, though 2020 really did suck, there were so many bright sides and I hope all of you guys are doing well.
2021 is going to be great guys. I'm sure of it.
Let's make it better than the last! And let's do it together.
Love,
aesthetic_yoongz