After Dusk || Im Changkyun

10. Her

Chapter Ten

You looked up nervously at Changkyun, who was still  hovering over you. Being in between his arms really made you uncomfortable in a strange, different kind of way. This weird tingly feeling overcame you and you just couldn't get it to go away.
"Changkyun..." your voice trailed off when Changkyun leaned in closer, the gap between your faces slowly becoming smaller. His cheeks were flushed a bright pink, and his eyes weren't on anything but you.
You started panicking.
He couldn't be doing what you thought he was doing?
He kept on coming in closer and you physically couldn't say or do anything. It was as if your vocal cords were just cut off and your entire body was paralyzed. You closed your eyes, expecting for the worst but nothing happened. You hesitantly opened them, wincing just in case, and watched with your eyes widened as Changkyun just simply giggled and poked your cheek with his finger.
"Boop!" He exclaimed, breaking out into a fit of laughter and getting back up. You shot up, at first trying to regain your breath, and then to make sure Changkyun didn't step on his ankle which was in a cast, but he obviously wasn't in the right mind to notice.
You held onto your chest, taking a deep breath in and then another deep breath out. You patted yourself on the shoulder, something you did to calm your nerves.
Your father had taught it to you.
Changkyun handed your phone back to you with a grin and reached out for the alcohol bottle again. You swatted his hand again. He furrowed his eyebrows at you.
"Why are you stopping me?" He whined, crossing his arms and pouting. You couldn't help but crack a smile at him. This Changkyun was kind of fun to be around. Although it was very tiresome to try and keep him control, you'd be lying if you said you enjoyed seeing an actual smile on his face. He also wasn't completely either completely disregarding or paying too much attention to your life. He was sort of just living in the present and didn't seem to be thinking about.
You kind of liked that.
You unlocked your phone and texted Jooheon, telling him to come to Changkyun's apartment in like 10 minutes.
Thankfully, he showed up in 5.
"Woah." He breathed out. You watched him look from the drunk and almost asleep Changkyun leaning his head against the couch, the tired you who had been trying to stop him from hurting himself or drinking more, the countless bottles of alcohol on the table and just many more things.
"This looks chaotic."
"Yes, it is." You sighed, feeling instantly relieved as soon as Jooheon sat down next to Changkyun.
"He acts like the most hyperactive three year old. It's exhausting."
Jooheon nodded with a grin, sitting down on the ground by the other couch and pulling Changkyun's drowsy self to his chest, letting him lean his head on his shoulder.
You kind of melted right then and there.
Changkyun and Jooheon had a very cute relationship.
A delicate one from what you saw.
The kind of friendship that would last lifetimes,
but also the kind of friendship that would break with a single word.
The kind of friendship that would take a centuries worth of work to stitch together if the threads ever fell loose.
"He has the worst drunk habits, but thankfully he only drinks in certain situations. And when he does, he does this." Jooheon guilty chuckled while looking down and Changkyun, who was still sleeping on his shoulder, mumbling some incoherent words.
You got up from the ground, picking up some of the glass bottles and walking over to his kitchen where you were greeted by several more empty alcohol bottles. You gasped as you picked those up too and placed them in the glass recycling box that was beside it. He'd organized his recycling and trash very nicely.
When he said he cared about the environment that one time, he really wasn't joking.
You came back to Jooheon taking a sip of one of the bottles. You scrunched your nose at him. He just laughed quietly. He held out the bottle to you, offering with a little shrug. You hesitated.
You preferred not to drink, but what was the worst that could happen?
You slumped down next to Jooheon, carefully grabbing the bottle from him without moving the arm that Changkyun was sleeping on and took a small sip. Your entire face scrunched up as soon as you tasted it.
It was bitter.
"I don't get how people drink this stuff." You whispered, glancing at Changkyun to make sure he was still asleep before taking another sip.
"You get used to it." The corners of Jooheon's lips turned up but it was no smile, just an awkward expression.
"I guess you need something even more bitter to distract yourself from the bitter world we live in. If you can step away from it, even for just a moment, it would be a blessing."
You nodded while casually chugging the rest of the bottle.
It was unpleasant, but you had a lot of things on your mind. You reached for another bottle unintentionally and Jooheon placed his hand on your arm, chucking slightly.
"Pace yourself. You don't want to end up like him." He whispered, gesturing towards Changkyun, who was moving around a bit more.
"What if I do want to end up like him?" You looked endearingly at him. Despite fidgeting around every couple of seconds, he seemed to be at peace, like he wasn't worrying about a thing, even if it's just for a second.
Jooheon shook his head, his awkward expression turning into a heavy sigh.
"He may seem peaceful but believe me, he's n-"
"Hyung..."
You both simultaneously looked down at Changkyun's whose eyes were just barely open. His voice was raspy in an almost tiresome way and he rubbed his eyes with his hands. His eyes landed on you and you just simply froze. He looked at you and then looked back up at Jooheon.
"It's Y/N... When did Eggo get here?" His voice was clear but his self was distant. The dark look in his eyes didn't look scary, but sad in an almost pitiful way.
That was it.
He looked pitiful.
Jooheon didn't respond. He just gently tapped Changkyun on his thigh in a comforting way. Changkyun sighed before looking back up at Jooheon, who looked back down at him with an unreadable expression.
"She reminds me of her."
It took five words to make Jooheon look like he'd just lost his entire world.
"Changkyun, no. We don't t-"
"I almost missed her for a second there." Changkyun lifted his head from Jooheon's shoulder. Jooheon hovered his arms over the sides of Changkyun, in case he learned and hit his head on something.
You watched everything unfold in front of you, not realizing that you drank another bottle while watching.
You understood why people got addicted now.
It wasn't good, it was just relief.
"Every time I look at her," he said while looking at you. You were perplexed at the sudden mention of yourself. You were so very confused to what was happened but you knew very well that it wasn't your place to ask.
"Every time I look at her," Changkyun repeated,
"I remember it all. Like it was yesterday."
Jooheon was obviously struggling to think of something to say. His mouth was open but there were no words being said.
When you looked at his face you could see a resonating glimpse of guilt, and you seriously didn't know why.
"Changkyun, let's sleep." Jooheon tapped him on the shoulder and hoisted him up, throwing his arm around his shoulder and looking down to make sure his foot didn't touch the ground. They took a couple of steps before Changkyun stopped, almost making Jooheon fall forwards but he managed to steady himself. He turned back to you, pointing at the bottle in your hand.
"I may be drunk and not in the right mind but I see that your cheeks are pink so stay here." He slurred his words and wobbled from side to side, his vision directly to Jooheon struggling for less than a second and immediately tried to stop moving around by holding onto a chair that was convenient right by his arm.
"It's late and you shouldn't walk home alone. You can't drive and Jooheon hyung won't drive around this late."
He tugged on Jooheon's shirt sleeve and they walked towards Changkyun's room. You watched, obviously physically unable to argue with him.
He was right.
You were feeling a bit weird and you were too scared to walk alone like this that late at night.
He stopped one last time and pointed at the room right across from the one he was peeking out the doorway of,
"Use that one."
And he went in.
Once Changkyun was in bed, and Jooheon left his apartment, it was just you in his beautifully decorated, but alcohol filled living room. You started picking up all the bottles and placing them in his recycling bin. There were so many that you had to start stacking them up one on top of the other.
It took you a while to find his cleaning supplies and get rid of the lingering stench of alcohol out of the room. You continued to organize more of the stuff that was just lying around and you went through his fridge. He had enough ingredients to make a nice soup.
You'd almost forgotten that he was sick.
His cheeks were bright pink from what you remembered, and although that could be from his drunkenness, his fever must have contributed.
You cooked one up as quick as you could, making sure it was just as good as it always was. It was hard though. Your head was killing you since you drank for the first time in like.. forever, but you had to make the soup. It felt like it was your responsibility. The recipe was Yuta's mother's. Whenever you went next door, Yuta's mother was always making a soup and she'd brought it over to you countless times, especially when you were under the weather.
Yuta had made it for you a couple of times but he just couldn't seem to get it right, so you started making it for him instead.
You should teach Sicheng how to make it the next time you're together.
Once you finished it up, you covered it with a lid and placed it in his fridge, grabbing a napkin and a pen that was on the coffee table and writing a quick note, simply saying that there was a soup in the fridge.
It didn't feel right for you to stay.
Even if it was Changkyun that told you too, it didn't feel right to barge in with no notice.
If you walked fast enough, you could get back home in ten minutes, you'd just have to ignore your headache.
You tiptoed back to the door, slipping your shoes on and carefully opening the door, peeking in to see if Changkyun had woken up. You'd slowly closed the door and then made your way down the hallway. You didn't see anyone coming towards the elevator, not that they would at almost midnight. You sighed before making your way towards the stairwell.
You hated your stupid fear. You had it for no reason too.
Every step down the stairs felt like pain. Your head was literally killing you. You seriously made a mistake taking up Jooheon's offer. He set you up for death.
How kind of him.
You eventually made it down the stairs after taking each step with an unbelievable amount of caution.
It took you 20 minutes.
You took a deep breath of the air outside before starting your walk. It felt so much more free than the apartment even despite there being so many people.
The mood in there was rather suffocating.
The music from the clubs surrounding could be heard from the outside and the bustling sound of the city encompassed you. You liked the peace of the inside world but coming out into the great city you lived in just filled you with joy.
Most of the time.
You still got the occasional strange looks because of your clothing but it was too late for anyone to care. They all had other priorities to think about.
You held onto your forehead, pressing a finger to your temples. Your head was seriously killing you. The bright lights from all the buildings and the constant movement around you were definitely not helping.
While walking through a less crowded part of the city, you couldn't help but feel weird. Like there was someone following you, but there wasn't. You turned back.
There was no one there.
You just shrugged and turned back around. It was probably the alcohol messing with you.
You continued on your walk and you looked around you. This definitely wasn't where the apartment was. Yet, it was strangely familiar. Incredibly familiar.
You slapped yourself in the face. It wasn't hard to get from one place to another but you managed to get lost.
What a genius.
You wanted to turn back but when you looked behind you, you couldn't comprehend any of the area. Everything felt like some sort of distant memory. You continued walking forward before you heard a voice. A voice that made your entire body stop.
"Let's go out for a drink. I need it today."
Your head slowly turned to the direction it came from and your breath hitched. You placed a hand on your heart, the shallow breaths you were taking were making you feel suffocated. You saw the familiar man dressed in all black, his larger body had gotten bigger, but not of fat, but of pure muscle. Everything in you had just stopped functioning. It was as if you were reliving everything that had happened in your past, the things you wished you could forget but you knew you never could. It would stay with you forever and you would always be reminded whenever you looked at yourself. You had the scars both inside and out, and you'd never be able to get rid of them. He started turning in your direction and you just completely froze.
You made eye contact.
You ran.
You took off instantly.
You ran in the opposite direction, trying to process it all. You couldn't tell if there was anyone following behind you but you were scared to even turn around and check. You were on the verge of tears.
Suddenly, you knew where you were.
This was the street where your old company was.
You ran faster. It was getting so tiring that you couldn't even take a lasting breath, but you still ran. You made it back to the Main Street and you put your hands on your knees, trying not to just fall to the ground. Your eyes landed on a convenience store and you bolted into it. The cashier looked very confused to why you came in, panting and in pajamas, but he greeted you anyways.
You pulled out your phone, wanting to just slump down on the ground on the store and just cry for a bit, but you couldn't do that.
You looked through your most recent messages.
It would be best to call Taeyong, but he had a shoot somewhere earlier so he probably was already asleep.
You didn't have the heart to call Saera. She was probably busy and you couldn't call her out of the blue. Even if she was your manager.
Suhyun doesn't drive this late at night so she was off the list too.
Doyoung was probably in the studio working on something. You would never be able to reach him if that was the case.
Jisung doesn't even know how to drive.
You definitely couldn't call Jungwoo. You would feel bad for making him come all the way over here to drop you back at your apartment. Especially with your wonderful choice of clothing.
You had one last person.
You pressed the call button and tapped your foot, still looking over your shoulder every now and then because you were so anxious.
It took a while but they answered.
"What is it, Y/N? Why aren't you asleep?"
"Sicheng? Where's Yuta?"
"Next to me. You called?"
Oh, they were together.
Well of course they were together.
They were literally together.
"Can you come pick me up from this convenience store not too far from this place? I'm kind of drunk and I had a bit of a scare earlier"
"Scare? Who? What? When? Where? How?" You heard Yuta exclaim, even catching the quiet yelp from Sicheng because of how loud Yuta's voice became.
"That's not important. Can you please come?" You asked. The sound of the bells ringing at the front of the store scared the heck out of you. You looked up at the mirror that was directed towards the door.
A larger man in an all black outfit.
You ended the call in panic, not being able to process what Yuta had said prior. You couldn't tell who the man was but weren't going to take any chances.
You couldn't run into him.
You'd die before you got to that point.
You started inching away from the aisle that you were standing in, being weary of anything that moves or anything that looked like it was about to move.
You didn't hear the cashier's words because you bolted out the door, running straight into a dark alleyway that was beside the store. You panted heavily, sweat forming on your forehead and your hands.
Terrified was an understatement to what you were.
You placed a hand on your heart, feeling the fast rate that it was beating at. You sighed, trying to regain your breath and very aggressively patting yourself on the shoulders.
You were good now.
That was until you heard footsteps nearing the alleyway. You started walking backwards while facing the entrance to the alleyway, but your back hit a brick wall, making you jump in fright.
It was a dead end.
There was nowhere you could go.
You anxiously played with your hair, gritting your teeth and closing your eyes tightly.
You couldn't go back with him.
There was no way on earth you could go back with him.
It would be over for you.
You covered your eyes with your hands, even squeezing them shut and feeling the tears brim your eyelids and feeling the stinging sensation of the salty tears.
The footsteps became louder and you froze.
There was nothing you could do.
You were stuck here.
You were completely and utterly done for.
"Y/N? What are you doing here?"
You slowly removed your hands from eyes and cautiously opened them.
It was Sicheng.
You ran over to him, the tears slowly streaming down your face but he didn't notice. You instantly wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your head in his chest, making him falter due to the impact. He just gently tapped your head.
"Did you miss me that much?" He chuckled, resting a hand on your shoulder.
"Yu! I found her!" He shouted. The sound of fast paced footsteps became clear to your ears and you heard the shallow breaths from Yuta.
"Oh my god, Y/N! You literally scared the heck out of me."
You didn't move your head from Sicheng's chest. You just hid it there, trying to control your tears.
You could sense Yuta bending down to your level and leaning in closer to you.
"Are you crying?"
You pulled away from Sicheng, wiping your eyes with your hands and instantly smiling.
"No, not at all. Just practicing- for you know... my drama! I need to get good at crying on the spot."
Yuta crossed his arms at his chest and cocked his hip slightly.
"Wasn't filming postponed for the next three weeks?"
You laughed awkwardly, trying not play with the hem of your shirt because you knew very well that Yuta would notice.
"It never hurts to practice." You smiled before tip toeing to throw your arms over both their shoulders, pretending that nothing had ever happened.
They were both way too tall for you.
"Yes, pipsqueak. You can totally reach us."
"Who are you calling pipsqueak? I'm at the average height for a female."
"Alrighty, pipsqueak."
You rolled your eyes at Sicheng.
You seriously couldn't with him sometimes.
Yuta opened the door of his car for you and you slid in. Yuta took his place in the drivers seat and Sicheng was beside him in the passenger seat.
"Don't go drinking at Changkyun's house again or I will personally drive there and beat you with a ladle."  Yuta scolded while pulling out of the place where he had parked. You were taken slightly aback but you didn't even have to question it because Yuta answered the question in your head a couple seconds after.
"I called Jooheon. He filled me in."
"Did you just happen to get all of their numbers or..?"
"We're kind of friends? Old friends? Friends I haven't been in touch with for a while."
You simply nodded. Yuta knew a lot of people due to his connections. He worked at the biggest entertainment company in the entire company. He could get in contact with anyone whenever he wished. You loved having a famous best friend, especially since you knew him before he was famous.
You bopped along to the late night music that was playing on the radio. Since it was so late, the only songs that played were slow and lofi songs. The kind you'd here playing in the elevator of a fancy hotel, not that you'd been in one but you'd watched your fair share of movies.
"Oh yeah, Peachy." Yuta chimed in after staying silent for a while. You hummed in response.
"While looking around for you, I bumped into your old manager while leaving the convenience store." Yuta gently tapped the steering wheel alongside the beat of the music. He stopped at a red light before he uttered his next words.
"I'm going to be honest with you since you left that company. I never liked him. He seemed like a fake 24/7 and it made me uncomfortable whenever you were around him. I never liked that dude."

•—•

You woke up to the sound of a text message. You groaned as you cluelessly slammed your hand around your pillow until you touched the metal back of your phone.
You rubbed your eyes, instantly being hit by a surge of pain to your head. You didn't remember coming back into the apartment last night. Your eyes finally adjusted to the light of your room and you looked at your phone. It was only 8:00 AM.
You stopped getting distracted and read the text.

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
You left? You shouldn't have, it was late and you looked like you just walked out of a mental hospital.

Wow. What a wonderful way to start your day. But to be honest, he wasn't half wrong. You were walking around in pajamas in the middle of a crowded city square. You probably did look insane to all the innocent bystanders.

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
Use your mind for once, Eggo. Maybe then you'll be able to reach my level of intelligence.

Y/N <3
You were the one that got blackout drunk last night.

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
That decision was very intentional. You on the other hand drank without any plan. Therefore, I win.

Y/N <3
WinWin

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
Was that necessary?

Y/N <3
Yes.

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
Go back to the psych ward.

Y/N <3
Go back to the hellhole you crawled out of

Y/N <3
I'm sorry that sounded mean

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
You can't even insult me. That's just pathetic, Eggo.

Y/N <3
Shut up

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
Happily

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
Oh wait. One more thing.

MR. ANNOYING HYPOCRITE
Thanks for the soup. It was good.

So he did have a heart.
Every now and then when a slight but of, you know... human comes out of Changkyun, it really does startle you. You didn't think he'd be capable of showing kindness to other people.
You almost felt proud of him.
And you'd be lying if you said that his text didn't make you smile. So hard that your cheeks were starting to hurt.
You jumped out of bed with a wide grin on your face.
You were going to make sure that today was going to be a good day.
Even if you got hit by a car, you're going to make it a good day.

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Teehee
That's all I'm going to say
Teehee