Charlie (UNREVISED)

Chapter 30

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***
Tonight, I can not sleep for the life of me. My body is flushed with such a sense of happiness and fluffiness. I have never felt so excited before. I did not think that at some point in my life I would be excited to go to school tomorrow.

I'm so restless. My lips still feel like they're on fire, and my body still feels as though i'm being touched by warm hands. I've never been through this before. Is this what having a crush feels like? Is this what it feels like to have someone you like a lot?

What is going to happen tomorrow? What will change between us? There's just so much to think about!

But I find my smile slowly growing dim when I realize that Angel might not be comfortable with showing affection in public. I remember reading some books and research papers and magazines about those subjects. I remember reading about how hard it is to be gay, or to like the same gender while in high school.

While the opinions of those that mean nothing to me, don't really matter, it isn't going to be the same for everyone. The opinions of others might mean a lot to Angel.

I turn to my phone, not being able to be patient and wait until tomorrow to ask.

Charlie
Are you up?

Angel
Yes :)

Charlie
Can I ask you something?

Angel
Of course anything

I hesitate a bit more, my frown now deep on my face as I try to figure out how to phrase this.

Charlie
Are you... comfortable with people knowing about us?

I waited for a couple seconds too long. Angel doesn't seem to be responding to me immediately like he usually does. The three bubbles at the bottom of my phone screen are showing up, but they keep disappearing.

To be completely honest, i'm not even sure myself if I would be comfortable with people knowing. With all the crap that is going on with the cheerleaders and all the spectators we call students, others knowing about our relationship could make things even harder.

Especially with Leah still trying to steal Angel's attention. Who knows how she will react when she gets the news. Gosh! Even our friends dont know yet!

I stop myself from biting my entire fingernail away, taking a deep breath as my phone vibrates.

Angel
Are you?

I stare at those two words, wondering why it took him so long to send them.

Charlie
I don't know. I think we should at least tell our friends, but with all that's going on in school right it, it might put us in more danger if the whole school were to know.

Angel
I agree.

I don't really know how to respond to that, watching as the bubbles appear again.

Angel
I mean dont get me wrong, i want to publicly be with you, a lot. But to me, those highschoolers dont mean enough to me. They arent important enough to even think about right now, i just want to enjoy my time with you without distractions.

When I still don't respond, he continues.

Angel
Like, they dont deserve to know we're together if that makes sense. At the same time, i'm still going to take you out on dates and stuff. If they find out, they find out. That's what i mean. I don't want to make a "school outing" that just doesnt sit right with me. I want to publicly show you affection out in the open world, and if some students find out that way, oh well.