𝘅𝘅𝘃𝗶. 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 "i hate you. i hate you. i hate you."
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AFTER THE CROWD HAD MOSTLY LEFT, our little group lingered behind as it was nearly routine for us to do so. I was quite literally itching to get out, no longer wanting to be in the cold rink where I normally would find solace. I walked behind Madi and Laura while we made our ways down the stairs of the bleachers, half of the team already in the locker room. The girls were already ways ahead of me which caused me to pick up my pace as they entered the open door to the box.
Unfortunately, Kenny and Dean had already left for the locker room, so I was left standing awkwardly by the door. I didn't want to go over to Averman, who was still here, because I wanted him and Madi to spend as much time together as they could seeing as her presence lit up his entire being. Laura was talking to Connie and Julie, and I didn't want to interrupt so I stood away from everybody, isolated.
I gripped the sleeves of my top tightly as my arms wrapped tightly around my body, making my body smaller and almost as if I were protecting myself from something. Was I? Possibly. Seeing as I wasn't going to be talking to anyone, I moved towards Laura to tell her I was going to go.
"I'm leaving, I'll be in the dorm." I said quietly, hovering by her side. She turned towards me, her brow furrowed and confusion prominent; a silent question in her eyes that I replied with a shrug. Connie had a questioning look as well, as if she was analyzing me to see what was wrong. Reluctantly, I smiled to prove I was fine, nothing was the matter.
"You're always up in there nowadays," Laura told me while enveloping me in a warm hug, "but I'll see you later Ren. Don't do anything stupid." We both laughed at her last statement before I waved goodbye to Connie and turned to do the same to Madi and Averman. I glanced at Adam, who was also still here, finding that he looked away as soon as I looked at him. With a roll of my eyes, I walked out of the rink.
It's as if we were back at square one, where we began when this trip started. Except it was different in a way? We didn't speak, that was the same, and we avoided each other again. But instead of pure hatred and fury when we looked at each other, like before, something changed. Something changed and I hated it because I couldn't figure out what it was, but I know that I didn't feel the same way I did at the beginning of the month. Why couldn't I figure it out!
And as it usually was whenever I got lost in my thoughts, I traveled far in a short amount of time. It's a wonder how quickly I could walk when I wasn't paying attention; to be honest, I probably walk faster then than if I watched what was happening around me. Just as I was about to dive seemingly deep into another wormhole of my mind, I felt a cold hand wrap around my wrist.
This caused me to spin around, my immediate reaction to try and get my wrist out of the grip. Before I even looked up, I was squirming for the person to let go of me because it made me feel trapped. When I was freed, I took a few steps back, clutching my wrist to my chest to see Adam standing in front of me. There was a bag haphazardly swung over his shoulder, as if he left in a hurry for something. But his bag wasn't one that he would usually carry for a game, one that would be filled with pads and skates and other things. The way it was held was both gentle, but clasped desperately.
