Obsidian & Bronze {Fred Weasley}

3. Memory

I knew I had hurt him. I hadn't mean what I said, not entirely anyway. It's just hard to not feel that way sometimes.

"You just want him here so you can have the real thing back. I'm not good enough as his replacement anymore, I filled that void for a little while but it seems it's no longer enough"

It's just hard not to feel, not wanted.

I suppose when I said it, I didn't know the extent of it. I wasn't aware just how deep the waters ran. You see for me, I was shutting out a man I never knew. For Remus, well he had lost his soulmate. But as I said, I didn't know that, not yet.

~~~~~

24th December 1977

I watched him for a while, as I often did in the early hours of the morning. His long dark hair, so silky and soft that I often wished I could run my hands through it for hours, framed his defined features so well. His icy grey eyes so perfect as the warm morning sun settled within them, bringing attention to his beautifully long lashes.

I could be entranced at the very sight of him for hours, never looking away, simply finding all means of contentment within his expression.

We would often sit like this, just before the others woke up. My head gently resting into his chest as he stared off out the window, allowing mother nature to illuminate his heavenly features.

That soft and tender smile of his that silently appreciated my presence was everything, he was everything. I would never realise how lucky I was that I got to spend time with him like this, not until it was too late anyway.

"What are you thinking about Moony?" He said in that charmingly husky voice of his, as he looked down at me, his eyes crinkling around the sides slightly.

"You" I replied honestly and he gave an audible hum of gratification in response.

"We should wake up the others and head to breakfast" He suggested, as he shifted my body carefully onto the sofa from his chest and began to stand up, making his way from the common room over to our dorm.

Once he was out of sight my heart seemed to ache for him. My body felt at a loss, as though a part of me was missing, a part of me was always missing when he was gone. Maybe not missing, broken perhaps.

I closed my eyes gently and dropped my head back in an attempt to envision his handsome countenance within my mind once again.

I couldn't bring myself to say it, nor had I even brought myself to admit it, but I knew when he left it was far more deep rooted than the simple task of missing a friend. This was something else. Something I had known for a long time and wasn't quite ready to say out loud.

I love Sirius Black. And I think he loves me too.

"Oi Mooney? Earth to Remus" I was pulled out of my trance by the deep voice of a certain James Potter waving his arms frantically in front of my face.

"Shit sorry, yeah I'm coming" I frantically replied as I hauled myself up and proceeded to follow James and Sirius out the common room.

"Where's Wormtail?" I questioned as we made our way to breakfast, passing Marlene and Dorcas on our way through, Mckinnon flashing Sirius a flirtatious smile as we passed. God, I hated that smile.

"Been threatened my McGonagall again, if he doesn't complete extra Transfiguration studies he gonna fail that class" James huffed "Peter must be the only animagus in the fucking world that manages to fail transfig"

"Bloody git" Sirius chuckled in response. That encompassing laugh of his was far too intoxicating for me to handle at this hour. I nodded in response to James but kept my eyes transfixed on Sirius as we took our seats in the hall.