Obsidian & Bronze {Fred Weasley}

12. Saying goodbye

(A/N) TW: Hey, I just wanted to note that this chapter contains continuous mentions of sensitive topics, like death, and may be triggering for some readers. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy the chapter <3

November 1st 1981

It all happened so fast. I couldn't date any of it, even if I tried. The weeks surrounding were just hazy blurs of muffled cries, a disorienting symphony of uncertainty.

But that day. That day was as clear as broad daylight, and burnt just the same.

I awoke the morning of November 1st with a bleeding pain stabbing away at my chest, I wasn't injured, just broken. I fairly quickly acknowledged the destabilizing grief I was drowning in, there was no denying my detrimental state, what good would that do?

The waves of grief fluctuated throughout the night, initially so forceful and agonzing, although occasionally a gentle memory would weave its way through the darkness and momentarily I wouldn't feel so gut-wrenchingly numb.

I had lost him, and I had lost her too.

Somehow, it had never quite occurred to me that in this war we called life the potential to lose each other was one worth acknowledging. But it soon became clear it was a reality I would have to adapt as my own, as in two short days, five somehow became one.

I had been waiting for him, waiting all night in fact. And as the deep blue canvas once alive with raw energy slowly melted away into a burnt orange sunrise, Sirius was still not back.

His words from the night before still prominent and ringing through my ears, their sounds bouncing off the hollow walls of my otherwise empty head.

"It wasn't me" He screamed through gut-wrenching sobs as his body violently convulsed on the floor, "Please Mooney, believe me, I promise, please Mooney. Please" He continuously begged, sobbing all the while, the sounds of which so scarring and raw, it would be something I would never know how to escape in the years to come.

He had since collapsed into my arms, his shaking body pressed tightly into my chest as we both sobbed uncontrollably, each of our bodies aching with a torcherous burn. Burning for one another, burning for James, burning for Lily.

"I know Pads, I know" I cried, my voice so brittle and raw. I stroked his hair, desperate for a sense of familiarity, an indication of home, but nothing came, it never would.

And since then Sirius had left, initially to find Peter, and I was left in the same position as when he left me, my body limp and lifeless, so drained of all emotion as I laid helplessly on the floor, my eyes transfixed to the wall ahead.

I couldn't make any sense of it, I couldn't seem to make sense of anything.

What on earth had Peter got himself into? Had he really done what I thought he had?

That wasn't the boy I knew. The charismatic, carefree, jokey boy I had associated myself with those past years had become nothing but a distant memory. Maybe I didn't know him the way I thought I did.

The night had seeped into day and I was now playing a dangerously agonising waiting game.

Peter had 'coincidentally' disappeared after the news of the unimaginable was delivered to Sirius and I, by McGonagall and Dumbledore the night before.

Dumbledore stated he didn't plan on staying long, but he did return, and when he did, late last night, he returned in possession of the last thing I wanted to hear.

"The ministry have taken Sirius into custody" He spoke gently, his voice full of sorrow as he began conveying the news. "Peter, his finger was found in Godric's Hollow, and they are unaware of the change in secret keeper, there isn't much proof that Sirius didn't reveal James and Lily's location to Voldemort or hurt Peter and well..." He trailed off slightly and broke his eye contact with me.