Obsidian & Bronze {Fred Weasley}

49. The Goodbye

6 months later

Have you ever read a book, one that captivates you, where the ending is so predictable that it almost becomes unnecessary to even bother finishing it? Although suddenly the narrative changes, becomes unclear, the storylines blurs and the focus is deranged.

Except you have the ending, the puzzle pieces, in the tips of your fingers, the words to connect the dots coating the pages just a flick away. And eventually, that feeling of loss, of disconnect, pushes you to succumb to the urge to read ahead, to ensure it ends okay, that the darkness clears and the path is visible once again.

I always hated that. That in a fictional world, regardless of the trials and tribulations that may arise, the ending is always there to comfort you, to remind you what you are working for, and yet reality differs so drastically.

There is no proof that the work you put in now will give what it took, there is no guarantee that the darkness will clear, nor may you ever return to the path in which you once wandered.

So had I been told, almost three years prior to today, back to when I sat at my kitchen table, a mound of pancakes and juice in the centre, as Remus handed me my mothers wand and vintage camera, that I would be here, now, no longer so broken, nor so lost, I would have scrambled to flick towards these pages, to know that what I was doing would reward that way it has.

I had all the final pieces, the broken ones, the whole ones, the ones I found along the way. I was certain there was nothing more needed to complete the picture. So why was I having such a struggle piecing it all together?

"Are you okay? You've seemed space out these past few days" Fred whispered, placing a gentle kiss where the slope of my neck meets my shoulder blade, his lips warm and soft, his hands ghosting my waist as he secured me into my dress, adjusting the straps slightly before resting his chin on my shoulder.

We looked into the mirror for a moment, his hands now resting on my upper arms, studying each of our reflections, the way the blue silk of the gown hugged my waist, the white flower attached to his lapel, the way his frame so easily melted into mine.

Of course I was okay. It was my dad's wedding day. And yet that feeling, the one I spent each day of the past six months trying to suppress was still nagging away at me, clawing at my chest and making it hard to breathe.

I was leaving for New York in eight weeks. And nobody knew.

"Of course I'm okay, Freddie" I smiled up at him, really looking at him this time, not through the mirror in front of us, absorbing the way his eyes bored into mine, holding onto it, forever wishing I could bottle it up and tuck it into my pocket, clutching onto it for all eternity.

"Good" He whispered, placing a soft and delicate kiss just below my ear, electing a small and almost silent whimper to fall from my lips, "Are you ready?"

I nodded, unsure whether the response that was fighting to get out would be one I could handle, or one Fred could handle. But it was there, on the tip of my tongue, the words I had been meaning to say for months, I could taste them, as bitter as cheap liquor, and yet as sweet as honey. But then the music began to play, and I had no choice but to swallow it down once again.

We walked, it was easy, his arm linked with mine, Sirius and Remus grinning up at me from the end of the aisle, their eyes speaking a thousand words. An indescribable guilt drowning all other emotion.

I studied the flowers, the creamy silk of Lilies, of course they were Lilies, what else would they be? The way their milky petals melted into the sleek glass vases posted at each row reminding me of the night sky, a spill of stars, a fresh open canvas.