Summer Nightfalls (Completed) [R18]

20 : Swab Test

Ivana

Still fighting for his life, Jed cannot verbally tell me what he feels but I know that he's hurting. Ramdam ko kung paano tumingin sa akin si Luigi habang nakahawak ako sa kamay ni Jed. He's busy reading Jed's chart. It was as if he's also hurting and cannot tell it directly to me. Ano ba dapat ang kailangan kong gawin para maitama ko lahat ng ito? I am trapped in a situation where breathing is forbidden.

I wanted to give up. I wanted to just let it all go away. Ang sakit na. Ako iyung nagkamali pero ako parin iyung nasasaktan dahil sa ginawa ko. I hold Jed's hand. I tell him I love him but I just fucked my ex last night. The lies, the brutality of the truth and the reality of what is truly happening, I am not in a movie scene nor in a romance novel. Everything is real, everything is not a dream. Luigi ordered new medication and treatment for Jed. I cannot oppose because I don't any other choice but to let him. I believe in his wisdom, I trust in him when it comes to this field.

It was already lunch time when I've decided to eat out. May canteen ang ospital at dun madalas kumakain ang mga nurses. I ought to eat there. Bakas parin ang mga pantal ng mga halik ni Luigi sa leeg ko kaya hindi ko magawang mahubad iyung doctor's coat ko. Some of my cointerns don't talk to me anymore. Hindi ako bulag at hindi ako bingi. I am the talk of the hospital but in secret.

" Tara na Doc!" Aya sa akin ni Chin. Lunch break din niya. Sa nurses station ay nakita ko si Luigi na nandun ag mukhang may hinihintay. I did not bother looking at him. It was as if everything went cold after what happened last night. Hindi na iyun mauulit pa.

Siniko ako ni Chin

" Tahimik natin ngayon ah." Wika sa akin ni Chin.

" Di mo kinausap?" Tanong niya. Umiling ako. I don't have anything to tell him.

" Kanina pa nakabantay si Doc sa 'yo. Pagkatapos ng OR niya, sa ward agad dumiretso" She updated me. Umiling ako.

" Masmabuti na iyung ganito, Chin. Ayokong palalain pa ang lahat." I answered truthfully.

Huminga siya ng malalim.

" Huwag mo ng pansinin iyung mga chismis sa tabi tabi. Hindi mo maiiwasan iyon lalo na't sikat talaga sa ospital si Doc Momtenegro." Wika niya sa akin.

Days had passed, Jed's condition got better and better each day. Nakikita ko iyung pagbabago sa kalagayan niya. Doc Montenegro was the one who headed Jed's case. Chemotherapy was started. His body adjusted alot and fought hard. Atleast now, he is able to speak, and sit down. Tinanggal na iyung tubo sa bibig ni Jed. I know he's fighting. Wala na rin siyang seizure episodes. So far he's prognosis is good. A miracle is what best describes his prognosis. From GCS 9 to GCS 15.

Hindi ko na namamalayan ang paglipas ng tatlong buwan. One week more and Doc Ibarra and doctora Ibarra would come back from a long vacation. That means, Doc Montenegro would then leave and go back to the States.

It has been more that a month of not talking to him after what happened. Hindi ako manhid para hindi mahalata ang mga pasimpleng panliligaw na ginagawa niya. He brings me flowers. He brings me food and snacks. He texts me all the times but I don't answer to a any of it. I completely ignored him. I rely on Jed's chart when it comes to communicating with him regarding Jed's condition. Palagi kong binabasa ang mga update niya sa doctor's order.

There are a lot of incidence that Doc Montenegro would start a conversation but I declined him. Most of the times, he traps me in the elevator just so we would talk. But I don't say a word. It's the worst thing to do but I need to do it. Nakakabastos kung tutuusin pero lahat iyon ginawa ko dahil gusto kong itama ang mali. It's the only way to do so. One month. I've done it for one month. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ko iyon nakayanan.