Summer Nightfalls (Completed) [R18]

28 : Blood GS/CS

Ivana

Naabutan ko si Jed na umiinom. Hawak hawak niya sa kaniyang kanang kamay iyung bote ng alak habang nakaupo sa baba ng paanan ng kama. Nilapitan ko ito at maingat na inalis sa kaniyang pagkakahawak iyung bote ng alak. I cupped his cheeks. His eyes were so red from unshed tears. He took back the bottle of wine in his hand.

" I'm sorry" I whispered as I cried in front of him. Pinunasan ko iyung mga luha pumapatak mula sa kaniyang mga mata at niyakap siya ng mahigpit.

" Patawarin mo ako" Bulong ko.

" Ilang beses Ivana?" Tanong niya. His eyes were focused on the wall.

" Huwag na nating balikan pa, Jed" I told him ngunit umiling lang ito.

" Nirespeto kita Ivana. I never touched you because you told me you're not ready. And yet you offered yourself to him. How many times did you fuck him Ivana?" Napapikit ako sa naging tugon niya.

" Hindi ko na mabilang, Jed. Please. Let's not talk about it anymore. Wala na kami. I've already permanently ended everything between us" I told him.

" Why Ivana. Kung mahal mo ko, why did you it?" Ramdam ko ang sobrang sakit ng loob niya.

" Because that's the only way he would operate on you, Jed. Luigi will never do the operation. Nagmakaawa ako. At iyun ang kapalit" I wiped my tears. Nakita ko kung paano humigpit ang hawak niya sa bote ng alak.

His face was now void with no emotion.

" Fuck it!" He punched the floor. Nagulat pa ako ngunit niyakap ko lang siya at pinigilang gawin iyon muli.

" It's done Jed. We cannot bring back what has happened. At tanggap ko kung hindi mo na ako mapapatawad pa" I wiped his tears. Umiling siya.

" I will not give up on us, Ivana. I will fight for this feeling I have for you." He muttered.

He pulled me closer and kissed me deeply. Unahan ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko dahil iyung nararamdaman ko ngayon ay halos hindi ko maipaliwanag. It felt like I'm cheating. Dahil literal na si Luigi ang nasa isip ko.

How can I unlove Doctor Montenegro? I need to get over him. Ilang taon na Ivana. Ilang taon na? Bakit ba hindi ko magawang tuluyang kalimutan siya? Bakit ba ang hirap niyang kalimutan. He unbuttoned my shirt but I took the courage to stop him.

Hindi ko kaya. Maslalo akong napahikbi.

" Jed, you need to rest" I whispered. I saw him look away. Ni minsan ay walang nangyari sa amin ni Jed. Even kissing. We don't usually do it. We were never intimate.

I assisted him to bed. Inayos ko ang pagkakahiga niya dahil sobra itong lasing. I cannot see him like this.

I never thought that loving would be like this. Napakasakit sobra. Bumabalik ulit iyung sakit na naramdaman ko nung iniwan niya ako.

Nakayakap lamang si Jed sa akin habang natutulog. Hinayaan ko siya dahil kung aalis ako. Magigising lang ito.

Pasado alas nuwebe na ako ng gabi nakakuha ng tiyempo upang makaalis sa pagkakayakap niya sa akin. Ibinilin ko siya sa kaniyang mama bago ako umalis.

My heart is so heavy. Sobra. Dahil hanggang ngayon, it's Luigi's cries that bothers me. He might be hurting right now. I prayed for his safety. He is a risky driver. And I cannot afford him to drive while intoxicated.

Nang makauwi ako ay duon ko binuhos lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman. I was okay. I was fine. Not until he came back. But despite everything, alam ng isip ko kung gaano kasaya ang puso ko ng bumalik siya.