Amour - A Jemily Fanfic

Chapter 12...

Emily's POV...

I back away from the coffin, opening my mouth to scream out for someone, for anyone to help me, but nothing comes out. No one's coming and I just watch – suddenly stuck in place – as the coffin slams closed with a bang.

Where's the body?

There's a light brush against my neck that lingers for just a second before tough fingers wrap around it. The grip tightens, blocking off my airways. They squeeze so tightly that I start to believe the fingers will push straight through.

I struggle – desperately trying to pull the cold dead hands from around my throat – but to no avail, if anything it just secures a firmer grip.

I feel the cold breath against my face, "Your fault"

I wake up with a star, coated in a layer of sweat. My hands clutch at my throat, While I drag as much air into my lungs as possible; it still feels like the fingers are digging into my throat.

I leap out of bed and land on my duvet, which is in a tangled heap on the floor - no wonder I feel so cold.

My alarm clock says it's nearly 5 am, but I'm suddenly wide awake so there's no way I'm getting back to sleep now. I decide to just go for a shower and get ready for the day, we probably won't even have a case today, and I'm seeing Sydney after work so that's a bonus.

Yesterday I told Agent Hotchner, I mean Hotch – It's weird to call him that even though he told me to – that I'm coming back in today. I really can't stay cooped up in my apartment any longer.

The last few days have been a complete blur for me.

I went straight home after I'd spoken to Rossi, not even having time to think about what had happened between me and JJ in that dark office. I packed a small suitcase that night and flew the next morning.

Alex's parents offered for me to stay with them since I had to fly in, but I opted for a cheap hotel room instead; I told them I'd already booked it but in reality, it would be way too weird to stay in that house with them. He hasn't lived there for years, but it's a big house and I doubt they made him clear out all of his stuff when he left for college.

It was a really lovely service: his mother gave the eulogy, and they didn't have us saying prayers or singing hymns – Alex would never have wanted that. In fact, I don't know if he'd have even wanted a funeral, he would have told us to stop being sad and go and live our lives. I smile at the thought.

Instead, his girlfriend and a few of his other friends said some kind words about him, a few guys even sang a slow song that they'd written with him and never gotten to play. I could never see Alex in a band, but clearly, he was in one. He had this whole other world that I wasn't a part of and that I never really made the effort to be a part of.

My heart broke for his girlfriend; I think her name is Veronica? I don't know much about her but I know that he loved her – he would tell me all the time before he stopped sending his letters. She was sat right at the front, but I could still hear her sobs from the very back. We've never met before, and I didn't think introducing myself at his funeral was the best idea.

After the service, I spoke to his parents and a few old friends – they all spoke highly of me, said that I was an amazing friend to Alex. Tears pricked in my eyes every time someone told me how much he loved me – I try to hear Sydney and Rossi's voice in my head telling me not to blame myself, but it's hard when it's partly true.

I didn't let myself cry in front of everyone, and I left early.

I flew home the day after the funeral, his family were hosting a small get together at their house but I couldn't stomach it – so, I made up a lie about the BAU needing me back in Virginia for an urgent case.