mine//haikyuu suna rintaro

C9

TW: fat-shaming; burning; thoughts about death 

Suna's POV:

"Smile" Y/N said.

I didn't realize I was smiling before. But now that I did, it had to go away. Why was I talking to her?

I despised Y/N. Hated her since I saw her again last year.

~ 

It was the beginning of freshman year of high school, when she had been there for me.

When I was a high schooler, I didn't look like what I do now. I know that much about myself. I was called a girl, because my hair was long, and since I was overweight, my chest made it look slightly as if I had breasts. Since my parents were poor, I could only wear my older brother's hand-me-downs, and those were two sizes too small for me. I was in hell from late elementary to early high school thanks to my constant tormentors. Two of them I don't remember anymore, but one of them, the trio's leader, was Tōru Oikawa.

My high school life wasn't the happiest.

My dad loved to smoke, and he always had an extra pack on him. It couldn't hurt him if I took a box.

I had never smoked before then. But I had no friends to stop me. I had had enough of trying to look out for myself.

They picked on me because I didn't have any motivation to tell anyone.

No one would care.

After school one day, I had gone to a classroom that I thought was abandoned. I wanted to try a cigarette since my mom said that the house was being torn down that day. It was purely out of stress that I wanted one. We were going to be staying with extended family. 

That meant more comments about my weight from family members I didn't care about.

When I walked in, I saw the three boys in there already, I was about to leave when Oikawa said,

"No no no! Stay with us! I see what you're trying to hide in your hand there."

I looked at my hand holding the box of cigarettes.

"We want to try one too." Said one of the boys with hair that reminded me of an onion.

I look at my box of cigarettes then at the three guys.

Maybe if I give them one, I thought, they might want to be friends with me and stop beating me up for no reason. 

I give Oikawa my box of cigarettes and give him the lighter from my backpack, and he lights one up. 

He's about to put it in his mouth until he looks at me and then smirked. 

"Boys hold him." 

The two guys hold me from either arm. 

What was happening? 

I had to speak, "I thought you said if I share, we co-" 

Oikawa laughed. 

"You think people could become friends by smoking together? How much of an idiot are you?" 

Oikawa kicked me in the shin, then put the cigarette in his mouth then let out a cough. I didn't make a sound. 

"Ugh. Smoking is nasty. Never doing THAT again. But at least I tried it once. Now to burn it out." 

He took the cigarette and brought it near my stomach. 

And then I felt the heat from the cigarette touch my skin. 

"AH-" I yelped. I couldn't hold it. It burned.