Her First Bite

Thirty One | Cannolis

I felt like I had made some progress.

Now, sure some may say that if you were still stalking and/or thinking about your 'ex' that no progress has been made. But for someone like - me, I had only been stalking and/or thinking about said 'ex' for at least one hour a day.

Yup, only one fucking hour people.

And that was a damn good accomplishment. It was an achievement. It required a trophy. I needed a gold metal sent to me with the words; Thirsty, desperate, lonely bitch breaks her personal record as only thinking of Vance for one hour a day. It was that much of a big fucking deal.

And like I said, I was making damn good progress.

My time had now became occupied with other activities. Other activities such as gardening. Not gardening at my apartment, for sure, because the closest thing I had to anything green was a Mike Wazowski poster. Gardening at my parents. My parent's house came in use - a big backyard. My mom kinda had a garden already, she had pots, a hose, other garden shit. I had just got it started - added seeds and started to maintain it better. Another activity I picked up these few weeks was YouTubing. Well not me specifically YouTubing, more me watching YouTube. Should I have worded that better? Whatever. And no I was not watching some shit on YouTube like, Oh How to get over a guy? Or How cut cut off someone's dick without them noticing? I was watching makeup channels. Like the glamours ones. Those were interesting. I knew how to do my everyday makeup, but it was all ordinary. No pizzazz. Watching all those makeup channels helped me pick out new tips and who knows? Maybe one day I will try a bold look like one of those, on a date.

And speaking of dates. . .

Netflix came up. Movies. Dates. Romantic dates. Romantic movies. That was all I was watching these past weeks. I probably saw every romance movie - that looked interesting to me - on Netflix. No, I knew that I saw all. I silently cursed myself for not having HBO Plus but then thought on the good side. The good side was saying that I wouldn't be reminded of Vance anymore. Yes I stated before that I only thought of Vance for one hour a day, but I wasn't including my movie time thinking. Should I include it? It couldn't be counted in that.

Fuck, I was lying. Fine. Fuck. Whatever. I'll just come out and say it - I thought of Vance a lot. A fuck-ton lot.

But I wasn't going to do anything about it. Nada. I had a plan - a getting over Vance plan - and I was going to stick by it.

That was called progress.

No it was something greater, it was growth.

It was growth because - yeah sure I was still thinking about the man -, but over the weeks it became more easy to ignore these feelings. It became easier to drown my self in other shit - excluding the rom-coms. It became easier to focus on work.

I was once at a time when I couldn't ignore these feelings. When I was completely, utterly obsessed with the man. Now though, times is changing. Things are becoming easier to hide. Was that good for my mental heath? No, but sometimes a girl had to what she had to do.

And you know what I call that? You know what that magical word was? As I state once more - fucking growth.

Read about it.

Cough cough Vance. I was mentally signaling him. But only because of my growth rant. I wanted him to know that I was better without him. I wanted him to know that I would be better on my own. I wanted him to know that I was doing an amazing job at being lonesome.

And I was also working my ass off at my job. Progress with my job soared up. I had been working there for quite some time now. I got the hang of it - the costumers, the easy machine, the staff, the cleaning, the baking. Oh did I mention that I was cooking now? And if someone guessed it right, I was making my famous brownies. The main reason I was even hired. Everything was a blessing in that field - me getting extra pay because of my loads of cooking was a blessing, me getting closer to my co-workers was a blessing, me getting even closer to my boss - Vanessa - was a blessing.