Her First Bite

Bonus Chapter | Eggnog (A Christmas Special)

a/n: LONG TIME NO MOTHERFUCKING SEE! HI! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

first, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A MILLION VIEWS??? HOLY SHIT! is there crack in my shit? or am i seeing random numbers again? my eyes fooling me?

second, Wattpad is being an annoying asscrack and deleting one-shot stories, and i wrote this one-shot chpt a year ago for my one-shot collection book thing (which is not happening anymore). anyways, instead of me just harboring it away in my drafts, i decided to post it, since it is from this story anyway.

SOOO get cozy, sit by the fireplace, be alone, and get in the Christmassy spirit! (there is a smidge of Santa-ish role-play, so im warning you now lol)

hope you enjoy! *elbow nudge, eyebrows eyebrows*

***

I fucking loved Christmas.

Yeah, sure, some could argue that Christmas was a whole load of shit. Cold shit. There was annoyingly fake happiness everywhere, bright lights blazing colors of all sorts, and around every corner, crowded lines everywhere, family members you had been ignoring or avoiding all year and then bam- Christmas came around, you found yourself getting another plate of the Christmas' dinner and here came your divorced aunt (with the snaggletooth and bad-ass-silver-teeth-ass kids) screaming in your ear and making jokes like, 'Damn, another plate?'

And yes I got another plate because I'm in the Christmassy-motherfucking-spirit. And when I was in the jolly mood, I wanted to eat.

Also, - since we're still on the topic of why people hated Christmas - I could make a point about carolers. I disliked those damn carolers. I could get behind not wanting five random people knocking on someone's door, and then yelling at the top of their lungs about some Virgin named Mary. Wished they fa-la-la into a tune. The worst ones would always come up to my door when I was growing up.

Couldn't hold a tune for shit.

Mary herself would be pissed.

Luckily, my list of Cons for Christmas was short. And my Pros for Christmas was long. First thing that was on my list of Pros for this year was Christmas dick. Vance's long candy cane. His North Pole. His cookie cutter. His-

Well, I think I already painted the picture.

If I went any longer I was going to sound like a hoe-hoe-hoe. Santa was probably somewhere scowling in his magic sleigh disgusted by all my clever word-play. He would be checking off his list, chatting to Rudolph and saying, One big gallon of Holy water needed to be sent to that horny bitch for Christmas.

But he also needed to know that I was not only into Christmas for the sex. Hell, before Vance I was getting no Christmas sex. Well, no sex in general.

I was into Christmas because of how lively it made everyone. Of how cheerful it made everyone. Lucky for me, we stopped going to my dad's side for Christmas and just spent it at home. That's when I really started to love Christmas. I loved Christmas with my little family. Loved waking up in my mom's house that always smelt like cookies. Loved hearing my dad struggle with putting on different ornaments onto the Christmas tree. Loved sitting by the fire as we watched shitty Christmas movies on Netflix.

And now that I was on the subject of shitty Christmas movies. . .when was the second part of that Vanessa Hudgens Christmas Sister-swap thing coming out?

Anyways, Christmas was a big, big deal for me. My favorite holiday. The giving, the eating, the ugly sweaters, the music. I looked forward to it all. And this year, I got it all and more.

More because Vance and I merged our Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with both of our families, and some friends, together. For Christmas Eve both of our families - my mom and dad, his mom and sister, plus Jett - had a secret Santa planned thing and a Gingerbread making and building house contest. And Vance and I ended up winning, of course. It was kind-of unfair to the other contestors because we are two chef's, I was a pastry one to be precise, so the baking part went very easy for us. We flew by the cooking portion quick and had more time building but damn, they didn't notice until after the game was over that they were at a slight disadvantage.