Azula's Recovery - Avatar: TLA

13.2 - Azula

"Well, well, well! I thought you'd forgotten about me!" Kaya grinned as she poured herself and Azula tea.

Azula rolled her eyes, "As if you'd let me. You sent me letters every week I was away asking me to bring back sweets from all the places I'd been."

"Important stuff! you kids have such short attention spans these days. I had to make sure you remembered." Kaya settled back. "So, tell me, what's going on?"

Azula went to sip her tea, before remembering how much Uncle loved it. She put it down to spite him. "Well, it's my uncle. Zuko invited him back because they've always been close but... He and I were... we aren't friends."

"Hmm. So you were enemies?" Kaya said deadpanned, "And let me guess, you did something horrible to him. Or he did it to you. Or both." Azula glared at her, and Kaya nodded, "So, both."

Azula huffed, crossing her arms as she sat back. "I just don't understand. He was...is...ugh!"

Kaya sat in silence for a moment, assessing Azula. "Why don't you tell me how you feel when he's around?"

"Angry... and like...betrayed," Azula ground out. "But I have no reason to feel that way, he never meant anything to me, his 'betrayals' weren't ever a surprise."

"Betrayed? That's interesting. Tell me more?" Kaya sipped her tea again.

"Uh well, my father always used to talk about how he was so angry that Iroh was the heir, simply because he was born first. And he made me think like that with Zuko. I was angry that Zuko would just get the throne. But then I learned to be better, and with my father's support, I knew that the throne was essentially already mine. But then during Zuko's banishment, Iroh helped him and all of a sudden Zuko was...better than me. I lost the Agni Kai and..."

"You feel betrayed by him because he helped Zuko?" Kaya asked.

"Yes...but also no... it's more than that." Azula's brows drew together, as she tried to work through her mixed-up emotions.

"Could it be that you feel upset that Zuko received love and support from your uncle, while you were left alone with your father?" Kaya hummed.

Azula considered this, she really couldn't think of any other reasons why she would be mad at Uncle. Father had won the throne after it all, so keeping Iroh around wasn't a problem, especially because he mostly just drank his tea. She wasn't mad at him for that, but jealousy...of Zuko? Once, she would have laughed, but now...

"Yeah. Maybe. I mean, it makes sense," Azula conceded, finally sipping at her tea.

"Do I want to know what awful things you two did to each other?" Kaya kept her tone light, but Azula saw the concerned look in her eyes.

"I...shot him once, with my firebending. I did it to hurt Zuko, and it worked. He...he always defended Zuko from me, and even with my skill, he just had more experience. Anyway...he was the one who convinced Zuko to fight me for the throne. It's just..." Azula looked away.

Kaya leaned forward, patting Azula's knee. "It's alright, remember child, feelings aren't bad. They're just messengers, and right now, they're telling you that you're hurt. That's okay."

Azula managed to give Kaya a tight smile in response.

"Perhaps you could tell me about your relationship with him when you were younger?" Kaya asked.

Azula told her about how she was very young when Uncle and Lu Ten left for Ba Sing Se. The siege lasted years, so she never really knew them all that well. Iroh sent her a doll once, and Zuko a knife, but Azula burned the doll, annoyed because she didn't like it. He'd never been around that much, and once he did return from the war, he was so...defeated. Azula had learned to hate weakness, and therefore, she had to hate him too.

Then she told Kaya about her chasm theory, how she'd been stuck with her father while her mom, brother and uncle were on the other side.

Kaya listed her head, "That's interesting. Do you still feel like you're on the side of the chasm with your father?"

Azula shrugged, "Not really. Sometimes. Like yesterday, when I saw Uncle with Ursa and Kiyi and Zuko. But not usually."

"Do you feel like you're on the side with your mother and brother more often?" Kaya continued.

"I... I guess so. Sometimes. It doesn't really feel like there's a chasm between us anymore, but I wouldn't say I'm always...with them either." Azula hadn't really thought about it all that much.

"Interesting. Perhaps there isn't a chasm anymore at all. Your father isn't in the mix to create one."

Of course. Ozai had been the one that had made her feel that way. He'd made her see them as weak, as enemies who needed to be kept far away. But now that he wasn't here, she got to decide for herself. Zuko had been good to her, had let her come home and had given her a job at court. She had friends, and family and fun. Her mother had tried, and was still trying to make amends. They were in a better place, even if they still had their disagreements. Perhaps... perhaps she could do that with Uncle too. 

Azula was feeling much better when Kaya asked her, "So what now?"

"What do you mean?" Azula asked, finishing her tea.

"Well, would you like to talk with him? Or perhaps avoid him, or pretend he doesn't exist, or even become friends?" Kaya listed the options.

Azula didn't really know. She wasn't sure she wanted to avoid him completely, but she didn't want to become too chummy either. Perhaps talking wouldn't hurt. I'll talk to Zuko about it.

Kaya let her go after that, promising to go check on the progress of the Blue Flame with her one day soon. Azula left, feeling lighter and happier than she had yesterday. She'd overcome so much, and she still could. Though she hadn't exactly enjoyed her...mental breakdown, she was so grateful for Zuko allowing her to return to the palace, and for all the incredible friends and family she'd found and the amazing memories she'd made. 

Azula always wins.

*******

Hey y'all, how's it hanging?

I hope you enjoyed this weeks update, please vote if you did!

I am warning you now, this story is very soon coming to an end. I have a lot going on this year and I'm not sure I'll be able to keep updating and writing to the standard that I want to. 

In saying that, I'm so glad that you've been on this journey with me and Azula, she's come so far, and is in such a better place. I know the story is already really long, and I didn't want to drag it out too much, but who knows, maybe I'll write a second part with the characters later in life :D

I wrote this so she too could have a happy ending, and I hope you'll agree with me that she has. 

Love you all so much - Miss Birdie xxxxxxxxxxx