5.3 - Ursa

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Ursa fidgeted slightly in her chair, adjusting and readjusting her sleeves and the folds of her dress. Kaya stood at a table to her right, preparing some tea before Azula arrived for their meeting.

When Kaya had told Ursa that Azula had finally asked about her, and had decided that she wanted to talk to her mother again, Ursa had been overjoyed. It had been almost seven months since Azula had arrived back at the palace, and though Ursa had desperately wanted to see her daughter, she had respected Zuko's request to leave her alone and give her time to recover.

It had been a different kind of torture. Ursa wasn't sure she would ever forgive herself for choosing to forget her children entirely, and forging a new life with Noren. She loved him and Kiyi very much, but she had loved Zuko and Azula first. Her relationship with Zuko had easily returned, and she had adored watching him grow into an incredible young man and an even better Fire Lord. He was so different to Ozai – kind, thoughtful and wise, and yet, he was similar in many ways too, the better ways, she hoped – powerful, ambitious and headstrong.

Ursa only hoped she would be able to repair her relationship with Azula too...

Kaya brought the tea over and set it down on a low table in the middle of the three chairs.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's bad to fidget?" Kaya asked smoothly, as she slid into the seat across from Ursa.

Ursa stopped fiddling, but said nothing. What is there to say?

"Don't worry Ursa, Azula has improved immensely over the last few months. From what I hear, she prides herself on being good at everything, and her therapy seems to be no different."

Ursa just watched Kaya.

Kaya sighed, "Anyway, even if things do get a little...fiery, I assure you that you will be completely safe."

"You're a firebender too?" Ursa asked, finally breaking her silence.

"Ugh, no. I'm a water bender!" Kaya gave her a giddy smile and pointed to the teapot, which now had small fish jumping out of it.

Ursa huffed a laugh, but then realised what Kaya had said, "Wait, does Azula often get upset and...fiery?"

"Oh no, it's much rarer now anyway. We only have to replace a chair or a rug instead of the whole room. Today should be fine. I think."

Ursa opened her mouth to ask more but then there was a sharp knock at the door. Ursa's stomach dropped and she felt her mouth go dry.

Kaya gave her a stern look, "Relax. If you're nervous you will stress her out."

Ursa nodded. Kaya stood and slid outside, shutting the door behind her. Ursa drummed her fingers on her knees as she waited, wondering what was taking so long, Is she going to back out? What will she think of me? What is Kaya saying to her? Oh no, did she tell her that I'm nervous?

Ursa didn't have much time to think about it because right then, the door opened and Kaya strode through with Azula behind her. 

Ursa stood instantly and smiled at her daughter, "Hello Azula."

Azula stood tall and just stared at her mother before Kaya told them both to sit down so that they could 'finally get started'.

Azula perched on the chair to Ursa's left and looked pointedly ahead at Kaya. Ursa tore her eyes from Azula and looked down at her own hands, more hurt by the rejection than she thought she'd be.

Kaya poured them both tea and handed them each a cup. Ursa sipped at it gingerly, sneaking glances at Azula when she could.

Kaya began, "Very well, Azula?" Azula's head snapped up to look at her. "We only have to talk about whatever you're comfortable with, okay? And Ursa? I appreciate that you are Azula's mother, and that you may want this to go a certain way, but let me remind you, these things take time. Finally, I am here to help Azula, so I will not tolerate anything that may upset her."

Ursa nodded eagerly, "Of course."

"Very well then. Let's start at the beginning. During her childhood, Azula began to display...crueller tendencies, similar to those of her father. You became closer to Zuko, and Azula grew closer–in a way–to her father. Then, Ursa you left when Azula was nine, for unknown reasons. Your children remained at the palace with their father, who then became Fire Lord. Ursa, why did you leave?"

Ursa took a steadying breath, "Ozai had always wanted the throne, but as a second son, there was no way he would get it. Azulon always favoured Iroh anyway, he was older and already a practised firebender and soldier by the time Ozai was even born. When Iroh's son and heir Lu Ten was killed at Ba Sing Se, Ozai took it as an opportunity to ask Azulon to become the new heir. I didn't know it at the time, but Azulon became angry with Ozai, and told him he too should feel the loss of a son before he could become heir over Iroh. That evening..." she stole a glance at Azula who's head was down, her hair covering her face.

"I found Azula in Zuko's room, she kept saying that their father was going to kill Zuko. I was horrified, and so scared. I went to Ozai and discovered that she was right, he was planning to kill Zuko. I made a deal with Ozai, I would give him a poison for Azulon and he would spare Zuko. Then he told me that I would have to leave, for my traitorous acts as well as his fear that I would use the poison on him too. I-I begged him to let me take my children with me, but...He refused and after I'd given him the poison, I said goodbye to you both."

She turned to Azula, "You were asleep, and so peaceful. I couldn't wake you, I kissed you and then left. Zuko woke up, so I go to say a proper goodbye. I'm sorry, Azula I wish I had woken you up. I wish it all had gone a lot differently."

Kaya nodded and turned to Azula, "Did you have anything you wanted to say?"

Azula shook her head.

Kaya gave her a moment before sighing, "More tea anyone?"

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