Azula's Recovery - Avatar: TLA

1.3 - Azula

Suki lead her towards the guest wing of the palace, opening the door closest on the left.

"Here, this is my room. I have some spare clothes if you want to wear those, or we can stop by your room on the way."

Azula thought about her old room. So many memories, so much anger. No, she couldn't go back there. Not yet. Besides, she hadn't been here in almost four years. Nothing would fit her. Though she hadn't exactly put on weight, quite the opposite actually.

"I suppose your clothes will do," Azula said as she ducked into the adjoining bathing room, "I'm going to wash up."

"Sure thing."

She shut the door behind her and took in the extravagant space. After living in a cave, sleeping on the hard ground and bathing in whatever stream she and her band of runaways could find, the lavishness of the palace seemed...excessive. Her own quarters had been even grander than this, and yet she didn't feel the same satisfaction about it as she had all those years ago.

Azula crossed to the sink and turned on the warm water. As she scrubbed her dirty face and nails, she thought back to her younger years, when she had been Princess Azula the Fire Nation's prized princess and even heir apparent. She had been doted on and showered with gifts and compliments. She had adored it, grown to expect it.

All for nothing, all your work for nothing.

"No!" she shouted back at that awful voice. No. No, you are wrong. I'm back now. I'm back and it wasn't all for nothing! I'll show you...

She straightened up to her full height and almost screamed.

Ursa. She was there she was right in front of her. No, no, no, no, not here!

Azula stumbled back and fell to the ground. Looking up, she couldn't see her mother anywhere. It had been a trick. Another trick. She couldn't trust anyone, least of all herself. Her own mind, turned against her...just like everyone else.

There was a muffled knock on the door and Suki called, "Azula? Are you okay in there? I heard a bang."

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay...Let me know if you need any help."

Azula gathered herself, sitting still as she took deep breaths. She looked up again to the sink, only to realize that she really had seen a woman before.

A mirror. She had looked into a mirror. Cursing herself, she stood again, and braced herself for what she would see. The mirror sat defiant and she slowly raised her eyes to her reflection. The face staring back at her was familiar, and yet...not.

She was much too skinny, her cheeks hollow and sallow. Her golden eyes had lost their fiery touch and seemed dull, lost. Her glossy hair had lost its sheen and while it had grown long, the ends were ragged and split. Yet, as she studied herself, she saw more and more of her mother. Ursa's ears, Ursa's nose, Ursa's everything.

You're just a less pretty version of her...

"NO!" Azula screamed and threw the nearest thing – a bar of soap at the mirror. It splattered hopelessly.

Suki threw open the door as Azula seethed at the mirror, and the splattered soap.

"Azula! What is it? What's wrong?" Suki turned Azula to face her.

"I look like her! I look just like her! Why didn't you...why didn't you tell me!" Azula raged and pushed back against Suki, but Suki held her shoulders firm.