Fix Me

chapter twelve

The bright sunlight breaks through my curtains peeking into my room and shining over my eyes causing me to roll over so I don't wake up to an overly blinding light. I pry my eyes open while still keeping myself snuggled under my warm blanket and tangled comfortably in my sheets. I bring my hand up to wipe the sleep out of my hungover eyes so that it's easier to see.

I didn't expect anything that happened last night. It all feels like some insane dream I had even though it was very real. If I focus hard enough I can still feel the tip of my finger grazing against his skin as I memorized the tattoo on his arm. Those three words that changed my entire view of everything that happened.

Please Forgive Me

Those three words never left my mind. Not even when I went back inside with a drunk Anna and rejoined my group of friends. I didn't pick up another drink after I went back inside because I was so distracted and my mind was still very cluttered with what he had just confessed to me. How he said he wouldn't be able to talk to his parents without me, and how I indirectly agreed to go with him today.

I remove the cover from my arm and reach for my phone that's on my bedside table. I tap the screen and the time appears reading eleven thirty. Early enough for everyone here to still be asleep but late enough for me to get out of bed and get ready for the long day that I have ahead of me.

I take the rest of the covers off my body and give my muscles a big stretch feeling a bit sore from the way I was sleeping last night. We got home around two o'clock this morning and as soon as I got in my bed I passed out, I didn't even change my clothes. I was so exhausted. But not because it was late or I was drunk, my energy was just completely drained from being out all night when after talking to Mason, all I really wanted to do was go home.

I get out of bed stretching a bit more before I strip off my ripped jeans and my black graphic tee that has a random band on the front of it. I grab my robe from my closet, put it on, and then walk into the bathroom so that I can take a shower.

When I look in the mirror I see how my mascara has slightly run from me sweating at the party last night because it was so hot in the house and there were so many bodies surrounding me creating even more heat. My eyes are puffy from just waking up and my hair is a crazy frizzy mess. I turn on the hot water for my shower and then hang up my robe and strip off my undergarments. Once the water heats up I step in and lean my head back soaking my hair along with my body.

Last night I was not nearly as drunk as I thought I was going to be. I remember everything as if I was sober even though I know I was at least a little bit drunk. Talking to Mason sobered me up pretty quickly, but even before that the reason I went outside in the first place was because I didn't feel like my normal drunken self.

My problems weren't disappearing and I wasn't feeling any better than when I had first gotten there and that's never really happened before. I wanted to be alone so that's why I went outside to just sit and think about some things. Honestly I had only been out there a few minutes before Mason came over and sat down next to me. His presence was comforting despite everything and for the first time that night I wasn't just thinking about the issues that I am battling within myself. They were still in the back of my mind, but him being there gave me other things to think about instead.

I wash my hair with the lavender shampoo and then put in my conditioner which is the same scent. Then I grab my washcloth and lather in my vanilla scented soap and rub it over my body. Once finished I rinse my body off while also rinsing the conditioner out of my hair and then turn off the water and step out of the shower.

I dry myself off with a towel and take a t-shirt to dry my hair so that it's only a little damp. I would blow dry it but it would be too loud and I don't want to wake anyone up before I'm able to get out the door. I plug in the flat iron and while I wait for it to heat up, I run a brush through my hair to detangle it, then wash my face and brush my teeth. I gargle with some mouth wash and then finish my skin routine before running the flat iron through my hair to straighten it and get rid of the frizz.