Fix Me

chapter twenty five

"Baby I need you to take a deep breath for me please"

I'm having a panic attack.

My chest is heavy and it's hard for me to inhale any oxygen. My knees feel like they are about to buckle from the weight of my panic and the only thing keeping me up right now is Masons hands gripping my arms as he tries to get me to calm down.

"Hey," he ducks his head down so that his eyes are level with mine. "Look at me and breathe"

We were supposed to leave for dinner ten minutes ago and I just started freaking out. My nerves shot through the roof and honestly I am terrified of how tonight is going to go. So many things can go wrong, so many different scenarios, and then I just started to panic.

I look into his grey eyes trying to focus on them and calm my breathing. He mimics breathing in and out deeply and I try my best to do it with him.

Deep breath in...

Deep breath out...

After a few seconds I've finally matched my breathing patterns with his and we spend about thirty seconds just looking at each other and breathing.

This panic attack wasn't like my normal panic attack. There were no voices and no urge to drink alcohol, I just started to freak out. All of these what if's started fogging my head and all I could think about was the worse case scenario.

I don't even know what the worse case scenario would be, I just know that it would be bad.

Sighing, I rest my forehead against his chest and take another deep breath.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea" I hear Mason mumble.

Furrowing my eyebrows I look up at him. "What?"

He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear as his eyes scan my face. "I just mean maybe you should go and have a nice dinner with your family and we can do this another time"

"No" I shake my head standing up straight. "No we're doing this today, I'm just a little nervous that's all. I'm fine"

"You just had a panic attack" he says giving me a serious 'no nonsense' look.

"I know but I'm fine it was just my nerves. That was barely anything, I just got worked up" I reply biting the inside of my cheek.

"Are you sure?" he asks never taking his eyes off mine.

I nod my head. "Positive"

I tug on the bottom of his black shirt and he leans down to kiss me. His warm kiss kills all of my remaining nerves as he places his hands on my hips firmly and I melt into him. I was so worried about all the worst case scenarios that I never thought maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe this dinner could be a good thing for all of us.

He moves his hands further up my sides and deepens the kiss pulling me closer into his body. I wrap my arms around his neck just as he slips his tongue into my mouth and begins exploring it. I let out a small moan out of instinct of his effect on me.

I gently bite down on his bottom lip which makes him groan and pull back. "Don't start something we can't finish" he warns raising an eyebrow.

I poke out my bottom lip in a pout. "We can finish, we'll just be late"

"We're already late" he glances at the clock. "Fifteen minutes late"

I unlock my arms from around his neck and run my hands down his chest. "So what's another fifteen?"

"Thirty. And your family already hates me" he grabs my bag from off the counter and hands it to me. "I don't need to give them another reason"

I roll my eyes taking the bag from him and putting it on my shoulder. "Fine, but I'm not happy about it"