Fix Me

chapter fourteen (Mason)

(Flashback)

I swing my first hard into the kids face.

His name is Aaron, I think, but I'm not entirely sure. I just know that I'm pissed and he wasn't watching where he was walking which made him bump into me. I didn't even get a good look at his face before I started to mess it up.

I have one fist clenching his shirt and holding him against the locker and the other one pounding into his face repeatedly. I won't stop until the anger satisfies itself. I can't stop. Even if I wanted to there is always something in my head that tells me I have to keep going. I have to keep going until I don't feel angry anymore, which unfortunately for this kid, could be a while.

My jaw tenses and my face feels like it's made entirely out of stone. My vision is blurred and I honestly can't see anything. I'm completely blacked out, the only thing I can feel is my knuckles bruising from hitting flesh over and over again.

I didn't get mad because the kid bumped into me, that was just the tip of the iceberg. Earlier this morning my dad and I got into it again because I forgot to do the fucking dishes.

It wasn't my fault. I had a shit ton of work do to and I was tired. I told him I would do them after school today but he still got angry with me. So not only did I have to fight him off this morning but I also got a black eye out of it, which sucks because what eighth grader do you know walks around with sunglasses on all day? To everyone else it's a trend I created, some people even started copying me because they thought I did it for style. Sure wearing sunglasses is cool, but not when you're hiding a black eye under it.

I punch Aaron in the stomach making him double over in pain even though I'm still holding him against the locker.

I don't even feel bad.

This is the only time he'll have to go through this, he has time to heal. I have to go through this everyday with my dad beating the crap out of me. Us beating each other because neither of us can control the anger. So Aaron can take it for a few more seconds if I have to take it for a few more years.

Before I can sock him in the face again, a pair of hands grab my shoulders and yank me back. My grip on Aarons shirt loosens and I hear him fall to the ground still not quite being able to see anything because I haven't came out of my blackout yet.

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head trying my best to come out of it so I can see what's going on. I want to see the damage I caused.

When I finally come to, I'm still being held back by someone. My breathing is staggered from the energy I exhausted on beating up Aaron.

"Mason chill out bro" I hear Noah say from behind me. Of course it's Noah holding me back, it's always Noah holding me back. He doesn't let go until I've calmed down but by then the principal is already making her way down the hallway.

"He won't do it again" my dad says sliding his third check this week across the principals desk.

I sit next to him with my arms folded across my chest looking down at the black converse on my feet. I honestly should have been kicked out of this school a long time ago. But my dad writes them checks so that the fights don't end up on my record and it keeps me in the school. Really fucked up and privileged of him. I would be just fine going to the local public school.

I tune out the rest of their conversation and pretty much everything else until my dad swings his car into the driveway of our house. He hasn't said anything to me this entire time which only means he's going to lose it once we get inside.