THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME

Chapter 14

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Chapter 14
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Jinette POV

ONE MONTH LATER

Brian and I have been doing well for the past month. He never fails to romance me catering to my needs. He is an incredible man. The way he respects and treats me like a princess makes me miss him so much when he's not here. There no denying he's a workaholic man and spends most of his time at the company. The loneliness in this house has been getting to me. With all my insecurities and self-doubt I am driving myself crazy with thoughts of him.

I don't have low self-esteem but I tend to doubt my self-confidence at times. My fault. I guess I have to get out of my head sometimes but this loneliness has been getting to my mind, body and soul. There isn't much to do apart from cooking and light clearing which doesn't take up my day and leave me bored most of the days.

I'm currently talking to Anna she's having the time of her life in Guyana. She can't shut up about their food, and their majestic Kaieteur falls.

"Jin how about my next time off, I fly over and we can spend some time together."

"That's a great idea, I don't have anyone here with me."

"Where your friend Cindy."

"She has her hand full with Steph and grandpa away in France."

"I remember he's over there. Is he shacking up with an old gal like himself?"

I laugh "it would be nice if he had someone."

"We both know that's not happening." She says laughing.

"He said he already found his one true love and there no going back."

"Jin I want to find myself love like that."

"I want to believe I've found it with Brian only if we spend more time together he'd be perfect."

"Girl, you know that man is working. Have a whole company to look after."

"I know, I know but my mind wouldn't turn off about it."

"I understand Jin."

"I just miss him so much and I miss work."

"Why don't you talk to him about it?"

"I talk to grandpa and he promised me after a few months he will bring me in."

"No silly I think you should talk to your husband about it."

"Maybe when the time is right and he can stay at home."

"Maybe if you work with him he wouldn't have to be away so much and you guys can spend all your time with each other."

"Maybe" I whisper. "Don't be sad Jin Jin I love you."

"I love you too Anna."

"Just talk to Brian, tell him you miss him and need some attention."

"I will once he make it home for dinner."

Anna stayed on the phone a little while longer with me and I feel a little better after I hang up. I promise to visit her so we can spend some time together as well and I can see the country.

After my talk with Anna, I decided to make some egg salad sandwiches for lunch and bake a pan of bread and butter pudding for dessert. I hope Brian makes it early tonight and we can have dinner together.

As I sit running through my phone my thoughts win the best of me. For the past two weeks, Brian has been coming home late and leaves early. I'm so frustrated he hasn't touched me for the past two weeks. We haven't been communicating as we normally do because he's so busy. He says.

He told me he's working on a huge project for the Blacks industries, remodelling their resort, but every design he drafts for them, they disapprove. He has been consulting with another firm to build an alliance and to work on the restoration of the Blacks resort. But I can't help feeling insecure. Maybe it's the way we were brought together or something. With all the late nights and early morning, it's like he's avoiding me, working or something. Especially with the fact that he hasn't touched me in two weeks has been getting to me the most. Since we made love on our wedding night two days haven't passed with him not touching me or making love to me. Now two weeks have past and it scares me.

I was so lost in thoughts, I didn't realize it was nightfall and the day has ended with me doing this ridiculous routine. I clean whatever little around the house. I cook then about sit about all day watching movies or design a few building ideas I have in mind. I groan and walk upstairs to our room take a shower and get ready for bed. Another night he hasn't made it home for dinner nor did he call me, to say he's running late again. I lay in bed with my thoughts until I fell asleep.
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It is currently 11:00 pm, I wake up and he is still not at home. I'm laying here in bed waiting for him. Every night I do so until I fall asleep, wake up then fall asleep again.

Sometimes I don't even know if he comes home because when I woke up in the morning he's gone. The only evidence I have that he was home is his clothes in the laundry room.

My nerves are on high tonight and I'm wondering if he's cheating on me, isn't he attracted to me anymore. Is there someone else?. I couldn't stop these scared feelings that came over me as I lay here.

I sit up feeling low I walk over to the body mirror, looking at myself. I look the same to me thick tights, full breast, not the flattest tummy but it is not too over the top. A decent butt. I'm looking fabulous. I taught. Is it just my active brain getting the best of me or something going on.

Could it be he's second-guessing this marriage? He said he loves me and I know I haven't said it back as yet, it's just I've never been in love and I want to be absolutely positive before I say those words to him, although I've given myself to him. I don't understand all this distance between us and it's getting to me. Is this his way of dealing with me? because I haven't said it back.

He told me how beautiful I am and he will wait until I'm there. I sigh, I just don't know what is going on or if we have a problem.

My subconscious says he's working he told you so crazy woman.

But my crazy self brings all the doubts to the forefront, and I'm believing it.

A tear slid down my cheeks. I quickly wipe it away going back to bed. Where I toss and turn until I fell asleep.

When I wake the next morning Brian was fast asleep. I lay there silently watching his handsome face. Suddenly I don't know if to cuddle up to him or to get away from him. So I get up sitting at the edge of our bed.

When he opens his eyes. He smiles at me. "Beautiful good morning," he says.

"Good morning," is all I say. He cups my cheeks, kisses my forehead getting up. He didn't kiss my lips and I needed it so badly and painfully this minute. But he gets up off the bed and went into the bathroom. Leaving me sitting here feeling worst.

While I went to our home gym which I don't normally use but due to my insecurity, I decided to start working out.

After an hour in the gym on the treadmill. I went up to the washroom take a long shower and brush my teeth. When I came up Brian was gone. There was a note on the bedside cupboard saying he'd be late tonight and he loves me.

I scrunch it, sitting on the bed crying my heart out. I don't know how long I cried when Rossie our housekeeper came and brought my breakfast to my room.

The look on her face showed how concerned she was. "Madam, please don't cry, what's wrong is everything alright." I just shook my head crying even more, "are you sick or hurting she asked."

"No"

"Should I call young sir Chesney?"

" No, I'm having a headache Rossie and I'm not hungry."
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The end of another chapter

Let me know what u guys think is going on with Brian.