THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME

Chapter 34

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Chapter 34
Listen while reading the power of love

Brian POV

I didn't go to bed last night. I slept in my office. I didn't mean to shut Jinette out, but of all the stuff, I expected to be dealing with right now, this isn't one of them. I wasn't prepared to hear this news at this moment. And I didn't want to take, out my frustration on Jinette. I should be in control of my emotions but this catch me off guard and I'm angry and frustrated about it.

Granddad should have told me. Now he's dying, he sends me an email.
A fucking email, I rub my hands over my face and exhaling hard. I don't know how to handle this and it's like I can't accept it. How do I accept it? Why didn't he tell me? I was right here, we talked constantly and he said nothing to me. Even when I felt something was wrong, I asked him and he said nothing. I remember talking to him and he sounded off but I didn't push him because I thought if anything was wrong, he would tell me.

I trusted him to tell me something of this nature.

I rub the back of my neck it hurts, my head hurts, I'm furious with him. He should have told me. I could have been there for him. I should have been there. He put his friend first instead of family. I'm his blood for Christ's sake. I am boiling in anger the more these unanswered questions come to mind. It was eating away at me.

I am here living, when he is over there, with his life fading away from him. What am I to do now without him.

"Brian, Brian I made breakfast" Jinette calls out tenderly. Her voice is so soothing and gentle it hurts me to shut down on her.

I didn't open for dinner last night I don't know why she thinks I will need breakfast. Food was the last thing on my mind.

"Baby......." her voice cracks, "you haven't eaten since yesterday."

I wasn't even studying food right now. I hardly slept, how my mind wouldn't turn off with thoughts of this.

"Brian, I know what you're going through. I was fifteen years old when my parents died and I felt like my world ended the moment I received the news. I know this can't be easy and I know you're hurting, but I'm here for you, I love you. Please talk to me. I'm right here."

"Please eat something."

"Babe, it pains me to say, but if it's space you need I can go, I can give you some time to yourself. But before you make that decision just know, if I was in your shoes I would need my husband. I will be here as long as you need me."

"Brian," she sobs and I can hear her crying. I know I'm hurting her but I'm hurting too.

"I know you are hurting and I'm hurting too because I need my husband our bean needs you too. I promise to comfort you, on our wedding day baby please let me comfort you."

She broke down her voice crack.

"Please don't shut me out, I'm here for you, to comfort you every step of the way. You have been a wonderful husband to me. Let me be a good wife to you."

I didn't answer, I just want to think this through but my mind was just fogged with anger and rage.

"Ok, Brian if you don't open the door or answer. I will pack a few things and go over to grandpa. I will give you your space to sort things out but if you open we can pack and go to France to see granddad and I will hold your hands the entire time. I'm here for you just open."

I wasn't expecting her confession. I just sit here with shattered glasses around me feeling sorry for myself and angry. I'm not the kind of guy to be emotional but Granddad took me in when I had no one and nothing. My mother died, my father left me, he grew and nurtured me into the man I am today. Now he's leaving me too.

Jinette POV

My hormones weren't helping matters at all today. From the moment I wake up this morning, I'm a mess of nerves trying to comfort Brian. I thought he would come to me after I confessed my true feelings to him. But he didn't budge. I didn't sleep well thinking about what he's going through. I didn't want to be selfish but I needed him in our bed with his arms around me.

I wish grandpa had told me, because the way Brian found out, I would have behaved the same way or worst. I understand losing someone so dear to you. It's not easy. I went through it, after losing my parents. I would have lost myself if wasn't for grandpa. So I understand how he feels.

The time is now 11:00 am and he still didn't come out or say anything to me.

My back is killing me sitting here on this vanity stool without any support to my back, at his study door. I need my husband too.

Before I go, I will give it one more try, I didn't want to leave him this way alone but it's obvious he doesn't want me around right now. so I knock on his door once more.

Brian, I call out again, getting up walking up to his door and leaning my forehead head to the door, but still no answer.

"Brian, I wish, I had a chance to say goodbye to my parents. To let them know I love them. I never had that opportunity. Don't you want that opportunity to say goodbye and make peace with it?"

Brian opens the door with a force the door almost fling off its inches. His face is stone-cold like he is going to burst with the anger radiating off him. His eyes are red and his nose flares with anger and it's directed at me.

"What the hell am I to make peace with Jinette. The fact that he told his friend over his flesh and blood or the fact that he told me he's dying through an email. wait, or is it the fact that I'm here when he's over there alone dying. Tell me which of those." He barks at me with venom in his voice.

I stand here wide eyes shock and flabbergast. Who the hell is this guy. He is blinded by rage and anger, that he just unleash on me.

My mind is so stunned I couldn't think of anything to say back to him so I walk away not saying anything. I decide in my short walk back to my room to give him, his space. Since that's what he wants. The venom in his voice sounds like he blames me somehow. Did he think I knew because grandpa knew? Does he think I would keep something like this from him?

I walk into our room taking out my overnight bag, I pack my stuff. I didn't want to leave him this way. however, it's clear he didn't want me around. I walk into the bathroom to pick my toiletries when I walk back into the room. There he is leaning against the wall with his hands in his pocket his eyes red as if he was crying.

I ignore him placing my stuff into my overnight bag. When I was about to zip my bag he walks up to the bed, taking it out of my hands. I didn't say anything tears flow down my cheeks and I didn't meet his eyes.

"Jinette........" he calls again.

I didn't answer and I didn't let go of my bag. If it's space he wants I will give it to him.
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