Life Goes On

16. Overnight Visits

 

After a week of constant visits to Santa Monica, my dad finally spoke up. He was in no way harsh because he knew I was still sensitive, but he sat me down and talked about it with me. "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but he'll come back when he wants to. All you can really do at this point is pray. I'm sure his family will do just fine without you there 24/7," he said, "I know it's hard, but he's in good hands. The doctors have said he's doing well, so you need to trust that they won't fail him, his family, or you."

 

Since then, I've texted Jazmyn almost every second of every day, but we tried our best to steer clear of the subject of her brother. Somehow, we always ended on that note, though. Because I now knew what she was most afraid of, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain for her as well.

 

I hadn't made a video in a couple weeks, so I decided to take it up with Jazmyn and her parents if it was okay to tell my audience the reason behind my absence. They all gave me the right away. So now here I was, sitting in front of my camera trying my best to come up with words to explain this.

I wanted them to know how I was really feeling and how I was struggling with this, so I decided to just turn the camera on and wing it. I stayed quiet for about 2 minutes, before I said something. "Hey guys, Faith here," my voice lacked excitement and I repeatedly scolded myself for that, but there was no way I could put myself in the mood. "I'm not in the best mood, so please bear with me."

"First and foremost, I'm so sorry for not uploading in 2 weeks. I know I suck but I have a perfectly acceptable excuse," I look down at my fingers and take a deep breath, "these past 2 weeks have been so hectic and unbelievable. I was at VidCon and then something terrible happened, as you guys may've already known. If you don't know, Justin got into a really bad car accident." My throat closes up just saying these words. "He has a broken arm and a huge gash on his head, but the doctors say he's reacting well to the treatments. However, he hasn't woken up and we don't know when he will. All we can do is pray and hope for the best. Right now it's all up to him," and there went a tear. I wipe it away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry, but lately that's all I know how to do."

 

"Just seeing him all bruised and hooked up to millions of wires hurts," I say, "seeing someone who makes your life so much brighter in that kind of state is completely heart breaking," there went another tear. "I don't want to go into depth because if I do, this video will be 10 minutes of me crying and I don't intend for this to be one of those videos. I'm only making this because I like to have you guys in the loop and this is what's been up with me lately. I'm sorry this video isn't what y'all expected. I hope you guys understand. I love you all so much and hopefully all of us are much better next week." I blow a kiss at the camera and press the shutter button, turning it off.

 

I was too tired to edit it, so I simply transferred it to my laptop and uploaded it to MyTube straightaway. After it finished processing, I copied the link and posted it to my Twitter page.

 

"@Fayth_Adams: please send prayers our way. it'd be greatly appreciated. love you all♡"

 

Wanting to see everyone's reaction to this, I clicked on my mentions and read through them. They were all very considerate and understanding. Many said they sent prayers.

 

"@Fayth_Adams: so grateful to have such an amazing audience. I love you all tons. thanks for everything. also, great meeting everyone at vidcon♡"