Life Goes On

17. Heartaches

I sat with my back against the door of Justin’s hospital room for God knows how long. The doctors were out of there about 30 minutes later and said I could go in, but I didn’t. Jazmyn was seated on the chair next to me, having asked what was wrong a million times without getting an answer from me. She tried asking the doctors, but they weren’t allowed to say without her parents present.

 

I finally stood up, my face hard from all the dried tears. Jazmyn stood up as well. “Are you ready to talk?” I nod, but I begin walking to the elevator. I knew if I told her inside, she’d be worried sick and want to go check on him straight away. I couldn’t let her, not so soon, not right after all those monitors went crazy on me. What if it happened to her, too?

 

She gets the hint that I want to go to her car, so she leads me. When we’re out in the parking lot, I follow her inside a white Mercedes, in which I notice to be her mom's car. "What happened?" She asked, facing her whole body to me.

 

"I don't know myself," I answer honestly, "one second I was talking to him and the next all the monitors were going off." I want to tell her the whole story, but no words can come to mind on how to describe it.

 

"There's something else. You still look on edge," she points out, "what is it?"

 

I sigh, "I was holding his hand. I started crying while I was talking, so I leaned my head over our hands and kissed his. When I was about to let go, I felt a squeeze." My throat feels like it's closing in on itself again, but I push through. "He squeezed it again a little harder and when I looked up at him, his chest shot up and he was choking or something. It sounded like he was trying to breathe, but I couldn't process anything. The monitors started going off and doctors rushed in and one of them carried me out of the room and that's when you found me crying on the floor."

 

When I look to her, her eyes are filled with water. "He squeezed your hand?" I nod and she closes her eyes, letting a tear escape.

 

"That's good though, right? It means he's getting closer to coming back," I say.

 

"I hope, I really hope." She drives us to her house and we have a huge meal there. My dad told her to make sure I ate, so she had Pattie make me a gourmet breakfast. By the time I was done, I was sick of even the word food.

 

"Thank you so much," I say to Pattie."

 

"It's no problem, Hun. I wouldn't want you going back there," she smiles.

 

"We'll be up in my room," Jazmyn says. I follow her up and lay beside her on her bed.

 

"How come you didn't tell your mom?" I ask her.

 

She shrugs, "She's trying to get back to work and stuff and I don't wanna worry her."

 

"You shouldn't worry either," I say, "I'm sure that was a sign from him that he's gonna be back very soon."