Life Goes On

15. Fears

Just hearing those words makes my stomach twist and my heart accelerate. I don't know what to think other then 'is he okay'. My hands are shaking and my mind is racing with a million questions, praying for good answers. My voice quivers as I try to calm Jazmyn, and myself, down. "W-what do you mean? Is he okay?"

"I don't know," she continues to cry, "it's my fault. It's all my fault."

"Where did they take him?" I ask, shuffling around trying to get a new pair of clothes on.

"Saint John's here in Santa Monica," she says.

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can." I hang up and start shuffling around, trying to find my shoes. I'm in such a hurry that I don't notice them sitting right in front of my eyes, and when I do, I break down.

I fall to my knees and cry. The lump in my throat is now a gagging noise and I run to the bathroom. I'm choking and gagging, not able to throw up because of the lack of food in my system. I'm guessing my dad hears me because he rushes to my side.

"What's wrong? What's going on?" He asks, his eyes filled with worry and panic.

"It's Justin," I cry, hovering over the toilet spitting into the bowl.

"What happened?"

"He got into an accident on his way home! I have to go see him." My dad rubs my back and holds my hair out of my face.

"Faith, you need to calm down and eat something first before you do anything," he says.

"Did you not hear what I just said? He got into a car accident, a bad one! I have to be there for Jazmyn and for him!" I go back to my room and lace up my converse, before grabbing my phone and car keys and speeding off.

On the way there, it's just me, my thoughts, and my sobs. I can't stop myself from thinking the worst, but I was praying for the absolute best. I wanted to get there and see him wide awake, with at least a broken bone. My phone rings, but I don't answer, it most likely being my father.

The next 30 minutes are agonizing and I almost jump out of my car when I see the hospital come into view. I park my car wherever, not caring about where it was, and run into the building. The receptionist sees my panicked face and asks if I need any assistance.

"Justin Bieber, he was in an accident," I say, my hands and voice still shaking.

"He's still in surgery," she says, "but you're welcome to wait in the waiting room. He's on the third floor." I nod and sprint to the elevator, clicking repeatedly on the 'up' arrow as if it'd come faster by me doing this.

When I get up, my eyes scan the unfamiliar area searching for the waiting room. I walk a little ways down a hall and when I hear cries, I know I'm headed the right way. I scurry down the rest of the way and when I get there, my heart aches all over again. Jazmyn is leaning into her dad and Pattie is yelling at the receptionist.

I sit beside Jazmyn and as soon as she notices me, she leans into me and cries some more. I hold her tight, caressing her hair and trying to hold back my own sobs. It's too hard, though. Seeing her so distraught only makes me feel even worse, so I join her. We both cry into each other, me much quieter than her, however.

After awhile, she seems to calm down and I lift her head from my shoulder. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks stained with old and new tears. I wipe them away and hug her for a second. "He's gonna be okay," I say.

"How do you know that?" Her voice begins to shake.

"Because he's a fighter. He always gets what he wants, remember? Your brother is a very strong guy and I know he'll make it through. He's a trooper," I look into her eyes, trying to ease her pain, but I only seem to ease it a little.