Addicted to You

The Proposal

Everything felt real when you watched someone mouth Time of death 15:09

___

You were jolted awake. You opened your eyes and found yourself in the waiting room of a hospital clutching a bag of Spencer's clothes. When you looked up Tara was holding an FBI jacket in her hands, handing it to you

"Looks like you were having a pretty bad dream"

"Yeah" you slowly sat up and rubbed your eyes, you wanted to make sure it was just a dream "How's Spencer"

"He's asleep, he was lucky the bullet could have hit the carotid artery. It nicked a couple of small vessels but they stopped the bleeding"

You took the jacket from her hands and sat up straight to put it on, she sat down next to you. You rested your head into your hands, you ran your hands through your hair and sighed "This is all my fault"

"How could this possibly your fault"

"He kept telling me to get out the way" your eyes were dried out from the tears you had shed, your voice cracked "And I didn't move and he just ran in front of me to carry me away"

"You were trying to save another life" her hand found yours

"I should have just moved when he told me"

"Y/n none of this is your fault, it's the unsubs"

"Thank you" you turned your head to look at her "Did you guys catch him"

"Yes, he was taken to another hospital but he's in custody"

"Okay" you whispered "I'm going to go see him, what room is he in"

"408"

Tara let go of your hand and let you walk away, once you arrived to the room you spotted JJ at his bed side. You couldn't tell if you were too harsh on her earlier but it needed to be said. She turned her head to look at you and she wiped her tears. She squeezed his hand and brushed past you. Before you walked in you had snatched some jello from the cafeteria.

You set it on the table beside you and took his hand in yours, he was still asleep. "I'm so sorry for leaving you" you sniffled "You know when I came back I honestly thought that we could have had a chance to be together" your thumb rubbed circled over his hand "It was really selfish of me to think that you wouldn't move on to someone else"

Your swallowed the lump in your throat and choked back to tears, you had been crying too much "I should've come back sooner, I can't be with you and that just breaks my heart. I would do anything just to have you in my arms again"

It felt like an eternity waiting for him to wake up, but he did. His eyes opened and lit up when they drifted towards you. "Spence!"

"Not so loud" he croaked out

"Sorry" you giggled, you took the jello from the table behind you and held it up

"Jello!" he smiled looking up at you

"I know it's your favorite" you opened it and moved the table closer to him

"You're the best" he tried to move but he just groaned in pain

"Lay back it's okay" you rested your hand on his shoulder gently

"Thank you for being here when I woke up" he reached for your hand and you held on

"Why would you take the bullet for me" you diverted the conversation, it was a genuine question you had. He could have died

He squeezed your hand and just looked at you, that look in his eyes was all you needed. He loves you, the memory of your drunken night and the actions of today proved it. But then you realized that you brought pain to him. It started years ago with the drugs and then you were breaking his relationship with Max. Hell, you got him shot, it was supposed to be you. As much as you wanted him you couldn't have him. But that didn't stop the words that were about to come out of your mouth.