Aureate | Harry Styles

13

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: More than a Woman by Bee Gees ────────────⚪️──────────────────◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 1:15/ 3:16

"suddenly you're in my life, part of everything i do, you've got me working day and night just trying to keep a hold on you..."

•••

Wrapping my brain around what Harry is doing for me takes a good 45 minutes. In my 24 years of life, never have I experienced a friend listening so closely to me that they were able to do something for me that I didn't even know I wanted. The juxtaposition between the way this man who I had known for a month treats me and how my mother treats me has my mind running at a speed I am even able to fully comprehend.

As had been my practice since childhood, my reaction to the hurtful words that were spat at me the night prior has ben to shove my feelings down and pretend it didn't happened. My therapist was trying to break this habit, but I'm not quite there yet. Despite this, I have a sneaking feeling that Harry will not let me simply ignore the events of the last night, just as I had pushed him to process his hurt from his breakup. I wonder how long he will actually let me go without talking about it.

Sitting in the car with him, his cologne tickling my nose, I'm at a loss for words, unsure quite what to say. Not only am I scared to say the wrong thing, but I worry that if I open my mouth I will blurt out that I think he is the most perfect, miraculous person to ever walk this planet. I opt instead to scroll through the email Stanford had sent him, reading and re-reading every detail they offer up.

It is quiet in the car due to my lack of words and Harry's obvious discomfort from my silence. He has one hand on the wheel and the other is picking at the cream pants that covered his legs. Harry fiddles with his rings and pinches his lip between his thumb and forefinger.  He glances over at me every few minutes and I shoot him small smiles. I'm about to speak up when he sighs deeply and decides to break the silence himself.

"Are you sure you're okay with this Emerson?" He says a concerned look etched on his face. "You've barely said anything at all, it's worrying me. It's unusual for you to stay silent for longer than 10 minutes, so the fact that you have been for 45  now is making me wonder if I made a mistake by setting this up. " Harry has never been afraid to tell me exactly how he is feeling, and it is one of my favorite things about him.

"Harry, yes I'm sure. I would have told you immediately if I wasn't. This gesture truly means the world to me," I reassure, placing a hand on his arm, "I'm sorry I've been so quiet, I'm just processing everything. But truly, H, thank you for setting this up. I would have never done it myself. "

"Pinky promise you're good with it?" He looks at me and sticks his painted pinky out to me, and I giggle. His face is shrouded with unsureness, so I wrap my pinky around his and lean over the console to kiss his cheek. Relief spreads across his face, and one of his dimples appears on his cheek right by where my lips had just been.

"Pinky promise," Harry grins back at me and I feel warmth spread through my body at the sight of his smile, "Now, can I get some music going in this car? It's a little too quiet for my taste."

"Should have asked sooner, the silence was killing me, honeybee," Harry hands me his phone, and I pull up the song that has been in my head all morning. The sound of the Bee Gee's plays through the car, and Harry lights up. We had just gotten off the Pacific Coast Highway, heading into a more rural part of California. The view out the windows isn't as beautiful as the usual ocean view as we drive but it is still lovely. My attention is quickly taken away from the scenery out my window as Harry sings along with the music.