Chapter 21

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Waking up with great gasping breaths everything seemed so real all of a sudden. She glanced around the room and confusion hit her hard until the reality of her situation set in. Peter immediately woke as she was shifting around quite a bit, gently he took her hand and she began to cry causing him to try and silence her but she just wouldn't come down from her panic. He suggested the one thing that would calm her down immensely and that was watching the stars so he gently led her over to the window and allowed her to gaze into the night sky but Carla just wasn't having any of it and Peter knew that the memories of Lucas and his abuse would torture her forever and there was no erasing them from her precious mind which hurt Peter so much. In a sense, it was recovery he didn't know if she would develop PTSD from the trauma she had been experiencing months on end but he would be there by her side as always.

"Talk to me" he tries but nothing and that was ok she was scared and he understood entirely why she might not want to relive it

"I'm pregnant" she cries as Peter rubs his hand up and down her back to calm her "What do I do?"

"Ok this is what we're going to do," he says brushing the back of his fingers along the side of her cheeks "First we're going to keep that mind of yours busy then when it's the morning we're going to ring Michelle and she'd going to come over we're going to tell her everything-"

"No I don't want anyone to know, no" she shakes her head he sighs knowing he couldn't do this on his own and that he needed help as it would be a strain on him

"Ok listen I haven't finished yet" he pokes her on the nose she bites her lip and sighs "I was just thinking if Michelle knew then she could maybe have a word with Ali and he could check you over?"

"I don't know" she starts as Peter knows she would contemplate it, he also knows it would be difficult for her to trust people even if they were her own family

"All I ask is that you think about it," he says, she nods slowly glancing down to her wrist "Does that still hurt?"

"Yes when he pushed me I fell on it awkwardly" she starts, he nods kissing get on the forehead

"I'll go and get you the bag of peas from the freezer," he says as she rapidly shakes her head not wanting to be left alone "Alright I won't go"

"Thank you" she starts sitting on the bed crosslegged he sits down with her watching her think

"What are you thinking about?"

"Lucas"

"He can't hurt you now"

"It's not that I just wonder if he's ok," she says as when she thought about it she felt so guilty

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter" she shakes her head before biting her lip, he hooks his fingers under her chin and she flinches causing him to retract his hand

"Oh Carla" his heart breaks for her, he holds her just wanting to give her some comfort in the hope it would make her feel better as well as himself "Can I ask a question?"

"Yeah?"

"What was the worst thing he did to you?"

"Um," she falters as Peter smiles slightly "When I first took a pregnancy test after I came off my pill it was negative, uh this all seems so stupid now because he can't even get women pregnant but he got angry got it into his head that I was meant to be pregnant or that I was I don't know anyway he then accused me of being on birth control I tried my best to reassure him but it didn't work he punched me in the stomach then dragged me into the bedroom, I just focussed on the pain when he...raped me, the pain was so much when he...was doing it I just didn't fight back he made it so believable that it was consensual and I believed him, I was so stupid-"

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