Drake ✔️

Chapter 52

Shay

The day after the shittiest day of my life, and I'm feeling a tiny fraction more positive about things. Because my impromptu trip to New York City with Penn is on.

Unfortunately for me, driving from my motel in South Bridge to New York meant going north. As in, back towards town. I was nervous as hell on the drive to Penn's place, and when I sat in his driveway with my engine idling, I bit the fuck out of my fingernails in case anybody else was over at Penn and Jax's. I didn't wanna bump into anybody, this day is about space and clarity, so I thanked my lucky stars when Penn emerged from the house on his own. I still haven't bothered replying to anyone, so I fully expected Jax to rush out to my car to hug me and check in. She didn't though, and I guess it's because she knows I'll be in touch when I'm ready. Love that chick.

My tension starts to fade when I drive past the back of the Welcome to North Bridge sign, meaning we're officially out of dodge. By the time I hit the freeway, my lungs feel light and my throat feels less constricted. I can breathe again, thank the lord.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong with you?" Penn grumbles from the passenger seat. We've barely said two words to each other yet, so I knew this was coming. And I don't need to look around at him to know he ain't looking at me. He's so fucking awkward with this kinda thing, and today, that totally works for me.

"This and that." I reply vaguely, gripping the steering wheel just a tad tighter in efforts to keep my cool. "Things just feel a little heavy. What with Scar dropping her complaint and all."

"What's the all?" Penn asks straight off the bat. I frown to myself, eyes still on the road.

"What do you mean?"

"You said dropping her complaint and all. So I'm asking what the all is." He clarifies.

"I don't know exactly." I lie quietly, hating that I'm lying to him. But I have to, it is absolutely necessary. "How are you feeling today? About the Axel stuff?"

"Been better." He grits out, then a loaded wall of silence forms between us as I continue driving. I don't like it, I need to break the wall down.

"Listen, dude, I invited you on this trip because I thought we could both use some time away. Breathing space, thinking space, distance." I point out. "I think forgetting about whatever shit we're dealing with in Maryland is for the best today. That cool with you?"

"It is." He answers after a moments consideration. "I suppose we can shift focus to the shit we're about to deal with in New York. You wanna visit Jess."

It's a statement, not a question. I'll elaborate, though.

"I don't, actually." I inform him. "Just felt like a good distraction technique. Sitting in a room with that woman will completely take our minds off of everything else, right?"

"Bullshit, Shay." He replies quietly. "There's another reason you wanna go see her. Tell me."

I purse my lips and tighten my grip on the wheel. Then I open my mouth and take a few slow, deep breaths. I'm keeping the sex tape from my brother, but I guess there's no reason to be dishonest with him about this. Here goes.

"I didn't know Jess growing up, but Axel did." I remind Penn. "Jess and Joaquin were pretty close. They spent time together, time around Axel. I was never involved obviously, I spent most of my time with the Del Testa family, not the Hawthorne family. Axel's never talked much about his aunt - our mom - I think because he knows I don't wanna hear it. And I respect that. She's no mother of mine, I didn't wanna hear about her, I was totally fine living my life without her, you know?"