43 || Remember

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Leo was exhausted

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Leo was exhausted. She had never felt so emotionally and physically worn...but that's war. She prayed she didn't mishear Gandalf. This was too good to be true - and usually, if it's too good to be true, it isn't true. Her heart was broken for Thorin and Kili, she dreaded the moment Fili realized they were gone. She knew she would never fill those voids in him, but by Aule, she would try.

She wished she would have let Kili know how much so adored him...she didn't even remember her last words to him. She remembered him giving her a wink and his goofy grin, her heart always melted when he did that. Leo knew that she had room in her heart for another brother and Kili found his place in there with Bilbo. He protected her, he made her laugh, he was so strong and brave.

She at least knew Thorin's last words to her...words of peace. She felt comfort knowing she had the chance to let him know that she forgave him and to know that he felt such confidence in her. Thorin was one of the most admirable dwarves she had ever met, he was a great king and will always be honored as such - she would make sure of that.

She had wished that she would have known when she had these last, joyful moments with the company. The night they arrived at Bagend...the night her life changed forever. She remembered Bilbo's mini breakdowns. She smiled. She remembered the moment she saw Fili, they watched each other, they fell in love. She remembered how they sang and had a merry time - as life should have been.

Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

She remembered the encounter with the trolls. The first time Fili had really fought for her, Kili as well. She remembered wiggling around in the potato sack, listening to Bilbo negotiate with them - if it had been appropriate for her laugh at that moment, she would have.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"

"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!"

"We're riddled!"

"Yes, I'm riddled!"

"Yes, we are, badly!"

She remembered riding with Radagast to distract the orcs. Fili was not happy with the idea, but she wanted to prove herself. She felt important...like she really had a place in the company - until she was thrown off.

"Which way, little one?"

She remembered being healed in Rivendell. She remembered wearing that beautiful elven dress and seeing the dwarves' reactions. She remembered having her first, sweet moment with Fili, where he told her he was falling for her.

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