The Real Reed

Chapter 37

Neck deep in the river screaming for relief
He says, it's mine to give
But it's yours to choose
You're gonna sink or swim, you're gonna learn the truth

                            -The Silent Comedy

Reed's POV

Remaining in my room was apparently looking like a better idea than coming out here as the minutes continued to tick by.

After Po left to make breakfast, I had changed into one of my dad's old t-shirts, like I did at this time every year, and just layed down on my bed. Every year, on the week of the anniversary and my dad's birthday, I'd wear some of his old t-shirts, whether they were white or not. I didn't have many of them, I probably only had about six in total, but they were the only thing that could somewhat console me at this time; excluding Po of course.

But they didn't really seem to be doing their job this year, especially with my choice today of a black t-shirt that fell to my mid-thighs and had avoid toxic people printed across the front in neon green ink.

It was like the shirt was mocking me, because the only toxic person I know is myself.

It felt like it has been hours of me staring at the blank ceiling, but by the time I decided to sit up on the bed, the clock on my nightstand said that it had only been three minutes.

I felt hot again and my skin was beginning to irritate me, so I took off my sweatpants and flung it across the room, leaving me in just the t-shirt and socks on my feet.

He hadn't said anything, but I knew something was wrong. What I didn't know was why Po was mad at me. Or maybe it wasn't me he was mad at, because it definitely wasn't my fault that Harry had barged in on us.

Harry.

I hadn't seen him all week- since I had told him that I didn't want him. Seeing him this morning wasn't just weird because I hadn't seen him in days and he had been standing a few feet away from me while Po and I were just clad in towels. It was also intense because I didn't know what to do or say, and his unwavering stare wasn't helping.

The way he looked at me made me feel....open. And dangerously so. I wasn't thinking straight, I never was when it came to him. It was like he had me under a spell, because all I could do was stare right back into his jade eyes.

I could feel myself start to fall back down that rabbit hole, even though he hadn't said a word to me yet. I thought I had been too far gone, until a cool feeling on my wrist brought me back to reality.

I tried to hide it, but it was too late. He had seen it, and he was aware that I knew that he had seen it.

I didn't know what else to do. I froze, and I was thankful Po could get him to leave, but I didn't expect the cold shoulder he'd give me afterwards; especially after the last couple of days, and the few minutes before.

I just wanted to go and talk to him about his sudden sour mood, but at this point, I'm realizing that I should have just stayed exactly where I was.

Love.

A deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person.

Love.

A simple four-letter word that I'd heard all my life but never gave it much thought.

Love.

The one word that had me sliding down the wall I had previously been pressed up against, to sit on the hard wooden floor, hugging my knees to my chest as I tried to catch my breath.