I Want You

Should've Kissed You

Arriving to work on Monday, he went through the motions and soon wound up inside of an OR with the Chief of Surgery again. Straightening his spine, Ben pushed everything out of his head and watched the man work—it was like poetry really. Surgery was a field that he'd hadn't really given any thought to; the motivation had never been there. But watching Richard Webber work slowly began changing his mind.

In the scrub room, the man said: "No offense to your colleagues, but I've rarely seen an anesthesiologist so in tune to what I'm doing."

Ben smiled. "Your technique is impeccable."

"I guess Bailey is rubbing off on you," the older man laughed.

"You know her well."

"She's a really good surgeon. And an even better woman." Ben listened, knowing that Webber was taking off his Chief hat and putting on his "friend of Miranda Bailey" hat.

"I know, sir. She's amazing." He held in a sigh.

"I hope you tell her that." Ben chuckled, affirming the statement, though it didn't feel like a truth. "Well, good." The men shook hands and went their separate ways.

It had been two days since Ben he'd last spoken to Miranda Bailey. Three days since he'd last seen her. And he missed her. Her touch, her laugh, her smell. Plus, he missed Tuck. The boy had become a big part of his life. The times the three of them spent together had been so much fun. And he'd screwed everything up. The bruised cherry on top was that he could never find her in any part of the hospital. She was never doing surgery, never in the cafeteria or any of the lounges. And his calls and messages were still going unanswered. Ben honestly wouldn't have been shocked if she'd blocked his number. He'd even sent her flowers and an edible arrangement. Aside from going to her to her house unannounced, he was running out of ideas.

Justin was sitting in his living room waiting for him when he returned home for the night. "Have you retired from Anesthesiology and moved on to breaking and entering?" He said sarcastically, dropping his bag by the door.

His best friend laughed loudly. "It's not a B&E if I have a key."

"For emergencies." He went to the fridge and pulled out two beers.

"This is a damn emergency, man." Ben raised a brow. "Your life is in ruins."

"That's... that's... accurate," the younger man replied.

Justin gave him a knowing smile. "I know. Now hand me one of those." The two men sat in the kitchen talking and drinking. "I agree with Ange. A paternity test needs to be done. I don't trust her."

"Am I being naïve?"

"Truth?" Ben nodded sipping from his bottle. The man would sugarcoat things otherwise. And Ben really needed his friend's brutal honesty. "Yes, you're being naïve as hell, Ben," Justin laughed. "Even before the Facebook thing, bro, Regina was..." He looked for the right word. "She was conniving and devious. She wants you—however she can get you. And this baby is the perfect way. Because we all know how you are."

"What do you mean?"

"You're too trustworthy and too damn kind."

The men laughed. "Those shouldn't be bad qualities."

"They aren't. I'm sure Miranda loves those things about you."

"She did anyway. Miranda doesn't want anything to do with me nowadays," he admitted. The thought of his relationship with Miranda coming to an end made him sadder than he'd been in a long time. "She doesn't want to talk to me. She fucking hates me."