game night | g. weasley

32. The Past Two Months

{not my drawing^^^
actually crying...
everyone, please — FREDS POV}

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I'm not even sure how this began.

I don't know if I like it or not.
I can't wrap my head around the feeling.

The feeling of his lips on mine.

The way his dark pink lips feel against my own, the way he knows just how to mesh them together perfectly, the way he pulls my bottom lip between his perfectly white teeth, and the way his tongue always tastes like green apples— the sour kind.

But I don't think I want it anymore.

We were both just so lonely, lonely and in need of someone by our sides when this began.

Angelina had just broken my heart, George had just found Delilah, and I was alone. I was missing Angelina, missing the intimacy I used to have with her, and the fiery connection between us when she came back, but she had quickly put that out. 

Lee came by for our birthday, and he had just broken up with his boyfriend, James. He seemed fine, like he wasn't heart broken, but the night he stayed in George and mines old room with me, I awoke to him sobbing in George's bed.

I remember crawling into the bed beside him, and he had fallen against my chest and cried. I remember my heart had fluttered, but I had pushed it aside and just comforted him.

A connection grew between us, and our friendship had shifted that night.

How this began? I'm not entirely sure. Lee and I sat alone in my room one June night, a joint, that was growing to be nothing but a bud, in our fingers, and a tension between us that neither of us could decipher, nor wanted to tackle.

Delilah and George had gone out on a date for the night, most likely wouldn't be back until nine, and I had offered for Lee to go into my room with me so we could smoke.

I had lost myself in his brown eyes, the smoke drifting around us in the foggy air as we passed the joint back and forth.

"Jordan, how did you know you were gay?" I suddenly asked him, watching his side profile as he blew smoke out of his pink lips.

He raised his eyebrows at me, slowly turning to face me, "What do you mean?"

"In sixth year you came out as gay," I stated, "how did you know you liked guys?"

Lee bit his lip, turning his body to face me as he passed me the joint. "Well, remember my first boyfriend, Liam?"

I nodded my head, sucking in a long drag.

"He was the first boy I kissed, and I just really liked it," he explained simply, his eyes drooping.

I could tell their was probably more as to how he knew he was gay, a longer and more detailed story, but he was too high to explain.

"Do you think you're gay?" He asked me after I didn't say anything, his eyes were wide and his eyebrows raised.

I immediately shook my head, "No, I— well, I've never kissed a guy, so I suppose I don't know. But I love girls! Mm, sex. . ."

I flopped back against my headboard, my head back and my eyes closed as I brought the joint to my lips again, reminiscing in the actions of sex.

I blew out small circles as I opened my eyes slowly, seeing Lee crisscrossed and watching me intently while biting his lip.