the feelings that we hide | SPENCER REID

24. infatuation

When Spencer woke up that morning, he found Vanessa lying on the edge of the bed— nearly falling off. He sat up, walked around the edge of the bed, and lifted the top part of her body back onto the pillow, then moved her legs. He smiled at her messily sleep; she looked so peaceful and calm. She hasn't slept in weeks, and now she was getting what she deserved—a long, nice sleep.

Spencer walked over the room, looking and examining the decorations. She had pictures up from when she was a kid with her mom, not a single one of them with a dad. More pictures with old friends he had never seen before—maybe from college; some were at parties with unrecognizable people, and the others looked professionally taken. He could see Vanessa being a model of some sort and smiled to himself at the thought of her on a billboard. Seeing that her pictures were organized, oddly enough, he came across the frames with pictures of the BAU team. One of them stood out the most, maybe it was because it was in the front, but mostly because it was himself that Spencer was seeing. It was Vanessa, arms wrapped over his shoulders with her lips kissing his blushing cheeks with his scrunched up nervous face.

When Vanessa first joined the team, Garcia had a small gathering at her apartment. That was when she and Spencer first had a real, full conversation. It was about animals—he would give her facts and statistics, like how many animals are being kept in zoos, and how many died from human hunts. It wasn't a very good impression on Vanessa seeing how hurt she was hearing that kind of news—it was upsetting. So obviously, he apologized for his banter, but she enjoyed hearing his talks. She knew what a genius he was and loved hearing him blab around his facts; his knowledge benefitted the both of them in her mind.

As he continued looking around, he saw her journal sitting there. And being the good person that he is, he wasn't about to invade her privacy and read through it no matter how tempting it was. But then there was another journal with the first page opened, and just with a quick scan he read everything on accident.

The first day at the BAU was an absolute gem. I can already tell that the team are great people and even 'profiled' their personalities. Ha. A joke. Not really, that wasn't really funny. But— that is besides the point. I could tell that I was going to get along really well with the lot of them. I may be the only profiler girl, but that wouldn't be an issue.

Aaron Hotchner obviously leads the team; he was the one who I had to talk with and he introduced me to everyone. He's a bit stern, but I know he has a secret soft side.

Jason Gideon, I've heard all about him. He founded the BAU with David Rossi. He seemed a bit stuck up if I'm being honest. I don't think he really likes change, or me as a matter of fact.

Penelope Garcia was by far my favorite. She wasn't a profiler, but a tech analyst. She's gorgeous and pretty funny too. Her and Morgan are best friends and she is definitely the reason why the BAU gets anything done.

Derek Morgan was the ladies man, definitely. He is very attractive... I think. No. I don't think. Can I stop writing every single one of my thoughts? This is not how a writer writes, what? Well great, I can't go back now since this is all in pen. ANYWAY, onto the next.

Now, I know when I read this in later years I'm probably going to gag at how ridiculous I sounded. But that's whatever. I feel like a 16 year old girl writing about some boy she walked by in the hallway. But Spencer Reid was something else. He looked like a worm with his slicked hair and Gumby body, but for some reason he had my full attention; I kind of liked it, anyway. He was adorable, lanky, and dorky in a good way. A really good way. I definitely would've had a crush on him in high school—not saying that I don't now, because I definitely do. He's already amazing. He told me the 2000 Sahara Desert death rate, and that wasn't really enjoyable. The way he stumbled over his words when he realized made me like him all the more. I don't think he thinks of me like the way I think of him, but I have years ahead of me to crush on him.