Subtle Love ~ C.E. (FIRST BOOK)

I Hate You, I Love You

"Do you really think that?" She asked looking up at me with her makeup even more smudged than before, "I do. I don't even know how to explain it but, when I met you, it was like taking that breath of air coming back to the surface after being down in water for so long. Every time I see you, I feel like I'm a kid in high school gushing over his crush that's way out of his league. The fact that you chose me to be the one to love and take care of you for the rest of my life is something I'm still taking in." I joked, receiving a small grin from her, "But just because you're going through something, doesn't mean you're a mess. It happens to the best of us. All you have to do is take it slow. It's kind of my fault for even letting the party happen, I should've known you weren't ready yet. But just know that I'll love you no matter what you're dealing with, and I'll help you through it all. Whatever you need." Before she could even mutter a word, I gave her a tender kiss. Gently placing my hand on her face, stroking my thumb across her cheek. Breaking from the kiss, she whispers, "I love you, so much." "I love you more." I responded. Sniffling up her tears, she asks, "What are we going to do about the guys?" "I'll tell them you're not up for the party anymore, they'll understand." "Okay." And with that, she went to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

I quickly ran down the steps and everyone looked at me with concerned faces, "Hey, is she okay?" Seb asked, "Not as much as she'd like to. I'm sorry guys but, we have to give a rain check for the party. She's just not feeling up to it." "Chris, it's okay. We kind of noticed she wasn't her best self after a few minutes of being here." Krystal spoke as the room agreed, "Yeah, we understand. Just take care of her for us." Scarlett said as everyone started to grab their stuff and leave. "Do you mind if we go up to see her?" Sebastian asked holding Krystal's hand, "Yeah, of course. I'm sure she'll be glad to talk with you guys." They nodded and walked up the steps.

Y/N's POV
After washing all the makeup and paint off of my face and changing into my pajamas, I got into bed and laid there, looking up at the ceiling. My thoughts are just spiraling. And the crazy part about this all is that I still miss my sister. Even if she put me through literal hell. Although she hated me for most of my life, we had a couple of moments where all I felt was love and joy. There were times where we just had fun and gossiped about stuff that happened in high school. I feel even more insane for feeling a bit guilty about Nick when I shouldn't. He literally has done one of the worst things imaginable and I feel bad that he's in jail. What is wrong with me? Pausing my train of thought, I heard the door being knocked on lightly. "Hey, it's Sebastian and Krystal. Can we come in?" "Yes." They cautiously walked in and sat on the side of the bed where I was laying. Krystal took my hand and gave me a small smile, "Not feeling too great, huh?" She asks.

"Nope." "Well, good thing your two best friends are here to listen to alllll of your problems." Sebastian joked with a funny look on his face. He always knows what to say to make me laugh. Although this is the first time I've seen Seb face to face in two months, he was always checking up on me. Of course the rest of the crew along with family members did as well but, Seb would FaceTime me at least a couple times a week. And sometimes he would even add Krystal to the call. "So, is it official? With you two?" I asked sitting up, "Well." He looked to her with smiles on both of their faces before looking back at me, "It is but, not to the public. At least not yet." "I knew it, you guys are perfect together." I awed, "Thanks, y/n. But enough about us. Is there anything you need or want us to do?" Krystal asked, "Absolutely nothing." I responded before they both shot me a look screaming, "Bull". "Listen, I'm not okay. I know that. I thought I could throw this party, have some fun, and forget about it all. I know now that it's not that easy. But I have Chris."

They smiled at my response as I continued, "As long as he's here with me, that's all that matters." She rubbed my arm before giving me a big hug, sighing as she gently pulled away, "Call us if there's anything, and I mean anything." She demanded with her finger pointed, "Okay, I will. Now, go home kids. I'll be fine." I retorted before they both hugged me one last time and left the room. After a few moments of just thinking to myself, I walked down the steps to see the living room empty. Not even Dodger was there. Slightly confused, I walked to the kitchen and called out to Chris but, he didn't answer. My nerves are already bugging out. Finally, I noticed a glimmer of lights shining in the back through the clear sliding doors. Sliding the door over, I walk a little further into the backyard where the pool is and see a tent setup with fairy lights surrounding it.

Taking in all of my surroundings, I giggle to myself and see Dodger running out of the tent, barking with excitement towards me. Then, Chris pops his head out and says, "Oh no, you were supposed to still be upstairs!" "What is all of this?" I asked looking around once again, "Well, even though we weren't able to have the party you wanted, I thought we could still have a movie night." "And we couldn't do that in the house?" I chuckled, "I wanted to do something a little more special than sitting in the house." He smirked before bringing me inside the tent where a projector was set up and all my favorite snacks were on deck. There were several blankets and pillows spread out on the ground and Chris plopped down, opening up the blanket, motioning me to get in. I snuggled up to him as Dodger also made himself comfortable and Chris grabbed the small remote connected to the projector. He turned it on and played the first Halloween movie as we opened the snacks.

"We are about to have a Halloween movie marathon. We'll watch all the screams, Freddy Krueger vs Jason, Halloween-" "The one with Jamie Lee Curtis?" "That's the one." "Didn't you do a movie with her?" "Sure did, she played an excellent mother by the way." "But didn't she play a toxic mother?" "Oh, she did. She just did an amazing job acting like one." I chuckled and put my head on his shoulder. Pulling me into him, he placed his hand on my hip, stroking his thumb across it as we began to watch the movie. And I noticed that during this whole time, Chris has really just been glancing at me every few minutes. Then, I finally stare back at him making a funny face, causing him to laugh, "Why are you staring at me, weirdo?" I asked jokingly, "I'm not staring, I'm admiring." He answered gently with a warm smile, "What's there to admire about me?" I asked scrunching up my nose, "That, right there." "What ever do you mean, Mr. Evans?" I said gazing into his crystal blue eyes.

I'll never get tired of looking into those. "What you just did. The way you scrunch up your nose when you're happy or asking a question. It's so adorable." I felt my cheeks get hot as I blushed and looked down, "And that. I love when you blush. Besides the fact that you always look fabulous, that's one of the reasons why I would always compliment you.....and tease you when we were first dating." "What were the other reasons?" "Well sometimes, I just loved seeing how my words can easily effect you." He whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. Bringing my attention back to his eyes, I quickly leaned in and kissed him as he placed his hands on my lower back, embracing me. "I hate you." I whispered with a slight grin on my face, "I love you too."