On My Doorstep [Editing]

Chapter 28

FAWN

My legs felt like lead as I pushed Ami's stroller into the courtroom door that Kevin held open for us. The sounds of heels and dress shoes hitting the marble floor filled my ears until they faded when the door closed behind us. I tried to swallow, but could barely manage with how dry my throat was. My lawyers smiled when they saw me walking in from their table closer to the front of the room.

There weren't too many people there, but more than I expected, and mostly on my side of the room. The room was smaller than I thought it would be, and I finally understood what Naomi meant when she told me to adjust my expectations. I scanned each person's face, giving each of them a smile whether I recognized them or not. Co-workers and friends of my parents sat in the seats, and I felt happiest to see my cousin amongst the people in their seats. Liv rushed up and gave me a hug, one of the tightest I'd ever gotten from her before she held me at arms' length with misty eyes.

"Everything is gonna be okay," she choked out.

I laughed a little at her, "then why are you crying?"

Liv rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, leaving a slight smear on the side of her face from the wet eyeliner she moved. "I'm not. I have a good feeling about today."

We held hands, and I gave hers a little squeeze. "Thank you for coming. ...I should go sit."

She mouthed an "okay" before she let me go. I said hi to my mom and sister as well, and they gave me encouragement and whatever advice they could offer. Having never been in my situation before, all they could do was be there, and that was enough for me.

Kevin sat with them behind me as I took my spot next to my lawyers. Shion patted my shoulder with a small smile, and Naomi gave my hand a squeeze. I took in a long breath, remembering to breathe from my diaphragm and not my shoulders when the courtroom door swung open again with a squeak.

"They're here," Naomi whispered to me, and I closed my eyes at her words.

My hands shook as I closed them into fists, and I felt like I was barely holding it together. The last thing I needed was to make eye contact with the woman that was trying to ruin my life, and for a reason that I could not understand. Instead, I turned to look at Kevin and my family, who made sure Ami was out of Brenda's view. He put a hand out to me, which I took, and interlaced our fingers. Kevin's eyes fell a bit when he noticed my racing pulse. He moved to sit on the edge of the bench, and came close so that only I could make out his whispers.

"Hey," he murmured, taking my other hand as well, "you're okay."

I shook my head, "I dunno if I can do this, Kevin."

"I know you can. And you can worry, that's okay. This is scary. But I'll be here expecting the best, okay? And the judge will be able to see through whatever bullshit they say. You're Ami's mom, they'll see that." He gave me a kiss on the forehead, then let his hand come to my cheek and linger there for a bit. I leaned into his touch and felt my body relax.

"Okay," I pulled away from him, "thank you."

A tall, burly bailiff walked into the courtroom then called out, "the honourable Judge Moore presiding."

The judge walked into the courtroom, which was everyone's cue to stand up. She had her hair pinned up into a high ponytail, and I could see some grey in her coiled curls. Her expression was pleasant, yet practiced, and she stood tall as she walked over to her seat. The court stenographer and bailiff took their positions, and our judge took her seat within moments.When she touched her gavel, the air in the room changed and it felt like there was no turning back. I looked over at Shion and Naomi, who sat between me and Becca's side of the room. They were focused, breathed evenly and their gazes were fixed where they needed to be. Their confidence made me relax even more.