On My Doorstep [Editing]

Chapter 18

FAWN

"...so, we ended up like that..." I told my mom, staring at the ground. I could feel her disappointed,  parental eyes boring into my soul. But, I deserved it. I had messed up, and I deserved to pay for it. She was right. How could I have done this?

"Shame." She said, staring at me.

"Ma-"

"SHAME!"

Behind her, Ami emerged,  walking up to me. I reached out to pick her up, but she shook her head at me.

"How could you, Mommy?" she asked, the hurt she was feeling very clear in her expression.

I looked at her, completely shocked she would ever say that to me. Since when could Ami talk? Were these her first words?

"Ami- Ma Cherie! I- Why are you-"

"Mommy you promised to save yourself. You lied. You lied-"

"AAAHH!" I screamed, shooting up from my slumber. My heart pounded as I tried to catch my breath, my shaky hands grasping the sheets. I looked around the room, and nothing seemed out of place. It was as usual, in order, my room.

I shut my eyes, relieved that nothing was wrong. Well, other than a dream disturbing enough to scare me awake. "Thank God..."

"For what-"

"OH MY GOD!" My instincts kicked in, and I grabbed the most lethal object near me. Unfortunately, the best I could do was a pen on my night stand. I pointed it at the man in bed beside me. When I finally, actually looked at him, I felt so stupid.

Trent held his hands up in surrender, fighting the urge to laugh. He clearly found this funny, but didn't want to risk what might happen if I used to weapon on him. "Have mercy, please."

I toss the pen to the side, sinking my head into my hands, "oh my God..."

Trent runs his hands up and down my back, the rumbling of his laughter making the bed vibrate. "I'm sorry I scared you."

My eyes go to his bare torso, looking for any signs of clothes underneath the sheets. Even if he is wearing clothes, it doesn't mean he didn't change not too long before. I let out an exasperated sigh, not even wanting to ask the only thing that was going through my head. 

"Did you-" but I have to, "did we... Have sex last night?"

"Don't sound so terrified," Trent gets up, making his way to my en suite bathroom. 

"Trent! Ugh, I didn't mean it like that," I throw my hands in the air, falling back onto the bed. This is so not me, all of this. I don't get back together with a... very delicious douche from college and get engaged to him. Then get involved with my daughter's hot pediatrician, whose lips are like...

I don't do this!

And, he should get that! He's supposed to know me, and we never slept together in college. I told him why I was waiting, so I don't need the childish hurt feelings right now.

Did he slip me something?

No, no way.

He comes out of the bathroom, leaning in the door frame. His arms cross in front of his chest, and he waits for me to say something.

"What?"

Trent shrugs, still looking at me. I know this look. It's the look he gives me when he wants some speech, despite knowing I barely did anything wrong. And that is because he apologizes for saying stupid stuff, and doing some dumb things. So, when he gets even the slightest chance to hear a fraction of that from me, he...

"Furrow your brows, darken your eyes, with the slightest hint of a smile. And with every word that pleases you, a slight nod of the head. Of course, since I am me, I say something you're not particularly fond of, and you step closer..." I watch as he does as I say, bouncing off the door frame and walking towards me.

"And closer, until..."

He places his hands on each side of me, his nose nearly touching mine. I can feel his breath gently brushing my face, and his gaze is intense.

"Not gonna lie, you kinda hurt my feelings."

I scoff, looking away from him, "please."

"Don't 'please' me. You were so scared that we might've slept together-"

I shoot up from the bed, moving his hands off of me. After pacing for a few minutes, a stop at the other side of the bed to look at him. He's waiting somewhat patiently for me, but his foot is tapping against the ground as though he's  trying to tap through it.

"You-" I stop myself, thinking my sentence through before I say something I'll regret. I wave my hands in the air, frustrated, "you have had plenty of sex for the both of us! And you already know how I feel about having pre-marital sex. I won't, because it's against my beliefs!"

"Fawn-"

"Stop trying to make me feel guilty..."

For a while we just stand in silence, looking at each other. It starts to feel like a staring contest, neither of us averting our eyes. I can see him relax, his eyes soften.

"Trent... Did we have sex?"

He sighs, dropping his arms to his sides. 

"No."

I can feel all the tension leave my body, and run my fingers through my hair. Trent comes around the bed to face me, then reaches out to take my hands.

"I have to tell you something," I whisper, looking up at him.

"What's up?"

I gaze into his eyes, admiring the way morning sun bounces off of his beautiful blue orbs. His long eyelashes casting a gentle shadow on his eyes, and the hint of worry showing in his brows.

And, it's time to make a choice.

"I'm seeing someone else."

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