Days were passing by and everything seemed to be normal from the outside. Seher and Yaman was living a normal "married" life, but in the inside both of them were like a mess, emotionally broken.
Yaman was trying to show Seher in every way that what he did was wrong, and she couldn't bear to see him like that. She knew he regrets it all but she needed to learn Yaman a lesson. He had to learn how to trust.
One day she promised Ziya to help him with his plants, and as she was looking after him she noticed Yaman and Cenger sitting on the balcony. She could hear them so she stopped for a while.
Y: I know I messed things up, and I don't expect from her to forgive me right away. I have to show her that she can trust me again but I don't know how to do it. Everything is so new to me.
C: how do you mean new?
Y: well as you know I never felt like this before, I never felt loved or trusted. I grow up on streets taking care of my brothers and that's how I learned not to trust anyone but myself. I wasn't used to have people around who really care about me and my well-being. She waited for me when I came home late. I never experienced that before, no one cared that much about me before. And now it feels like I let down both her and myself. She trusted me so much and I ruined everything. I said things that are hard to forget. I told her that I hate her.
C: but you don't! You love her!
Y: I do.
Sehers heart was beating like it was about to go off her chest. She tried to calm down and continue listening.
That was the first time Yaman talked open and to someone about his feelings.
C: then you should tell her.
Y: it's not the time, Cenger. I don't want her to think that I'm telling this just to get her forgiveness. I want to tell her when she is a bit more calmed, when she can feel that she can trust me again. Maybe she will never trust me like before but it's enough if she trusts me just a little. When I can feel that I will tell her.
C: but how you gonna continue like this? You are married to a woman you love and you can't tell her. How it's gonna work?
Y: well I guess this is the price I have to pay for being a total idiot. Now I'm gonna wait patiently for her to forgive me.
C: do you trust Seher hanim?
Y: I do! I guess I always did. I just lost my mind when I heard the word "I love you" being said to another man.
C: I'm always here if you need to talk, you know that.
Y: thank you, Cenger.
Seher rushed upstairs. She needed to process everything she heard. He LOVED her, he said that. How is she gonna act around him now knowing this? It would be so hard to keep distance, but she couldn't forgive him yet.
She met Ziya in the hall and they wet outside together to plant the new flowers.
During the dinner the only thing Seher could think was that Yaman loved her, she was distant and distracted and Yaman noticed that .
Y: are you ok? You seem distracted?
S: mhm. I'm ok. I was just thinking.
Then Yusuf asked them:
Yu: amca, teyze can we go to the park tomorrow? I'm bored at home.
Y: of course, ateş parçası. Where ever you want.
Seher helped Yusuf into bed and was hoping that Yaman isn't in the room when she gets in. She needed to avoid every contact otherwise her feeling will betray her. When she came in Yaman wasn't there and she felt relieved. She took her pajamas and when she was about to go bathroom Yaman came out of it.
She thought "damn it, he is here"
Y: sorry if I scared you. Didn't know you're back.
S: it's ok. I'll just put on my pajamas. I'm tired and sleepy.
Y: tamam.
She put her pajamas on and went to the room. Yaman was reading but told her he can turn off the light so she can sleep.
S: it's ok. You continue reading. I'm so tired I won't even notice. Good night.
Y: good night.
She couldn't sleep the whole nights. His words was sounding like echo in her ears. He loves her. Seher needed to do something about this, or she will go crazy.
The next morning she told Yaman that she will go to see Kiraz and she could take Yusuf to the park after. He told her that he'll leave her and pick her up together with Yusuf when she is ready.
Y: we've promised him we'll go together.
An hour later she was at Kiraz house. Luckily she was alone.
S: I'm sorry I and un announced it I needed to talk to someone.
K: is that possible? Don't say like that you are always welcome. Come in.
S: thank you.
K: eee ... how are you, is everything ok?
S: I don't know. It is I guess.
K: I don't understand. Did something happened?
S: a lot happened. When he got out of the hospital we went at a place alone so we could talk. He told me how things went and we've decided to let the time heal the wounds. But yesterday ...
K: what happened yesterday?
S: I heard when he told Cenger abi that he loved me. And since the I don't know how to act around him. I feel bad seeing him like that, but he needs to learn how to trust me and others. I guess deep inside myself I forgave him but I don't want him to tell him yet. But after yesterday I don't know what to do.
K: hmmm ... I understand. You both love each other and now when you know that you can't stay distant. I guess wats best to do is to listen to your heart. It will guide you on the right path.
S: you are right. Thank you for listening.
I'll call them to pick me up. We've promised Yusuf to take him to the park.
After a while they were at the park, Yusuf was playing and Yaman got tea for himself and her. Then he asked her:
Y: is everything all right with Kiraz?
S: yes of course. It was a while since a saw here so I decided to visit her. That's all.
After that they played a little while with Yusuf and turned back home. After dinner, they helped Yusuf in bed and went to their room. Seher was still thinking about Yamans love confession, even though he didn't said it to her, she knew that he loves her.
Y: are you really ok? You loo distant!
S: I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired.
Y: I'll let you sleep. I have some documents to sign so I'll take care of them. Good night.
S: good night.
She laid in bed but she couldn't sleep, she was thinking what to do. To tell him she forgave him or to continue like this? She heard Yaman coming back to the room, so she pretended to be asleep.
In the morning she went up early, got dressed and went on the balcony. Yaman woke up and saw her standing there. He went out.
Y: good morning. I guess you didn't sleep well last night. I heard you few times. Are you ok? Are you sick? Do you want me to take you to a doctor?
S: good morning. No I'm fine. I don't need a doctor. I guess I'm just tired, nothing to be worried.
I'll check on Yusuf then we'll go for breakfast. Are you coming?
Y: go ahead. I'lol be right behind you.
On the way to Yusuf she thought that she needed to take a decision today. This should come to an end.
