chapter 1⃣

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Since my brother died nothing was the same . My mom hasn't stopped crying, I mean I can't blame her I missed him to but I have to stay strong for the both of us . If you're wondering about my father if you want to call a man who tried to give me away twice so my mom could have another boy a father then that's you .My mom lefted him high and dry two days after that happened . I never really called him dad, daddy , never wanted to be a daddy's girl like all these other girls . If he ever tried to come I'll probably kill him on sight and make it look like a accident. They really shouldn't put shows on tv that show you what to do .

Okay, that's enough about that bum nigga . My name is Kayla, but my friends and family call me Kay . I am 16 years old 5'5, I have medium brown and black hair . I'm mixed with black and Indian. I'm kind of a tomboy , I am also bi .
As of right now I'm thinking of going just gay because these boys aren't very trustworthy . I mean girls aren't either but it's got to be better than these dudes .
I think about a lot of things as I'm laying in my bed , like right now I'm thinking why the hell am I so damn lonely . like am I ugly or something ? ha nah that can't be . I was broken out of my thoughts when my phone vibrated. it was my best friend Jordan . She's shorter than me with black curly hair , she was mixed with black & white . She was so full of herself, but I couldn't blame her she was cute no doubt .
" Hey " she said
" wasup"
" how you holding up , how's your ma , is sh-" I cut her off
" I'm fine and she's fine , chill with all these damn questions " I said kinda in a annoyed tone. The phone was quite for a second then she finally spoke up .
" aaight I'm sorry I was just checking but anyways what's the moves for today? " she asked
" probably nothing , I was finna gone ball for a bit , you got something in mind? "
" well uh now that you asked " I knew it,  she had something already she always does .
" what is it today Jordan ?"
" I wanna shopping man , I haven't been in like two weeks " she whined
" girl didn't you go literally two days ago ?" I said in between laughs
" Uhh what's yo point hoe , you wana come or no ? "
" aaight girl come and get me " I laughed and the call ended . I got up stretched and went to the bathroom did my hygiene then headed to my closet to pick out a outfit . I finally got out some true religion jeans with a white shirt and slipped on my favorite hoodie with tupac on it . Finally I put on my black KD's. I headed down stairs to see my mom and aunt sitting on the couch looking through pictures of my brother . They asked if I wanted to see some I shook my head and felt a tear forming in my eye . I turned my head so they couldn't see me then I said " Ma I'm going out with Jordan for a little bit , I'll be back for late "
" Ok , you sure you don't want to see your brother you act like you scared to look at him again " she said
" I can't ma knowing what happened , knowing how he died , knowing I could've stopped it . No I don't want to see him " I said I kinda yelled it . I didn't realize it nor did I mean to . I know I hurt her even more . I suddenly didn't feel like going out , I started thinking about what happened I wanted to go in my room and cry my eyes out but I knew I couldn't I had to be strong , I'll let my mom cry for me .
Jordan finally pulled up in her black Benz . I looked in the passenger seat and saw someone I didn't want to see at the moment and she knew I didn't . They got out and saw I had fire in my eyes .
" What the hell ?" I yelled
" Not happy to see me babe ? " unknown
" nah bitch I'm not get the fuck off my property "

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