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Q66: What is the worst thing you've ever forgiven someone for?

by: Shannon Morris

I was the oldest girl at 5 years of age and my brothers were 4 and 1 year old when our bio parents decided through their alcohol addictions to not take care of us.

They left us alone for days at a time. At times they left us in a big box so my baby brother couldn't crawl away. I remember what I was wearing that day so I know I suffer from PTSD. I pretended to my brothers all was okay and tried to think of games to play. I have no idea how long we were left but it felt like days.

I often felt like I was the only sane person in an insane world even as a little girl.

I wondered if others lived in the same conditions. I wondered if they were left alone and this was our life?

We lived in a big city in Texas and my Grandmother dropped by and found my brother and I trying to scrape off dried sauerkraut off our plates to eat. She asked where my baby brother was I told her in his crib but he was cold and I kept covering him up. She ran to the room and he was having fever convulsions. She whisked us all up and went to her house where she contacted the Dr. He asked where the children's parents were and she said she didn't know and he told her to meet him at the hospital. My brother and I waited for hours to hear about our brother. Finally we saw our Grandmother walking toward us down the long hall at the Hospital, crying. I asked how my brother was and she said he was alive but very sick and would have to stay a few days. Later we found out he had German Measles and if she had waited another hour he wouldn't have made it.

This was in 1960 and they must have had something like DSS of today. The Doctor reported his findings to the court and my parents had to appear before a Judge who decided for the best welfare of the children was not to be with them and we were to be put in foster care immediately.

My Grandmother immediately stood up and said she would take all three of us. She was 73 yrs old and the Judge asked if she could provide a good home for us and she assured him she could so he gave all three of us to her. My bio parents were ordered to pay child support but neither one paid anything. My Grandmother used all her Retirement Savings to raise we three.

Throughout the years my Mother would come to our Grandmother's house and get the latest step father to keep her busy talking as she pretended to go to the bathroom.

After they left, my Grandmother was straightening things up and found her purse open and my mother had stolen all her cashed SS Check. She immediately called her at work and said she needed that money and of course she denied taking it.

These were hard times for we children especially for me as the oldest and only girl I felt we were too much of a burden for our Grandmother. She never once said we were but expressed her anger at our mom for stealing from her especially while raising the three of us.

It took a long time for me to forgive my mother. Yet, as an adult and a Mother myself I knew I had to do it for me. I prayed and asked God to help me forgive her because I couldn't do it alone.

I immediately felt His unconditional love shove out that bitterness replacing it with His peace unlike the world but peace that "passeth all understanding."

By the way, that baby brother that almost died is now a retired LTC in the Military and has his Dr degree.

I wanted to add a picture of us while we lived with our Grandmother in Texas. I can't tell you how peaceful it was for us. We three were very frightened little children before being blessed by a wonderful gift, our Grandmother.

This bottom picture is the last time the three of us were together with our Grandmother. She was in her early 90's and my one brother and family and my family were all in the Military stationed away. She went to heaven at 97 years of age. God spared her for us.