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Hehe...Q69: What's you favorite way to subtly mess with people?

by: Julianna Michel

Oh, I am going to probably be disliked after this. But, ok. So when I was in college, I worked at a Target. There was an older lady who had been working there forever and the consensus was that she was highly annoying, so it wasn't just me. She would badger people about donating to her charities, she would tattle about parking violations, dress code, anything. Her whole life was that store and she didn't have many friends. When I started working there, I gave her a chance. Maybe she was misunderstood, lonely. I hung out with her a few times and realized why people kept their distance. I remained polite, though, until one day. I brought Hormel chili for lunch. Now, I know this sounds weird, but I (still, to this day) pick all the meat out. I only like the beans. It takes me 45 minutes to do this, per can. I had my meal in my bowl and was eating it when she walks in. She asked me where I found chili with no meat, to which I told her I hadn't, I had to pick out the meat. I found out from a friend that later that day, in the breakroom, in front of a dozen other employees, that she said I was lying, there was no way I did that, and I was withholding where I got meatless chili on purpose, just to annoy her. So, the next time she saw me eating my chili, I apologized, and told her I got it at this one store, and that I just didn't want her buying any, because I wanted it all for myself. For about a year and a half, until I left, she would periodically come to me and tell me she just could not find that chili in that store anywhere. I would always tell her things, like, I think they moved it to the front, or it was on sale last week so they're probably out right now. I once told her they started only keeping it in the back and you had to ask. That week, she told me she got into a fight with a stock boy because he insisted they did not carry it. I purposely went from eating it once a week to 3 times a week, yes, just to annoy her. 20 years later, I have no idea if she still believes me or not. Petty, I know.