Quora/Reddit Forums

Q20: What did your spouse do or say that made you realize...

...they were cheating on you?

By: Joe Mitch

My ex fiancée used to love Ed Sheeran. We both did. His music is just incredible - he touches so many souls with his beautiful music.

So, as a surprise for my ex, I had secretly brought 2 tickets to see Ed Sheeran in London UK whilst he was on tour a few years ago. I had organised travel down to London, booked a really nice hotel room for the night too.. the plan was to go down to London via train, grab some nice food and then go to the Ed Sheeran concert. This was to celebrate our 6 year anniversary of being together.

The day we were due to go, I'd arranged with her parents in secret to babysit our daughter, so I drove my daughter over to my ex's parents house and told my ex I had a nice surprise for her when I got back.

I got back and she'd gone, with a note saying she'd been called into work at short notice. She apologised and said she couldn't wait for the surprise later that day. This was a disaster as she hadn't been scheduled to work, and I'd spent literally about a thousand pounds on the total trip, this included train tickets, hotel booking, money for a nice meal out at a nice restaurant, plus the cost of the concert tickets which were several hundred on their own each.

What she didn't realise is that I knew full well she wasn't at work because her best friend was in on the secret - she worked with my ex and had spoken to their HR department and booked 2 days off for my ex fiancée in secret to help me out. She confirmed via text a few days prior that they'd had that weeks rota and she was definitely off work so the plan was a go.

I called her best friend and explained the situation, she was shocked and said there was no way she could be in work as she was currently there herself and my ex wasn't in.

I immediately felt betrayed and knew immediately something was off. I drove by her work, her car wasn't there. I drove to her family's houses and drove past causally... her car was nowhere to be found. I drove past a few of her friends places, and again, no car. I got home and sat and waited up until 10pm that night before she came back. I asked her where she'd been.. she just point blank looked me in the eye and said "work where else" ... she asked what the surprise was, I just said forget it, I just got up and went to my best mates house and just cried.

Edit; she denied anything happened but it came out she'd been having an affair for 2 years with a colleague. I had no idea. I've been single ever since and she literally broke me and destroyed me and our family in every way possible. It makes it worse when kids are involved because it breaks your heart when your young daughter asks why daddy isn't coming home. I've never been the same since. I suffer with multiple mental health issues now due to it, i have extremely low self esteem and confidence due to the whole situation and my moods became very low like all the time. It's horrible. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. Some of the stories on here really hit home how devastating the consequences of cheating are. She had always been so careful and at the time I saw no prior signs of her cheating. Now I look back there were clear signs, but sometimes you overlook things like how late someone gets home, or who they're out with; because I trusted she was not going to cheat on me.. I guess ultimately she tripped herself up as all cheaters do eventually.