Tragedy • Eren J.

28

(i thought I published this an hour ago lol)

Your point of view.

I don't know why i ended up going to this coffee shop with eren, simply because I didn't decide to go with him, my annoying smol boss did. He suddenly changed his mind once he saw eren, he said that he wanted to do shopping alone and i should talk to eren.

It's a bit awkward, since this is the first time i saw him again after the party. I am willing to take him back, but I wasn't expecting to see him today. What a small world indeed.

"So.. what were you doing inside that boutique" i asked, i already knew the answer but like.. conversation i guess?

"I-i was helping mikasa pick her.... wedding, gown" he said barely continuing his words, if shits didn't end that way.. i should be the one in mikasa's position.

"Oh that's great, when's the wedding?" I acted like I don't care anymore, but I can't deny the fact that I'm still hurt, I'm not like those girls who move on way easily.

I guess in the end, I'm the one who's only talk.. i keep reminding myself that I've already moved on. But that's not what my heart says.

"In a week.."

So he's really gonna marry her huh? "What about me?" I feel so stupid for asking that even though i only know that he used me, but at the same time I'm willing to take him back, how stupid.

"Y/n.. i-"

"Funny, i shouldn't ask that since you only used me" i laughed sarcastically as i rolled my eyes and look somewhere, this shit is painful.

I just wanna be with him, i wanna kiss him.. i can barely look at his handsome face, he's toxic but why do i keep on letting myself to get pulled by him?

"That's not true, I didn't used you.. i loved you"

"Loved... yeah, this hurts like a bitch" I lowered my head looking at my feet beneath the table, my voice cracked cause I've been controlling my tears.

"I'm sorry, i really want to run back to you y/n. I swear, but I can't.."

"Cause you don't love me anymore" I can't really look at him, i feel like if i do my tears will fall down and end up being so in love with him again.

God, if this feelings of mine only develop because of sex then i need to stop.. but, it wasn't just sex.. we were making love that time, but fuck! I think I'm the only one who thinks that way.

"Y/n, we can't be together.. you know that, literally everyone will disapprove"

"Cause you cared about what other people would think than what i feel eren.." there, that's the shit that's been hurting me for a long time. Of course, everyone would pick mikasa for him.. cause they love each other since what? Since they're still inside their mother's womb?

And what about me? The girl who was in between them cause i was arranged to marry him. Of course everyone will think I'm the villain here, cause i kept them away from each other right?

"I never cared once about what they say, my own cousin is probably disappointed cause i want to fight for you.. my brother, my parents.. but here i am.. hurting because you'll marry someone who isn't me" i began, as i took a deep breath. "I don't even know what your mother sees in me to think that i can make you happy like mikasa did back then, I don't know how many times you've mentioned that she's the only girl you want.. what am i to you then? Just the type of person to be fucked and go?"

He stayed silent, was I spitting too much truth that made him shut up?

"Am i even worth fighting for?"

I looked at him, this is unbelievable.. "can't you see I'm trying so hard to be with you? To call you mine and then when mikasa came back you... you left me" i felt a tear fell down from my eyes.

"Y/n, i think we shouldn't continue this.. i'll just hurt you more.. you deserve someone better-"

"Then be better!"

He went silent again, just looking at me who's tears were uncontrollable falling down on my cheeks. I can't handle this any further, but why am i not standing up and walking away? Is this his effect on me?

"Y/n, stop... this isn't going to work, i need to go" with his coward ass can't fight for me, he stood up and faced his back on me.

"Eren please, don't go.." i can't believe I'm begging right now.

But he didn't listen and continue to walk away, "eren wait, please" I followed him, i didn't care at all for causing a scene and looking like a desperate woman.

But he continues without looking at me, his footsteps were huge and I didn't manage to keep up. Until i just found out that he suddenly disappeared from the crowd. I felt so helpless, so this is the end of it?

He finally made me realize how stupid i am for fighting for him, he finally ended everything here.. he finally left me to go back with her, this is my worst fear..

I sighed as i look at the mall's ceiling while people are walking around me, a smile crept on my lips as the last drops of tears finally escaped my eyes.

I'm letting him go... to give myself happiness.

•••

A/n

Ya'll need to follow me on tiktok to be fed by my thirst traps- I mean! Wow this chapter is very short. But the book is almost coming to an end.

I surely hope the ending wont disappoint ya'll. Thanks for the 200k reads! Ily smm!!!