She's Different..

Chapter 20

⚠️ TW ⚠️: SELF HARM
   
             Nikkis POV

My head was pounding, I felt warm, my eyelids felt heavy, I didn't want to open them, I felt somebody beside me..I didn't want to move, then it came back to me..last night..what did I last remember..oh right..Did that really happen..? Yeah..Q.. he hit me over the head, everything went dark, why though? What had I done to deserve that..I opened my eyes groggily, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dark place I was in, my eyes focused a little more, I was in Billie's room, I wanted to get up, run, scream at her, show her that she hurt me, but I was to tired..I moved my head slowly, Billie was lying beside me, her arms around me, her head on the pillow, I sighed, I hated it, I didn't want to be here, I wanted to go home..I wanted to see my mom..hug her..cry..I was experiencing a bunch of different emotions at once, I finally got the strength to push Billie off me, I lifted the blanket slowly, I was in different clothes, I looked back at her and gave her a dirty look, I stumbled to her bathroom and shut the door, I heard movement, fuck..I woke her up. I locked the door, then made my way over to the mirror. Look at yourself your a mess.. I thought I heard a quiet knock. "Nikki baby..?" Billie said through the door, "Leave me alone" I said, wanting nothing to do with her."please just talk to me..let me explain" she asked softly, I had regained some of my energy, I unlocked the door and pushed it open aggressively, she backed away, but I sternly kept walking towards her, she backed into a wall, I was fed up I put a hand on her throat, not enough to choke her, but to warn her, "I do NOT want anything to do with you, you got that?" I said. Tears formed in her eyes, "I trusted you.." I said sadly but sternly, I still wanted Billie to be in my life though..I loved her..I was just mad in the moment..A tear rolled down her cheek "Please baby.." she pleaded, "don't call me that" I said removing my hand, I walked out of her room, she followed, "Go away" I said, she didn't, I walked to the front door and put on my shoes, "Nikki please" Billie said, I got up and unlocked the door, swinging it open, I stopped before walking out, "Goodbye Billie" I said, closing the door, it hurt..I mean...I still loved Billie..But I needed space..Maybe I would talk to her after..But for now I needed space, I walked about five minutes, I was about to call an uber when I forgot my phone, of course this would happen to me..I mean atleast I could see her..But I was still mad, I walked the 5 minutes back I opened the door "I'm not back for you" I shouted, I expected her to run down the stairs and beg me to stay but she didn't..Weird, I walked into her room, the bathroom door was closed "I forgot my phone" I said sternly, grabbing it from the bedside, I walked past the bathroom again but stopped, I backed up and put my ear on the door, "Billie?" I asked, I heard rustling, like she was rushing to hide something, I opened the door, she leaned against the wall, a sad, guilty look plasterd across her face. "What are you hiding" I asked, looking at her arms behind her back "Nothing Nikki..you should leave" she said nervously, I walked over to her, now standing in front of her, I grabbed her arms and yanked them towards me, expecting her to be hiding an item, but I was shocked..I watched as blood trickled out of deep new cuts from my grip, I let go, shocked "Billie.." I said looking her in the eyes, she looked guilty, she looked down at the floor, rolling her sleeves down, I watched as tears fell onto the tile floor, I didn't want her to hurt herself..no matter how mad I was at her I still loved her..even if she did kiss Lani..I cupped her cheeks in my hands, bringing her face up, us making eye contact "You can't do this to yourself bils, I care to much and I don't want to lose you" I said she didn't say anything but she gave me a look that was saying sorry I rolled her sleeves back up, taking a look at the cuts, I grabbed a wash cloth and wet it slightly, I returned to Billie, I started dabbing at the cuts softly, cleaning them, she winced at the pain, after that I found some bandages in a drawer, I wrapped her arms up, luckily there wasn't too many cuts..there were probably only 4, I think I walked in the middle of it, stopping her. After I was done I looked her in the eyes "please don't ever do that again.." I said, she nodded, I wrapped her in a hug, "please let me explain.." she said, crying. "okay.." I said, unsure.."But only because I love you.."