The Switch {EarthMix}

16.

Earth could feel his own body tensing up a little when finally letting those words leave his lips, but contrary to what he had expected, his boyfriend's expression didn't change much. There was no sign of surprise or shock, the younger looked even calmer than himself.

Had he expected this to be the reason why Earth wanted to have a talk with him? Did he feel the same way about their relationship and was glad that he wasn't the one that had to bring it up? Just why did Pan seem so prepared for it?

"You are a nice person Nong, it's not that , " Earth quickly said and smiled a little, placing his hand on the younger's shoulder. "It's just that over the past weeks I don't feel the same connection with you then what we used to have. We barely even talked to each other and it's... for me that is not enough to be in a relationship with someone. If I date someone, I want to be a person they can rely on, someone they can connect to and I want to make them happy... but I don't think that is possible for us anymore..."

"If that is your decision, I understand."

"What do you think about it?"

Pan let out a soft sigh and crossed his arms over his chest, giving the older a questioning look while studying his facial expressions.

"Does it really matter what I think? It seems as if you made up your mind about it, and if that is the case then why should I say anything? It won't matter anyway."

"Don't be like this... After the partner switch now ends... what is left of our relationship that would be enough to keep continuing this? I just rather have a good end like right now, then us starting to have arguments again and ruining the good memories we have together , " he tried to reason softly, wanting to make Pan realise that this was the best way for him too. Even if he wasn't in love with him anymore, they had still lived together for a long time and the younger meant a lot to him. He didn't want him to get hurt, but still would stick to his decision.

"Did you find someone else? Is that why you suddenly wanna break up Phi? Did you cheat on me?"

Pan's face grew angry and he started getting a little louder, something that even during their more heated arguments in the past hadn't happened to this extent.

"No, I did not start going out with someone else."

"Then why do you wanna break up?"

"Because there is no love between us anymore. We just were a whole week apart and you didn't even answer the two messages I sent you."

"Well I was busy , " Pan shrugged and leaned back, still looking angry.

"People can be busy, yes. But think about the past week: Are you sure you were unable to send me a short reply? Just two or three sentences? "

Earth couldn't help the disappointment that started spreading from his heart. It was one thing if there was a real reason for Pan not answering, but seeing the pictures on instagram of him, Ming and their friends hanging out the last wekeend in a bar and drinking... it was obvious that the Nong was making this up right now.

Yes, getting a little angry over a break-up was understandable and Earth was the last one who would say anything against it. Even if Pan didn't seem surprised by him bringing it up, you never knew how a person really felt behind the facade they showed you. Maybe he was hurt that the older was bringing it up, maybe he felt disappointed. But just accusing your partner and making up excuses for your behaviour? That didn't sit right with him.

"Well I was just busy..."

"We had a good time together, remember? Those times when we were laughing, would smile or just have a good time with each other... I want to keep them as precious memories. Because even though I don't think we can be together anymore, I still want to treasure everything you brought in my life. All the experiences and things I learnt because of you."

"Is it because of Mix?"

Earth sighed again, massaging the brim of his nose while trying to stay calm and put together about all of this. Did Pan really see no problem in their relationship? Did he really want to continue it? Or was he now just trying to find something or someone he could blame that their relationship was about to end?

"Why are you bringing uninvolved people in this conversation? We are talking about us. You and me. "

"Before the partner switch you would have never said anything like that... So it has to be because of him. Did you like the Sex with him? Did you two fall in love?"