•* KOKICHI POV *•
Days past by in a blur, my glassy eyes watched the window as the sky changed from blue to red to black to red to blue and so on. I dont know how many weeks it's been since I've been out of bed, or since the incident happened but I firmly believe that if I stay in here for long enough, I will eventually waste away and forget about everything that happened.
Guilt is the only feeling I've felt in a while. Guilt for acting reckless, guilt for being so horrible and guilt for fucking it all up.
I know I need to apologise and tell him I didn't mean it but I can't bring myself to move a single limb of my body.
Each day I would wonder how he feels if ignoring him is the right idea to fix it all and if he forgives me.
He wouldn't.
I barely registered the door of my room opening, or the three shadowed that loomed over my bed.
I never do, they come in to give me food and ask a few questions but each time they're voices are just a muffled mess.
Then they leave and the cycle continues.
I went back to thinking about him, how he used to be so awful and manipulative and disgusting and creepy.
I think about how kind he is, how he wants to do what's right, how he beat himself up over what he did, how he wants to change himself and how he said if he ever went back to who he was he would kill himself.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Blinded by rage and the feeling I know to well of being manipulated i lashed out and did more damage to him then he ever did to me.
Of course I was bound to fuck it up, I mean this is me we're talking about.
Why weren't these shadows leaving, and why did they keep calling my name.
With all my strength I turned my head and with a few seconds, my eyes had focused on Nagito Komeada, Kyoko Kirigiri and Mikan Tsumiki.
"K-kokichi! Can you h-hear us ?!" Mikans squeaky and terrified voice echoed.
"Calm down Mikan you are doing nothing to help by acting like he's a dead man." Kyoko scold stern voice snapped and her piercing lilac eyes stared deep into mine.
"You can hear us cant you Kokichi, you don't have to respond, just not your head if you can acknowledge our presence." Kyoko spoke again, calmer than before.
I slowly nodded my head.
"It's been 3 weeks since you left your room Kokichi, we are getting slightly worried" Nagitos soft voice spoke, his eyes laced with concern and sympathy.
"I know what happened between you and Shuichi and I know that it caused this. Shuichi told my everything on the day of the incident."
She paused and i listened with no real interest.
"Shuichi has been working on himself these past few weeks, doing everything in his power to fix his mistakes from the past and to become a better person."
I could feel tears prick at the ends of my eyes at the sound of his name.
"He truely cares about you Kokichi all he wants to do is be a person you can be comfortable around and trust." Nagito spoke.
Tears were now falling down my white cheeks.
"I know things have been almost unbearable for you, and on top on finding out those awful things the onlt person you could trust did to you, Kokichi no one blames you for freaking out."
They're telling me this to make me feel better.
"I've been speaking to Shuichi for hours a day and I can tell you with confidence that he dosnt blame you at all for the way you acted and you had a right too." Kyoko said again, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"I have no reason to lie to you Kokichi, I'm not your doctor but you should know that I tell things bluntly, I tell the truth and not what people want to hear. "
"That is the truth Kokichi, you don't need to worry."
The numbness that has spread threw my body was slowly dissapearing as more tears fell. No noise came from my mouth as I cried, only tears of relief, guilt and sadness.
I had no reason to believe any of them, my whole life I had never believed a single word any one has ever said to me, they were all lying to me as I had lied to them.
I couldn't bring myself to care now though.
I couldn't bring myself to be skeptical.
I let go.
With help from Nagitos tender hands, i lifted my head so I could sit in a comfortable, upright position. Nagito ran his hands threw my white and purple hair and put it into a pony tail so that I could see better. He patted my shoulder and leaned in for a hug.
This time I didn't flinch, I didn't slap him out the way like I did with most people, I let it happen.
Letting go was the best feeling I had ever experienced and although the voice in my head telling me they will use your venerability to hurt you screamed, it was warm in Nagitos arms.
I hadn't even spoken a single word but I didn't need too.
All I needed was to hear the truth and really hear it.
Maybe, he forgives me? Maybe he really does.
Maybe I could confess?
•* SHUICHI POV *•
Kokichi Ouma.
I stood at his door, waiting to be called in.
word count: 1024
n o t e s :
Hey guys !! Threw taking these long breaks I feel that I can confidently finish this story :) it may take a while and i thank you all for being so fuckinf patient and telling me to take my time, the support has been unreal. Your all so sweet and I can't thank you enough but anyway I reached 23K reads !!!! Thats fucking insane !!! Thank you for sticking around your all so cool.
YOU ARE READING
i ̶d̶o̶n̶t̶ want forgiveness {POST GAME} <saiouma>
Romanceit's all just a stupid game. we went threw all that trauma and suffering, just to wake up and be told it was all a game ? so it must not done anything right? games don't effect reality. games don't cause trauma. games don't hurt you physically. ga...
